What would you do?

thorsoak

It would appear from your posts that you are feeling very bitter towards your wife and want to extract some form of punishment for her behaviour.

But you have to try to be as dispassionate as possible when divorcing - hard I appreciate. Just get it over with as soon as possible, including sorting out access to the children (might need to arrange it in a managed situation due to her alcoholism). Yes - she might be dead within 7 or 8 years - but she might be completely alcohol free in the same time frame.

Far better to get a clean break sorted out now.

theend?

Yes very bitter at this moment in time which really isn't me


Just her fella !!!!ed in the background shouting !!!! him just take the !!!!! to the cleaners!


has really rubbed me up the wrong way when they're both unemployed drunken layabouts and im doing a full time job and bringing both kids up. GGGGGGRRRRRRR.

neneromanova

How old are the kids?

theend?

The kids are 9 and 11. They are not an issue its sorted.
They are with me they can see her supervised that's it. A solicitors letter is going out to her explaining exactly how it is in case she's any doubt; if she does decide one day she going go on a little trip on her own to see her boyfriend with them ill just call the police.

Gigglepig

theend? wrote: »

Gigglepig
I don't think she would agree to that, she wants money now, and to be honest what you've recommended is pretty much how it would be if I just did nothing - other than I wouldn't be divorced.

Might be good to get divorced though to cut ties financially. Have you asked solicitor if your ex can force sale of the family home before kids are grown up? It does no seem to be that unusual that resident parent wit children remain in the house.

dktreesea

If you sell the house and give her half the equity, obviously after clearling any outstanding loans first, where will you then both stand? How much will you both get out of it? Will you have sufficient deposit to be able to afford to buy another place?


At the moment you are separated. Are you sure you don't want her back? if yes, then you need to institute divorce proceedings. Just do it. She can't take you to the cleaners.

thorsoak

theend? wrote: »

The kids are 9 and 11. They are not an issue its sorted.
They are with me they can see her supervised that's it. A solicitors letter is going out to her explaining exactly how it is in case she's any doubt; if she does decide one day she going go on a little trip on her own to see her boyfriend with them ill just call the police.

Unless you have a legal document, set up by the courts,the police will do nothing as the mother will also have parental responsibility. A solicitor's letter will not be sufficient.

PasturesNew

Just get rid. Divorce/sort the house out. Job done.... it won't be looming over you ... and you won't get a sudden surprise when she decides it's time for you to be surprised.

theend?

dktreesea
I would be remortgaging the family home, I can afford it would just be over a longer term mortgage , I was paying everything anyway so the bills etc are not an issue luckily.


don't want her back isn't the same as would need my head seriously looking at if I did take her back - if she would come back!

theend?

forsoak
that's what I thought but my solicitor was very clear as I am the primary carer and she has documented drinking issues if she was to take the kids without agreement I can ring the police and tell them I feel they are in danger.
Hope to never have to put it to the test...