Splitting the bill with extravagant friends

Jagraf

If food or fine wine is someone's thing, then they can spend what they like on their hobby. What I don't understand is why someone wants to force their hobby on someone else.

I wouldn't spend an uncomfortable amount on anything.

onlyroz

maman wrote: »

I'm fascinated as to where people go for an evening for £20? Amongst my friends, we almost always spilt the bill except for one friend who's teetotal. She always puts in a sum to cover everything she's had and a tip and then the rest of us spilt the bill.

Not sure what sort of places you eat at but I'm in the South East and there are plenty of places where you can have a nice meal and a drink for £20 a head. Not necessarily if you want 3 courses and drink like a fish, but a decent main course for say £10-12, maybe a dessert for £5-6, and a glass of wine or beer to wash it down.

And no, there's nothing wrong with Strada or Bella Italia or Wagamammas or whatever other chain restaurant you like going to.

purpleshoes_2

Id buy the friend in post 1 a lovely bottle of champagne for her 40th




From aldi


She'd probably hand it back, win win

makeitstop

Jet wrote: »

I have actually tried the "can't afford it line" and then she changes the date, assuming I will better off at the new date or tries to reassure me how it won't be an expensive night out, but her idea of an inexpensive night must be different to mine!

She's clearly hearing you, but is definitely not listening.

You need to make it clearer in some way, so as she hears you properly. How you do that is up to you, but I'm sure you can find a way.

Jagraf

clark24 wrote: »

Thing is there is a chance that these people are getting into debt just to 'keep up with the Joneses'. That they also can't really afford that much on a night out but are too embarassed to admit it, so put it on a credit card. The fact you are budgeting responsibly is possibly an alien concept to them but they are not worth getting into debt over, or having to sacrifice things that actually make you happy.

I did that with a whole holiday in a previous lifetime. It all went on a credit card. It was certainly to keep up with the Joneses. Glad I'm not like that now

justme111

You seem to be reluctant to spell it clearly that outings involving more than lets say £40 are not on the cards neither this month or any other and annoyed with her that she does not take your hints. I would been upset if my friend did not tell me clearly her budget for going out and kept coming up with excuses.

lostinrates

onlyroz wrote: »

And no, there's nothing wrong with Strada or Bella Italia or Wagamammas or whatever other chain restaurant you like going to.

Honestly, I am not a fan of chains in general. I do love wagamamma, and go one on one, or in very small groups of close friends, but I think the way food comes in dribs and drabs is not great for friends who don't want to dig into each other's plates. . while I agree there is Nothing wrong with, it doesn't mean its going to be everyone's 'cup of tea'. IMO neither stance is wrong and its not wrong to not want to spend money there, nor to enjoy going.

When I go out and spend money otherwise it is a bit of an occasion,and for me personally to go out to eat food less good than we have at home for more than I spend at home, is a depressing thing, where as by saving at home and splashing on the fewer nights out the experience is more how I prefer to go out.

HOWEVER, if a friend could not afford it the situation changes somewhat. Personally I'd still not want to meet for a chain supper all that much ( though have and do) but might suggest meeting for just drinks ( instead of supper) ....( people can see to their own suppers...none, a sandwich before coming out whatever). As for performances, a box at the worst place is nothing like the worst seats at an incredible performance. ( and infact, good stalls give better views and are better seats than a box usually) so her snobbishness is misplaces over artistic values. . But otherwise, cheaper seats still somewhere where eyeline is less important,.....e.g. Switch from opera to a classical music performance, then sit and close your eyes. Yes, it might still matter where you sit technically......but really....not so much, especially in a good venue.


Also consider meeting for much cheaper artier events, poetry readings events in bookshops, often five to ten pounds to get in, sometimes mad old legends in literature for example.

Make your alternative suggestions fun, arty and cheap....not just....cheap.

justme111

Does not have to involve art. A jog in the park with a walk yap and orange juice after is supercheap and great .just as an example. He who wants finds the way.

SandC

Tony Macaroni, I have never heard of that!! Good job cos it sounds like I'd never be out of there.

purpleshoes_2

It's a Scottish chain. There's one a few miles from me. It's much better than the naff name suggests.