The strange emotions of realising two colleagues are having an affair

catkins

Over the years I have seen quite a few colleagues who have had affairs. They nearly always seem to think that no one realises but people do.


Just keep out of it. I am totally against affairs but there is no point in ever saying anything to anyone having one.

RuthnJasper

j.e.j. wrote: »

In your shoes, mate, I'd just sit back and get the popcorn. If they are indeed having an affair it'll all go sour quickly enough and they'll have snickering workmates to deal with as well as the fallout at home.

This is fantastic advice. One of my (former) best friends started a new job that she had tried very hard to get and was a massive dose of freedom after years in a job she hated. She was in a relationship and barely a week into the new job had passed before she was having it away with a new colleague. She even rang me one Sunday morning from his bed, to laugh and gloat about what she was up to. I was appalled (she couldn't understand why I didn't find it hilarious or wasn't impressed with the lavish gifts he gave her).

It went very sour, very quickly, not least because new colleague was quite an aggressive type. She had to leave the job in disgrace. It was extremely unpleasant. Boyfriend and old job took her back (hmmm) but it was a very rotten time for all concerned.

Step back, just concentrate on your own workload, and leave them to it.

Best wishes.

P.S. Tell Mrs. PW about your suspicions by all means, if you wish - but NOT your emotions. Trust me - she doesn't want to hear that and won't thank you for telling her.

heath480

Stay out of it.


What a waste of emotions,allowing these people to live rent free in your head.Doubt they are the least bit interested in what you think.

PeacefulWaters

heath480 wrote: »

What a waste of emotions,allowing these people to live rent free in your head.

That encapsulates it rather well. It's taken me a few days to get this far in shaking them off. A pointless distraction to a decent life!

Gra76

Don't get involved, you'll get dragged in and you'll be picking sides before you know it. When things hit the fan (which they usually do) you'll be left feeling very awkward around the one you didn't side with. Ignore it, turn a blind eye and let them dig their own hole.

marisco_2

I'd suggest focussing on the issues within your own relationship. To be jealous about not being involved with someone who you suspect of cheating on their current partner, and to even considering sharing these thoughts suggests problems run deep with you and your wife.

Savvy_Sue

Don't tell Mrs PW, in case she ever meets or speaks to either party and blurts something out. "Oh FRED, Mr PW has mentioned you several times, how's ... oh gosh I'm not meant to know about that, am I?

I worked somewhere once where I had email contact with two people from the same country who were known by others as 'the 'nationality' with no brain' and 'the sane 'nationality''. Cue me meeting them at an event, and coming VERY close to saying "Oh, so you're Jane, the 'nationality' with ..." I managed to stop myself after 'nationality', but it was very close!

bagpussbear

Glad you are not going to act on 1, 2 or 3, but seriously don't do 4!

It will only hurt your wife, and possibly cause irreversible damage to your marriage, all because of some silly fantasy thoughts.

Sounds like a bit of a mid life crisis, or you are just bored with your relationship. You need to spice things up with your wife!

Jealousy only creeps in when we are dissatisfied with our lives in some way - what is it you'd like to improve or change? And work from there.

Soon enough this affair will come crumbling down with tears and awkwardness all round. It won't look so appealing then.

fierystormcloud

heath480 wrote: »

Stay out of it.

What a waste of emotions,allowing these people to live rent free in your head.Doubt they are the least bit interested in what you think.

:T

bagpussbear wrote: »

Glad you are not going to act on 1, 2 or 3, but seriously don't do 4!

It will only hurt your wife, and possibly cause irreversible damage to your marriage, all because of some silly fantasy thoughts.

I agree. Why on earth would any man consider telling their wife this?

In this case however, maybe he should tell her, so she can move on and find a good man who deserves her, rather than someone who sits there fantasising that he is having it away with a work colleague, and is jealous of someone who IS doing it.

Pretty disgusting IMO.

suejb2

What a waste of emotions,allowing these people to live rent free in your head.Doubt they are the least bit interested in what you think.

What a brilliant statement, it just describes it perfectly,