Help- I am sick with worry

Fran

crutches wrote:

shelter willphone back with a home visit tomm.and jobcentre gave me inc cap appt 2/6/05.

statement from bank sayspayments due 10,821.21(since 8/11/98 for some reason)
payments made 14,540.89 CR.
i dont understand it at all so i'llleave it for shelter/cab.
woman from bank quite rude on phone about bad debtors.
my ENTIRE mortgage is 25,500
arrears 2,145.22.court order to pay these at £50 per mth.
i'm sure some people owe more???
its our own fault.i've always worked and husband has a horror of being on state benefits and scrounging/shirking.(NO OFFENCE INTENDED)
he has a small interest in his exes house,she has had a livein partner for
10 yrs but because partner is not male she can claim asasingle parent
and not have to pay up even tho we have 1 child with us and she has 1
CSA do not pursue due to her violent nature and childrens welfare!
we have obviously gone wrong somwhere.i only pray i can rectify it.

Yes people do owe more but you had a court order to pay £50 pm and you didn't keep to it which is why you've been given the eviction date (there is no leaway once you reach this stage and you HAVE TO keep to the repayments).

So you've got:

Eviction
Shelter phoning you back tomorrow re home visit (?)

Benefits
DLA/Carer's Allowance applied for, Incapacity Benefit appointment @ Jobcentre 2/6/05 and Disability Welfare Rights appointment Friday 3rd 10am (what is the Jobcentre appointment for?). Are you getting Council Tax Benefit?

Debt - If you get to see CAB - (in your original post you said CAB are sometimes at your GP) - they can look firstly at your eviction problem and help you fill in a form which has to go into court before the eviction date with mitigating circumstances to see if you can prevent it. I'm mentioning CAB again because you might be able to see them before Shelter. They can also help with any other debts (you mention bailiffs in your first post) and advise on the other things you mention such as social services and other ways you might get help with cleaning and childcare.

Isn't your husband able to clean? Are the children old enough to help (perhaps a small cash bribery might help?! Even the smaller ones might manage to tidy up things for a bit of cash!)? Has he faced up to the situation like you have or is he trying to pretend it isn't happening? Are you able to discuss it with him? What about the child who is at uni, are they living with you - if yes, do they pay something towards their keep?

Sorry about all the questions but it does appear that you are facing all this on your own (except for the help you get on forums of course!).

crutches

dontapologise fran!i asked for help so u need info.:)
1)dau. at uni lives away so obviously i dont take keep.She comes back if we need her at her own expense because she feels guilty for leaving(we MADE her go).if she comes back in the summer and gets a job then we will work something out depending on salary etc.
2)i do discuss with my husband but legally the house is in myname only so i HAVE to d/w court/bank etc.
3)we have asked about council tax benefit b4(went to court and magistrates wiped off 3 yrs worth because wecould not pay...council told them they wereonly oneswho could do this legally).the council policyaccording to the form help lady is to insist on auditedaccounts which cost too much for us.The tax office dont need them!disability rights are going to query this as other councils are more flexible with selfemployed accounts.

crutches

4)jobcentre isfor incapacity benefitand to see if we need income support and how it works with dh being self emolyed.
5)kids at home help a bit but the littlies are 6,4,11 mths so its rather limited help and sometimes a bit counterproductive!
6)we have a 13 yr old....jekyll and hyde!the other 13 yr old comes at weekends and hols,is very spoilt and used to everything being done for her.she will help if nagged but doesnt see ajob b4 being asked ifu c what i mean?
7)in the hols we will also have a 15 yr old who is happy to do a bit of gardening/painting/rough stuff etc but minly here to stay with friends he is usually 200 miles away from.
8)husband does most thingswith baby on hisback but is ver depressed,hashigh bloodpressure,carpal tunnel and bad excema on hands.
9)house seems to get dirtyquickly....quarry floors,muddy garden,open fireplaces,mouldy walls.floorcleaner now baby crawling:)
please DONT thinki'm too flippant...if i dont laugh i'll cry and i cant afford to.

Fran

Perhaps you could have a "clean & tidy up day" or whatever you want to call it - perhaps over May Bank Holiday if there are 13 yr olds (& 15 yr old?) around. Give them some warning so they know it's coming!

Your husband sounds like he may be entitled to some benefit too. I understand that he doesn't want to claim benefits etc. but that is what they are there for, and he has paid in for years so he can get something back when he needs it. If he has depression presumably he doesn't do as much work as he would like to - you said £800 per year in your first post, was that right or did you mean £8000? Perhaps he needs someone to go through his finances with him? Your present situation can't be helping with depression - does he go to the doctor? Will he go with you to CAB/Shelter etc.?

crutches

:(:( eight hundred was right...hes selfemployed.

if he came to cab wed have to take 4 & 1 yr old too which would probably be more stressful than being on my own.!

since the 15 and p/t 13 only come inthe hols wer rather lenient and only expect them to d/w their own mess but theres no harm in asking.Trouble is their other parents are very wealthy and the sums we would offer for tidying are sweet money to them.I will ask tho.

hedoesntwork much because of caring for me
i need help takingtablets,bathing,hirwashing,cooking,carrying things,walking sometimes tho usually on a badday i stay in bed. trying not to be so lazy but constant pain is a bit tiring.

Fran

If your husband's on £800 per year, that works out as roughly £15 per week. In order to get Working Tax Credits you have to be working 16 hours so he's earning less than £1 an hour? Is his self employment losing him money?

If one of you is over 60 you should be entitled to Pension Credit - see Citizens Advice - Adviceguide.

When are you going to see Citizens Advice?

Did you get an appointment from Shelter?

crutches

only 52&35 but feel 100!

mummytofour

Hiya hon,
I dont want to be rude here, but to me i think you guys would be better off with dh not working at all? I know how he feels about his pride, i totally understand that but your health is nobodys fault, we are lucky enough to live in a country where we do have a welfare state, which is there (hopefully) for when we need it.
Vxx

crutches

yes i know.i've been telling him that since i gave up work!
currrently filling in council taxform and nice lady there tells me they may accept our 3 line accounts
andwftc notice asevidence.fingerscrossed.
phoned dla,they've written to my gp for info so decision waitsfor his report.they have made a note ofcicumstances(eviction) andwill prioritise form at their end as much as poss.I felt there was no harm in asking??.
shelter have not phoned back and are shut for bank hols.
tryingcab again now as they havent phonedback.lack of volunteers i guess.
currently £250 extra in the bank mortgage account over what should be there but they will obviously want more than that.(begging letters to charities sent off too.)

Fran

Sounds like you've been busy... keep at it and you'll get somewhere.

Any luck with CAB?