coincidence....or creepy....or be flattered?

vroombroom

Morning

I work with a girl of a similar age to me and we have a similar kind of life - fella, kids, working around said fella's hours etc so we get on quite well. We've met up outside of work a few times too to take kids and dogs to the park and stuff.

Anyway recently little things she has said or done have started to grate on me and I don't know how to take it - am I just overthinking it or not?

I've noticed that she talks over me and changes the subject about her. A lot. I smile and nod and let her get on with it.
If I have done something, she has done it better.

We were recently talking about me getting another dog. In the end I decided against it. A few weeks later she went and bought the breed I had mentioned, in the colour I'd mentioned.

I am also in the process of going back to my natural colour of blonde. I've had highlights a few times. She is a redhead and at the weekend came into work with blonde hair.

Then last night....she mentioned her and her hubby are looking at renewing their vows. Lovely I said. They are looking at doing it the same month we get married this year and at the same small hotel we are getting married at....that she had never heard of until I mentioned it to her.

What do you think? x

neatheyc

vroombroom wrote: »

Morning

I work with a girl of a similar age to me and we have a similar kind of life - fella, kids, working around said fella's hours etc so we get on quite well. We've met up outside of work a few times too to take kids and dogs to the park and stuff.

Anyway recently little things she has said or done have started to grate on me and I don't know how to take it - am I just overthinking it or not?

I've noticed that she talks over me and changes the subject about her. A lot. I smile and nod and let her get on with it.
If I have done something, she has done it better.

We were recently talking about me getting another dog. In the end I decided against it. A few weeks later she went and bought the breed I had mentioned, in the colour I'd mentioned.

I am also in the process of going back to my natural colour of blonde. I've had highlights a few times. She is a redhead and at the weekend came into work with blonde hair.

Then last night....she mentioned her and her hubby are looking at renewing their vows. Lovely I said. They are looking at doing it the same month we get married this year and at the same small hotel we are getting married at....that she had never heard of until I mentioned it to her.

What do you think? x

Does sound like she is copying your ideas. But I don't think it's anything to worry about. I would just take it as a compliment that she likes your tastes. You're not in competition.

Even if you dye your hair blonde now, or get that same dog. What does that matter?

pollypenny

A measure of flattery, but she sounds like one of those self-centred 'me, me, me' sorts.

She likes your style, but cannot bear the attention on you. I doubt that she is even aware of this trait in herself.

fairy_lights

vroombroom wrote: »

Then last night....she mentioned her and her hubby are looking at renewing their vows. Lovely I said. They are looking at doing it the same month we get married this year and at the same small hotel we are getting married at....that she had never heard of until I mentioned it to her.

The other examples you mentioned could just be chalked down to coincidence, it's not unusual for friends to develop similar tastes and influence each others choices anyway.
But this one is a bit strange.
Is she maybe unhappy in her own life and looking at you and sort of thinking the grass is greener where you are, and trying to emulate you?
Does she have many other female friends?

reehsetin

stop telling her things

aileth

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery they say... She does sound like a Grade A attention seeker. I'd stop discussing your plans etc and see her flounder when she has to think for herself.

Kayalana99

Why don't you just talk to her and tell her what you've said here? See what she says. I do think it's to much for them to be renewing your vows at same month and place but same time people talk and get ideas from each other... when we moved house OH's mum started talking about moving house to, in end they didn't but they seriously considered it..copying? Perhaps..but they are not doing it to annoy us certainly we just gave them the idea doing it ourselves.

krustylouise

My MIL does the same thing. I find it really strange but have to tell myself that imitation is a form of flattery. MIL has said previously that she'd love to have married someone like DH?! She cooks whatever I cook, baked whatever I bake, I cut my hair so does she, I dye my hair so does she, I paint my nails so does she, I made a patchwork quilt and so did she.

I mentioned it to DH who said she doesn't have much in her life so probably just does it to keep her busy (but seriously there's a million and one things she can be doing without it being the same thing as me!)

She used to text me every morning as well as DH to see how we all are (I'm currently pregnant) and has text me every morning for the last year then all of a sudden 10 days ago she stopped and had started saying comments to DH like "I'd ring more often but don't want DW (me) calling you a mummy's boy!" (I've never called him a mummy's boy) "I'd move closer but I don't want it to cause arguments between you two" (I've never commented on her moving closer, although I did say I couldn't bear her being at our house every day, which she would be as she'd have moved away from everyone else.

Sorry to change the subject to me, I kind of went off the beaten track. Sadly there's not much you can do, try being flattered by it and don't pay it another thought as she's obviously more occupied with you than you are of her x

Flyonthewall

I certainly wouldn't say coincidence. I don't know about creepy, but it is a bit worrying that she's doing that. I mean, hair colour and saying she's done things better doesn't harm anyone. Renewing vows isn't a bad thing but not sure she's doing that for the right reason.

The dog is more worrying, I hope she's looking after it properly! Doesn't sound like she got it just because she really wanted that dog and has been thinking about it ages, it sounds like no thought went into the decision and getting a new dog is a big thing that requires thought and consideration.

Maybe she's doing it because she likes you, but what she's doing is a bit extreme. I'd perhaps avoid talking to her about bigger, more important subjects, like wanting another dog or holidays or houses just in case.

suejb2

Reminds me of the 1992 film "Single White Female"

vroombroom

fairy_lights wrote: »

The other examples you mentioned could just be chalked down to coincidence, it's not unusual for friends to develop similar tastes and influence each others choices anyway.
But this one is a bit strange.
Is she maybe unhappy in her own life and looking at you and sort of thinking the grass is greener where you are, and trying to emulate you?
Does she have many other female friends?

Not outside of work no x