Secret Debt

secretdebt

Kitten868 wrote: »

So how are you doing with the debt? What's the figure at now? Stuck to the DMP?
Despite the bossiness on this forum on what you should and shouldn't do I have found it a great help in keeping me focuses and making me stronger to take the next steps. I've had zero judgements and the only bossiness has been to remind me that buying myself a pair of shoes isn't the end of the world. Start yourself a diary and join the team

So, the debt is now at just under £30k. I have stuck to the DMP, and have had my ups and downs for sure, but haven't missed a payment and don't intend to either. I have kept regular contact with my creditors as well to ensure they know that I am doing my best to get it sorted.

Kitten868

That's fantastic news! £20k paid in 14 months? That's amazing! Is it tricky paying off your mum too? Does it work with that?
I'm so happy it's all going your way now

QueenBeruthiel

Some sad stories on this thread but some positive and uplifting ones also.

climbingoutoftheabyss

I was in a very similar situation to you, it's taken a long time but I'm close to being debt free.

Just wanted to say a massive well done on your achievements so far and to encourage you to keep going!

leicestersq

SD,

it was a shame that you couldnt tell your partner the problem before she found out.

I hope you agree with me that it is always better to inform someone of a problem like this as soon as you can. OK, they may walk out. But what are they walking out on? You know how hard it is to tell someone something difficult. If your partner walks away after you have done something difficult and told the truth about something, then where will they go? Are they going to look for someone different who hides the truth instead? If they do walk, you are probably better off if they do go.

And if you are on the other side of a discussion like this, try not to go mad at your partner. Sure, it may mean that you might not be able to have that nice holiday this year or put a deposit on a house, but you have someone who is prepared (in their mind and that's what counts) to risk the relationship by being honest. That is worth far more than any house deposit.

secretdebt

Hi all.

Just an update, I am one month away from getting under the £20k mark. Feels good to be edging closer.

This past year I have had a job change, and then left and went back to my old.

We are very close to moving out of the in-laws, hopefully in a month or so.

I still have about 2 years left before it is paid off, but I am seeing the end of the tunnel.

ZarZar1990

Well done SD nice to hear you're almost at 20k! x

bilbodreams

Keep going, you are doing great! Love your updates!

enthusiasticsaver

secretdebt wrote: »

Thanks for your replies.

For the time being at least, I think the DMP is working ok. A few issues at first but I am pretty sure they have been sorted out now. The DMP aspect should be paid off at the end of 2019 - so about 4 1/2 years from now.

Telling my partner - unfortunately I don't have the balls for that. Not yet anyway. Baby steps for me

The worst thing is, is that last year I had the chance to go and work abroad which would have paid everything off and give me a nice little bonus at the end - but she didn't want me to go...so I didn't go.

If your partner knew about your debt and that working abroad for a while would sort you out financially do you think that she may have been more accepting of you going? Short term pain for long term gain?

Secrecy in relationships, whether about debt or anything else almost always causes problems eventually. Being upfront means you are both dealing with it together. If she does not know about your DMP then she could be spending money you don't have still and compounding the problem especially if she is not working. I would tell her soon.

itchyfeet123

changeforbetter wrote: »

Very easy for some to say 'come clean' but some of us may risk our partners, and also children doing that. Just come clean? Not so simple.

I realise I'm responding to an old post, but this attitude makes me angry. You're essentially tricking your partner into staying with you. It shows incredible disrespect for your partner. If your partner would choose to end the relationship over the debt, then by not telling him/her you're actively taking away your partner's ability to make decisions about what s/he wants from his/her life.

I assume no one thinks it's ok to chain their partners up in the basement to stop them leaving. If your partner is inclined to leave you, you don't get to prevent them from doing so. Whether you lock someone in the basement or withhold information you strongly suspect would make them leave, you're controlling your partner.