'Playing out'

Jagraf

FBaby wrote: »

I think you mean that SOME kids do stupid kids. It doesn't take reaching adult age to know that throwing rocks on cars is totally irresponsible. Thankfully, i feel completely assured that my kids wouldn't do something like this. They don't consider being unsurpervised as an opportunity to do things they would otherwise get into trouble for. They get no buzz from doing things they shouldn't and getting a buzz from it.

I honestly don't think my DS would have been phased in this situation. He had a mobile (very cheap £10 one) from the time he was 8 and he would have called me right away, or if it too much pain asked one of his friends. I remember the time he took the train alone and then told me he had no more battery on his phone. I got very cross with him, asked him how he would contact me if something happened. He calmly said that in that instance he would asked for someone if he could borrow their mobile and recited my mobile number.

It really does come down to the fact that there can be quite a large gap in maturity when it comes to being responsible.

What if you had needed to contact him? There is being sensible and there is an "all angles covered" which can only come with being older. All kids can be good and sensible. But they are kids. And should be treated as such, for their own safety.

FBaby

So who is responsible for these kids actions if they decide to get up to no-good, as kids often do..?

That same kid can set his own house on fire and endanger the neighbours. As said before, how can you be absolutely certain that a child is not going to get up in the night, take a cloth, turn the gas of the cooker on, set the cloth on fire and set the all kitchen on fire? Will the parents be to blame for not be fully awake at 3am when the child decided he couldn't sleep and looked to entertain himself?

What if you had needed to contact him?

I can't imagine a situation when I would have needed to contact him urgently but if it really couldn't help until he got to his destination and was absolutely urgent, I'm sure I could have made contact with the company who could have made contact with the conductor if it was that serious.

Saying that he has learnt that I am not going to be happy if he doesn't have his mobile and since then, he has learnt to ensure his phone is always charged. I am in the process of getting his a free EE charger that he can keep in his bag too, just in case.

I personally don't believe that 'all angles' can always be covered. It is not possible whatever the age, however, my DS is very resourceful and is very good as coming up with sensible solutions. His confidence means that he would know to go to someone trustworth for help. It's now been 4 years that he has been doing things on his own and there hasn't been one incident, so clearly my judgment can't have been so bad.

FBaby

I don't see it from a protection perspective. Kids hanging around or playing in the road aren't learning anything. There s nothing to be learnt from playing in the road other than dire consequence.

It's not all about learning but also socialising and having fun. Our neighbour have two sons 9 and 11, and there are not allowed out. They are often at the window looking at my kids having fun. They always look like sad kids. They probably are not miserable, but I do feel sorry for them.

Jagraf

FBaby wrote: »

It's not all about learning but also socialising and having fun. Our neighbour have two sons 9 and 11, and there are not allowed out. They are often at the window looking at my kids having fun. They always look like sad kids. They probably are not miserable, but I do feel sorry for them.

Lol. They are probably just as happy as yours, dont worry

missbiggles1

Fireflyaway wrote: »

I'm not so much worried about her getting up to no good - although I do worry what the kids she is with might do if they are lacking supervision. Its more about her safety in terms of if she got badly hurt like the boy today or was approached by a weirdo or hassled by older kids. I do teach my daughter what to do in those situations but I think in practice 8 is still too young to deal with issues if they were to arise.

That's a very poor priority for a parent to have.

Kim_kim

j.e.j. wrote: »

Well, if I need to spell it out for you.. the age of criminal responsibility is ten? Yet some parents are letting their under-10s out unsupervised.

So who is responsible for these kids actions if they decide to get up to no-good, as kids often do..?

Of course not every child is going to get up to mischief, but the opportunity is there, whereas it wouldn't be if they were with an adult.

I have no idea how you bring your kids up so there's no need to interpret things as though I am pointing a big stick at you personally.

10 is probably the right age, somewhere between 10 & secondary.
I'm not so sure kids are safer with mobiles. I think carrying steal able items can bring trouble to them.

On a side not, how old for a boy to use the men's toilet alone?
My daughter was challenged by someone in a public loo the other day who said, "shouldn't he be using the men's"......
He's 3!!!!
Ok - he's 3 & three quarters.
He's far from small but he's not huge either. My daughter is buying clothes in 4 now, but he's still wearing some aged 3.

j.e.j.

FBaby wrote: »

That same kid can set his own house on fire and endanger the neighbours. As said before, how can you be absolutely certain that a child is not going to get up in the night, take a cloth, turn the gas of the cooker on, set the cloth on fire and set the all kitchen on fire? Will the parents be to blame for not be fully awake at 3am when the child decided he couldn't sleep and looked to entertain himself?

You just don't seem to get it do you.. the idea of parental guidance.

Still, you're not alone, I'm sure.

maman

j.e.j. wrote: »

You just don't seem to get it do you.. the idea of parental guidance.

Still, you're not alone, I'm sure.

FBaby wrote: »

It's not all about learning but also socialising and having fun. Our neighbour have two sons 9 and 11, and there are not allowed out. They are often at the window looking at my kids having fun. They always look like sad kids. They probably are not miserable, but I do feel sorry for them.

I don't think anyone's suggesting that the alternative to 'playing out' means keeping a child in looking wistfully out of the window. For me the alternative is that the children go out BUT a responsible adult goes with them to supervise.


I'd agree that around 10 is about the right age to start loosening the strings a little in readiness for the invariably longer journey to secondary school. But I think jagraf is right that it's a few tasks/tests to encourage independence and responsibility that's needed then not just turfing them out.

bylromarha

A friend began talking to me yesterday about "free range parenting" in the USA and the debate that is currently going on over there, sparked by a 6 & 10 yr old being picked up by police, as they were alone 2 blocks from their home. Parents had previous "form".

Jagraf

Even free range chickens stay in a field