Help- I am sick with worry

margaretclare

Hi

I think you should always, always, always go to court (and that's not just you, that's anyone). If you don't go, no matter what is said beforehand (by the bank, the creditors etc) how do you know what they're gonna say in court? And if the creditor turns up and you don't, the judge hears only the creditor's side of the story and makes a decision on that basis. People are scared to go, but really it's much the best idea.

One thing that happened to us was during my husband's divorce. Because he cashed-in some Halifax shares (the free shares when they became a bank) to pay part of his solicitor's bill because it dragged on for so long due to wifey's lies...anyway, when the other side got wind that he'd cashed these shares they demanded a court hearing. Now, as there's a distance of 160 miles I guess they assumed he wouldn't turn up for the hearing, or if he did, he wouldn't be represented! Wrong! He turned up, and we found a local solicitor who acted as agent for his solicitor dealing with the divorce. It was a huge shock to wifey's solicitor when they appeared, and very advantageous to him rather than to her. Serve her right, the lying b***h.....but if he hadn't turned up, the judge would have heard only the side of the story that she wanted heard (mostly lies anyway). It still gives us a little smile to think of it.

Aunty Margaret

kitster_2

** Unhelpful - Edited By Abuse Controller **

margaretclare

kitster wrote:

benefits brigade

What's that supposed to mean?

Aunty Margaret

crutches

thats exactly why i'm having to force my husband (and myself) to claim.I feel we should be working.i feel so guilty that i can no longer do those jobs.

sorry if i offended anyone who resents us for not working.I truly hope you never get fibromyalgia.it changes your life.

margaretclare

crutches wrote:

sorry if i offended anyone who resents us for not working.I truly hope you never get fibromyalgia.it changes your life.

I hope that I never implied any such thing! I used to get that all the time when my first husband was alive: 'why doesn't he get a job, he looks all right.' In fact he died aged 58 after 20 years of progressive heart disease. I am the last person to 'resent' anyone for not working when they have a condition which prevents them.

Aunty Margaret

Fran

margaretclare wrote:

I am the last person to 'resent' anyone for not working when they have a condition which prevents them.

Aunty Margaret

I think crutches was reacting to the poster whose post was deleted (I didn't see it, but going on your and her response.

crutches wrote:

thats exactly why i'm having to force my husband (and myself) to claim.I feel we should be working.i feel so guilty that i can no longer do those jobs.

You shouldn't be feeling guilty nor should your husband. It's by facing the fact (as you are) that you do have to claim those benefits that you are entitled to because neither of you are in the same position as before that will get you out of the problems you have now. It's a choice between accepting that you need help and losing house/ending up in court all the time. Anyone worth knowing wouldn't have a problem with this.

jellyhead

me too. my aunt has multiple sclerosis and had to stop working while only in her 30's, these things can happen at any time to fit healthy working people - isn't that what the benefit system is for, to protect those who can't work?

elona

Well said jellyhead!

I hope those who are the first to critize others never discover the hard way about ill health , redundancy etc accidents - or all the other things that can change our lives for the worse!

crutches

sorry margaretclare! as fran said i meant the quote that you included.
You have been very useful!thankyou:)

spendaholic

Hi Crutches

I picked up your first post right when it happened and have been following it ever since. I didn't respond because I just didn't know what to say that would help. But you've had lots of helpful advice and support.

I just wanted to say I think you've come a hell of a long way since that first post and wanted to ask you to remember that whenever you're in despair.

Good luck with everything.