Should I make formal complaint - breach of confidentiality by funeral director staff

G6JNS

PennyForThem wrote: »

Ask the Information Commissioner (IC) whether you should make a complaint as they are the 'watchdog' in charge of data protection act under which this comes.


IC is really approachable - ring or email. They will advise.

It does not seem to be a DP issue. Your suggestion is OTT. The OP does not even know first hand what has happened. My advice would be to leave matters to rest. There are far more important issues she needs to deal with.

duchy

It is entirely the next of kin's decision who they tell and in what manner.

The crassness of a couple of replies above saying the OP is over reacting is breathtaking and I can only assume those posters have yet to lose a loved one to not understand .

Mojisola

charliegirl wrote: »

Partner passed away recently, we had a very private cremation just me, the kids and his closest friend. Felt that's what he would have wanted and didn't want an audience for our grief, we just played his fave music and talked, laughed & cried together.

The funeral directors seemed great, compassionate, caring etc. However they knew how discreet I wanted everything, I didn't even want notices up advertising either the fact he had died or the details of where/when the cremation was taking place. I'd made that very clear from the start.

I recently met someone who's known me & my partner for a long time, approx 20 yrs or more. Anyway he was asking how I was, then said he knew all about the cremation from his daughter who was told by her friend that works for the funeral director.

duchy wrote: »

It is entirely the next of kin's decision who they tell and in what manner.

The crassness of a couple of replies above saying the OP is over reacting is breathtaking and I can only assume those posters have yet to lose a loved one to not understand .

Well, I've lost several dearly loved family members over the last few years and I still think the OP is over-reacting.

The cremation went exactly as the family wanted. The funeral directors were great.

What possible reason would family have to keep the death a secret? Once the formalities are over and handled in the way the family wanted, what does it matter who knows that a cremation took place?

bouicca21

I too have lost dear ones. I have never considered that either their deaths or the fact that a funeral had taken place had to be kept secret.

G6JNS

duchy wrote: »

It is entirely the next of kin's decision who they tell and in what manner.

The crassness of a couple of replies above saying the OP is over reacting is breathtaking and I can only assume those posters have yet to lose a loved one to not understand .

Perhaps you should read the full details before leaping to conclusions. The OP has only heard third hand that the service details were known.

SevenOfNine

It was important to you to have a completely private funeral, just as you feel your partner would have wanted. You have confirmed beyond a shadow of doubt that this was achieved.

Sadly, unless you are living on a desert island, people will have noticed your partner is now absent. I wouldn't even try to hazard a guess as to why you want your loss to be a secret, but I'm afraid realistically that hasn't a chance of success. Whether you acknowledge it or not there will already be a degree speculation & gossip.

The part this young man at the FDs played in that is negligible, let it go. I am genuinely sorry for your loss, but a word in his ear nor a more formal complaint isn't going to help you feel any better.

PennyForThem_2

very surprised if details were not held either in paper or electronic form


How else would details be held?

Nicki

PennyForThem wrote: »

very surprised if details were not held either in paper or electronic form


How else would details be held?

Why would a funeral director need to write up what happened at the cremation service? All they need to know for a funeral like this, and be in charge of, is what time to have the deceased there and when to pick up the relatives if they were doing so. Who was attending, contents of the readings etc are all matters for the family and I can't see these would ever be asked about or recorded. Or certainly weren't when my father died and had a small family only cremation recently.

If the young man from the funeral directors did gossip about the cremation it is far more likely to be because he was there as a pall bearer or driving one of the cars and therefore observed it, then because he read about it in written form somewhere.

lavandergirl_2

Would data protection apply if the person is already deceased?

AMILLIONDOLLARS

The question is what do you want to achieve from the encounter? He would have reported that the service went well, and that you did it your way.

I think the people that knew you and your husband, would have been equally hurt that they were not allowed to say good bye (20 years, then cut out when it mattered most). They respected your wishes, but I am sure they fully appreciated the news that your husband's funeral was beautiful, why would you deny them this small compensation.

Yes, I am a widow myself!

AMD