Milk thief at work

System

If you buy your own fridge, some employers or premises owners may not allow it as its health n safety as needs to be tested.

Just warning you

JustOnce

To all you people talking about putting laxatives etc in milk, a friendly warning so you know that you're putting yourself up for an assault charge if you do this in real life.

skintpaul

JO, could be interesting when the 'victim is asked just HOW he came to be ill, after drinking (stealing?) someone else's milk..

AubreyMac

You could write 'contains medication' on it.

What I do is transfer my milk to a different bottle and it's been fine.

With regards to workplaces not providing drinks and going to the union, I work for an organisation that has many offices that do provide tea, coffee and milk. When I moved to current office, there was no drinks and some colleagues kicked up a huge fuss. I suppose if it's provided for some offices it should be provided for all.

DigForVictory

It takes a certain sense of ruthless humour but the baby bottles into which you express breast milk are very easy to spot amongst other milk bottles.

Add a few drops of yellow food colouring to lend verisimilitude & most blokes will try to use another fridge than lay eyes on the bottle of terror.

It's not effective against all milk thieves - but a hi vis unique bottle may discourage the thief a tad.

Or you could try drinking your brew with lemon juice? That, bovril & mint tea are my avoid-buying-milk-to-lose-it-to-faceless-barstewards tactics...

AubreyMac

DigForVictory wrote: »

It takes a certain sense of ruthless humour but the baby bottles into which you express breast milk are very easy to spot amongst other milk bottles.

That reminds me (sorry slight off topic but kinda related), when my niece was very little my sister and I took her to the beach. We all wanted to go in the water but me and sis took it in turns to watch our belongings. In the end my sis wrapped all our valuables (phone, ipods) into a new nappy so it looked like a soiled nappy. Nobody stole that.

mandragora_2

I've never worked anywhere that provided free drinks.
I've never worked anywhere where milk didn't get nicked from the fridge.
I've never worked anywhere that people didn't get wound up and upset over milk thefts from the communal fridge.

And no, before you ask, I'm not the culprit! In the early days, I myself have been one of the Upset Ones and once resorted to making a coloured water that looked like milk and leaving it in the fridge. It didn't bring me nearly as much satisfaction as I'd thought it would, because I didn't ever find out who the thief was.

After 30 years, I've come up with two solutions of my own, both of which have worked, and can make observations about a couple of approaches that I wouldn't use.

Solution 1: Get promoted. Get your own office. Get access rights either to the Senior Fridge or a PA who can add 'keep boss supplied with tea - and fresh milk to make their own when I'm not here, because the boss has to work stupidly long hours' to their jobs list. (Don't worry, you'll be so busy and harrassed no-one will mind bringing you the odd cuppa because they wouldn't want your job for a king's ransom.)

Solution 2: Take enough milk for your own needs in a sturdy bottle at the start of the week. At the end of the first day, instead of leaving it in the fridge, stick it in the freezer compartment. The next time you're in (the OP mentioned they are away for most mid-weeks), remove your milk from the fridge, leave it at room temp for a couple of hours. By the time you're ready for a brew, enough will have defrosted for you to add milk to your cuppa. At that point either return it to the fridge, or keep it in a little cool bag with an ice pack by your desk space. It will stay cool and fresh for the rest of the day, defrosting slowly as the day progresses. (It's great too as a sort of ice-pack that keeps sarnies fresh till lunchtime, especially if you've brought THEM in from home straight out of the freezer )

At the end of Thursday you can, if you wish, bung it back in the freezer again overnight (I'm happy to do this, but you may not want to run the risks associated with repeated freeze/defrost. I do it two or three times a week, and haven't had any catastrophes so far!)

Solutions that don't work.
1. Mini fridges. They're little more than glorified cool boxes. They're not efficient over longer periods than a couple of hours. They always give up the ghost within a year, and sometimes within a couple of months.
2. Lacing milk with anything toxic. Accidents happen. Seriously, how would you feel if someone 'mistakenly' (and yes, it might even BE a mistake, or a naive visitor who's never heard of the idea of Milk Wars at work) ingested your concoction and had a terrible reaction to it. While you can have no idea of the possible unintended consequences of your actions, would you be prepared to live with them? Is it really worth even the risk?

So, 30 years on and what have I learnt?
1. I like a brew at work.
2. Someone's almost always bound to nick your milk.
3. Freeze it, let it thaw as you need it, and then don't ever worry about it again.

dktreesea

How about camomile tea, without milk? It will soothe the nerves, the teabags stay locked in your drawer, and it won't matter who steals the milk, because it won't be yours they are helping themselves to.

cfp28342

pinkshoes wrote: »

Wee in it and put it back in the fridge. The culprit will soon stop.

Someone once resorted to this when I was living at university. They then told everyone what they had done and it became pretty obvious who the culprit was!

wapow

Plenty of good suggestions here!


I think it is the cleaners mate. Just stick a friendly note on your milk to say that this milk will be removed personally by (name) please do not bin the milk.


That should do the trick.