refusing to sign divorce papers

Yolina

Just sign the papers and be rid of the guy... It doesn't matter who is down as being "unreasonable" and has no bearing whatsoever on anything - division of assets, support for your son etc wont be affected.
Someone will correct me if I'm wrong I'm sure but I though "unreasonable behaviour" was just a generic catch-all for a reasonably quick divorce, otherwise you have to have to be separated for a number of years before being able to file for divorce?


Edit: must remember to refresh thread before posting in future :rotfl:

duchy

Br1gg5y wrote: »

the reason I left was because of his behaviour towards myself and my son, I have never stopped him from seeing his son even though he is mentally abusive towards him, he takes his son to school everyday and "should have him" every other week over night, my "husband" decided that was too much for him and now only has him once a month,


I grew up with my mum not letting me see my dad and know what damage it has done to me, I have to let my son make his own mind up about that, I have not tried to belittle my "husband" to my son, when he asks why we don't live together I just tell him because I don't love him anymore.

Sounds like a result to me !
Can you make arrangements for you to take your son to school as well ? I wouldn't allow anyone to have daily contact with my son if they were mentally abusive towards them - plus it gives him a form of control over you if you are reliant on him to do something so essential. If Dad wants more time with his son he can do the normal every other weekend thing like a normal non resident parent. HE doesn't decide -you as the resident parent do. There's no reason for him to come to your home daily - and to be honest it isn't healthy if you are seperated over control issues.

You didn't answer if your ex is paying child support yet by the way.

theoretica

Br1gg5y wrote: »

Now a year later my "husband" has filed for divorce on the grounds of MY behaviour, yes I want this man out my life but I refuse to sign the papers because of the reasons of which he says MY behaviour,

If you want a no-fault divorce you need to wait at least 2 years after separation. Otherwise either he divorces you or you divorce him. If he is the one filing the paperwork this may mean he realises you couldn't afford to pay the court fees and is assuming he will do so.

Hoipolloi

I appreciate your indignation, only you can decide on where to go from here, but that needs to be on the sound basis of having received legal advice on this matter.

Wateryfowls

Sorry to heart your predicament as someone who knows where you are coming from I would give him the divorce and get the finances sorted out as best you can. Have you gone to the one stop shop that WAid offer they have reputable solicitors who can help. Sad but true there is no redress for marital abuse in the courts it's about division of assets and as you probably know. Can you get legal aid keep trying all avenues CAB etc you need proper help. Good luck and keep your chin up.

Kim_kim

I agreed to being a spendthrift & using my husbands credit cards on my excessive spending sprees.

Didn't matter & it got shot of him quickly.

I wasn't worried about any legal issues due to his allegations, he didn't actually have any credit cards......

Kittycat1981

You fled because of DV, you were placed in a women's refuge, contact them to ask for advice or to point you in the direction of your local authorities Domestic Violence services.

To me (someone who has worked with lots of DV victims) he appears to be using the divorce as another method to try and control and intimidate you and labelling you are the unreasonable one is an insult (but most dv perps always blame their victim and take no responsibility for their actions)

Gloomendoom

The advice given to me when my wife was divorcing me on ridiculous grounds was that nobody else gives a !!!!!!, so sign and be shot of her.

Sound advice.

Br1gg5y

duchy wrote: »

Sounds like a result to me !
Can you make arrangements for you to take your son to school as well ? I wouldn't allow anyone to have daily contact with my son if they were mentally abusive towards them - plus it gives him a form of control over you if you are reliant on him to do something so essential. If Dad wants more time with his son he can do the normal every other weekend thing like a normal non resident parent. HE doesn't decide -you as the resident parent do. There's no reason for him to come to your home daily - and to be honest it isn't healthy if you are seperated over control issues.

You didn't answer if your ex is paying child support yet by the way.

The reason my ex takes my son to school is I start work at 8am, the high school my son goes to doesnt have a breakfast club, and its the next town over, so I drive to my exs every morning. My ex pays for my son's school dinner money and his pocket money every week but other than that doesn't pay me anything.... x

duchy

Legally he *has* to pay child support to you. You don't need to go to court to get this and it has nothing to do with the divorce. He should have been paying proper support since the time you left (and I bet he knows this full well)

How old is your son ?
Most children of high school age have the capacity to travel to school by public transport . Why does your husband need to drive him ? Why are you allowing him to if he mentally abuses your son ? Your husband is of course entitled to see his son - but daily when there is abuse involved isn't good for your son surely ?

Mind you I suppose it's cheaper - but then if this man was paying what he legally should - then money wouldn't be such an issue anyway.

Pocket money and dinner money- He's taking the pee my dear .
Use this calculator to work out what he should be paying https://www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance then sort it. This man has effectively stolen from your son by not paying for his support for over a year. Add up how much he has cheated your son out of over the last year - and think of the things you could have done for your son with that money - and get it sorted -If he refuses to pay with a private arrangement then it can be done through the government.