'Playing out'

marisco_2

My approach was to encourage independence in my children gradually. We walked everywhere as much as possible so as they got use to being sensible near and crossing roads. They started off by playing out in our street. When I could see that they were being careful and respectful towards our neighbours and their properties I let them venture further afield. All that I asked is that they came back regularly so as I knew they were okay. I would send them off on an errand to the shop to buy milk or a paper. Anything that gave me the opportunity to place some trust in them. It was good for them to follow a request, add up the shopping they were buying and work out how much change they should get.

Kids need to experience a level of freedom and to know that their parents have confidence in them being able to handle things bit by bit.

raven83

FBaby wrote: »

Just commenting on this, but why assume that kids will be up to no good?

It isn't so much I would think my child is up to no good, it is other people I don't trust, and that is what worries me.

bylromarha

Fireflyaway wrote: »

I have an 8 year old and feel very strongly that its not appropriate for her to 'play out' unsupervised.

I have an 8 and 10 year old and I feel very strongly that it is wholly appropriate for my kids to have played out unsupervised since they were 6 and 8

You do what you feel is best for you and yours. I may have felt different if there was just 1 child.

They had a whale of a time in the park across the road from us, or walking up to the shop to spend their pocket money, or scooting around on the "track" they made. Now they are 10 and 8, they walk 15 minutes to and from the library to change their books, crossing 1 main road to do so.

In September, the now 10 year old is going to be 11yrs and 2 weeks old, getting on a 1 hr bus ride to school without me, at a bus stop opposite the library. I am pleased we have spent his life taking slow steps getting him ready for this independence.

They are good kids, who enjoy playing out. They have proved they can be back within a timeframe, they have coped with an "emergency" - 8 yr old fell over and scraped her knee. They confidently and safely cross roads. They know all about stranger danger. They are rubbish at spotting a mum in a car sneakily following them the first couple of times

There are nasty people out there, but a child is at far higher risk of "issues" from someone they know and trust than a random stranger in the street.

meritaten

its difficult. I can remember going down the local playground aged around 5 or 6. no adults around, but if a kid got hurt you could run to any house and an adult would come and take charge.
I think kids are too 'mollycoddled' today. They should be allowed to go out and play, without 'adult supervision' 24/7. that's part of being a 'kid'.
the problem is that although crime against children hasn't really increased that much - News media and Social media make it seem it has. so of course Parents get Paranoid.
You cannot keep children locked up - they should be allowed out to play - you just do your best to keep them safe.

onlyroz

My son is nearly 10 and we've been letting him go out around the village with his friend since around Christmas. The rule is that he crosses the main road at the crossing and he's back before dark. In reality he's never out for more than an hour or so. I think it's important to let your kids have some independence otherwise they'd never be able to cope with secondary school.

Alikay

I didn't let mine out unsupervised until they were 10 or 11 because the neighbours in our cul-de-sac didn't like it if they could see or hear them, so I'd be stood on the doorstep with a cuppa every second they were out, shushing them if they laughed or shrieked . Luckily they went to cubs/scouts and DH and I took them out a lot but there was no opportunity to play without being watched let alone get into mischief like DH and I did as kids.

meer53

Kids these days are wrapped up in cotton wool. My daughter has played out with her friends since she was young, as long as she wasn't on her own and she told me where she was going i was fine with that. Quite often there would have been a group of them, they always stayed together and watched out for each other.

When she started high school, she got herself to school and home again as i work full time and couldn't take her and pick her up every day. She was just 11 then. She's a very confident, independant 14 year old now, quite happy to catch buses to meet her friends, go shopping etc on her own.

There are dangers everywhere, you have to make a judgement call sometimes, but mollycoddling kids doesn't do them any favours. I remember being out from morning till dark when i was younger, no mobiles in those days ! My mum didn't know where i was, but i knew i had to be home before dark or i would be in deep trouble.

People think it's more dangerous these days, i don't think it is, the media causes people to be paranoid. Stuff still happened years ago, it was just never reported.

merlin68

I let dd whos 19, walk to school and go out on her own, when she went to secondary school.
I dont like dd 2 whos 16 going out on her own as she only has a mental age of 8.
I lived on the roughest council estate ever and dd was fine getting bus to school and back.
There were frequent murders on that estate.
If you remember the news from last year, where the student was stabbed 15 times.

Gillybean

My boys have played out at the front of our house (quiet cul de sac) since the age of about 3. Obviously at that age I was out there with them.

Eldest has been allowed to call for friends and go to the park, corner shop with them etc from the age of 8. However he was not allowed to roam the streets, they'd go to the park and if he wanted to go anywhere else he had to come home and tell me.

Youngest is almost 6. He can play outside our house n his own or with friends and he can call for a couple of friends who live a few doors away. But that's it for now.

It really depends on so many factors and I'm lucky that we live on an estate mainly comprised of families where all the kids play out, hence why I feel I can let mine play out too.

aileth

As others have said, it wholly depends on where you live. We grew up in a quiet cul-de-sac. Everyone knew each other, and at least one adult at a time would have an eye cast over us. We weren't allowed out of the cul-de-sac until our early teens.

If it was me now though, I don't have any kids, but if we were to stay where we were currently and had kids, I would be very wary due to some of the people who live around here. We are a few minutes walk from a big park, but I know from walking our dog that there's lots of vicious dogs off the lead, lots of dark hidden corners, and local gangs congregate in some areas. I would be far too anxious to allow it!