MSE News: Are you secretly hurting your spouse by looking after the family finances?

sillysausage1977

We do see quite a lot of posts from women who feel they are exploited financially by their other halfs or who feel as if their partner prioritises their own interests, the way they spend time and money, and all their family commitments just come second. They are very sad - their partner's behaviour rarely changes because they have an embedded attitude that they deserve what they have and these privileges are their right. Many of the women feel as if they have a husband that acts like a child rather than an equal adult contributor to the running of the household.

Thanks for taking the time to reply. Well I did have it out with him and I actually did say he does feel like having another child at times. When he does spend on Ebay its never large amounts but it the fact he does do it time and time again without checking the money is actually there, I don't deny him anything and don't even need to know what he is getting I just want to know we arn't going to go into the overdraft, not much to ask surely?


Btw, I noticed that you are going through a process to release equity from the property? May I enquire the reason for this - is this to pay off his debts? Is there any chance he might squander a lump sum from your remortgage?

No this cannot happen as the amount released it a specified amount and it will go straight to the IVA company.

ethelred

The banks make it impossible to jointly manage accounts and cards. On a joint account they force 2 totally isolated logins and joint credit cards have a main owner. They make you pretend one user knows nothing about the other for " security reasons" yet send out single letters to one name when it suits them. Trying to comply with their silly rules on a joint credit card when the second name has a problem with just their card is a nightmare.

I know there are many who want separation of everything, but for most it make sense to have joint finances when you trust each other and the banks should allow for this.