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Nice People Thread No. 14, all Nice and Proper

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Comments

  • LydiaJ
    LydiaJ Posts: 8,083 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker Mortgage-free Glee!
    edited 17 January 2016 at 10:40PM
    Maybe.

    I'm more of the opinion that people should be free to make whatever decision they want to with regards to work.

    If like us people choose not to have children, and work 70+ hours a week for decades instead to develop their careers, then I fully expect to be ahead of those that don't make that sacrifice and I'd be pretty bl00dy annoyed if some form of 'affirmative action' now allowed people to leapfrog we who have put in the hard yards.

    As I said there are virtually no women at my level... But the ones that are there are not all childless... So clearly it can be done.

    I don't know exactly what I think about this. I know that I don't want to climb the greasy pole myself. I am happy working part time in the role I have now, and I don't think I could manage to work much more considering my family circumstances ATM. There is a small extra responsibility that I'd like to take on, one day, but the person currently in that role is happy doing it, so it's not open!! I was hoping he'd get a promotion he applied for a few years ago, so I could apply for his post, but he didn't get it.

    The speaker I mentioned was at least honest about the myth of "having it all". She said you have to make choices. She got to be a CFO by only taking short maternity leaves, having a nanny, and going back to work full time. She has managed, however, to pick companies that would allow her to keep weekends fairly work-free and not ask her to do much foreign travel. She said that people have different ideas of what kind of work-life balance they want, and nobody should expect there to be one right answer that fits everyone.
    Do you know anyone who's bereaved? Point them to https://www.AtaLoss.org which does for bereavement support what MSE does for financial services, providing links to support organisations relevant to the circumstances of the loss & the local area. (Link permitted by forum team)
    Tyre performance in the wet deteriorates rapidly below about 3mm tread - change yours when they get dangerous, not just when they are nearly illegal (1.6mm).
    Oh, and wear your seatbelt. My kids are only alive because they were wearing theirs when somebody else was driving in wet weather with worn tyres.
    :)
  • Generali
    Generali Posts: 36,411 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Chewy - we have had au pairs in the past that have worked very well. We pay c. $200/week plus bed and board and limited access to the car (i.e. welcome to use it for work plus when we're not using it). The downside is having someone share your house. The upside is that we've had quite a few pretty, young French women which is rarely tedious.
  • LydiaJ wrote: »
    She said that people have different ideas of what kind of work-life balance they want, and nobody should expect there to be one right answer that fits everyone.

    I'd agree with that.
    “The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie – deliberate, contrived, and dishonest – but the myth, persistent, persuasive, and unrealistic.

    Belief in myths allows the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.”

    -- President John F. Kennedy”
  • michaels
    michaels Posts: 29,135 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    In the public sector as well as weekends being pretty much off limits for work there are some pretty senior job sharers - personally I don't think it works very well at all.
    I think....
  • chewmylegoff
    chewmylegoff Posts: 11,466 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Generali wrote: »
    Chewy - we have had au pairs in the past that have worked very well. We pay c. $200/week plus bed and board and limited access to the car (i.e. welcome to use it for work plus when we're not using it). The downside is having someone share your house. The upside is that we've had quite a few pretty, young French women which is rarely tedious.

    Does an au pair look after 1 year old babies? I thought that was more for when they are school age and need to be taken to and picked up from school?
  • silvercar
    silvercar Posts: 49,667 Ambassador
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Academoney Grad Name Dropper
    Does an au pair look after 1 year old babies? I thought that was more for when they are school age and need to be taken to and picked up from school?

    No, they are far too young and inexperienced to have sole charge of a one year old, let alone two of them.

    A nanny share with another family may work, where they stay with you for the days that you need and another family has the nanny on the days you don't need.
    I'm a Forum Ambassador on the housing, mortgages & student money saving boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Forum Ambassadors are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with this). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.
  • LydiaJ
    LydiaJ Posts: 8,083 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker Mortgage-free Glee!
    I went back to work (part time) more or less on DD's first birthday. DS was a few weeks off 3. I looked at nurseries, and found one that I thought would be great for him, but none of them struck me as a place I'd want to leave my one year old. Instead, she went to a childminder, an amazing woman who did all the sorts of activities good mothers are supposed to spend time doing with their little ones, while feeding her healthy food and maintaining a spotlessly clean and tidy house. I was in awe of her domestic abilities. DD was very happy there, although of course it was occasionally a problem when the childminder was sick. I didn't have any problems with the childminder taking holiday, because she had a kid of school age, so took her time off out of term time, when I didn't need her anyway.

    By the time DD turned 2, we had moved house and I had moved job, too, and the childminder was no longer geographically convenient. However, I found it much easier to find a nursery I thought would suit her once she was that year older.
    Do you know anyone who's bereaved? Point them to https://www.AtaLoss.org which does for bereavement support what MSE does for financial services, providing links to support organisations relevant to the circumstances of the loss & the local area. (Link permitted by forum team)
    Tyre performance in the wet deteriorates rapidly below about 3mm tread - change yours when they get dangerous, not just when they are nearly illegal (1.6mm).
    Oh, and wear your seatbelt. My kids are only alive because they were wearing theirs when somebody else was driving in wet weather with worn tyres.
    :)
  • zagubov
    zagubov Posts: 17,938 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited 18 January 2016 at 1:12AM
    We had a childminder recommended to us by a work colleague. It was extremely good as she was a most amazing woman who showed all the superlative qualities lydia describes. A totally sound person, and no mistake. Mary Poppins can take a running jump as far as I'm concerned.
    There is no honour to be had in not knowing a thing that can be known - Danny Baker
  • ukmaggie45
    ukmaggie45 Posts: 2,968 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Photogenic
    edited 18 January 2016 at 11:13AM
    DQWD

    deleted
  • Generali
    Generali Posts: 36,411 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Does an au pair look after 1 year old babies? I thought that was more for when they are school age and need to be taken to and picked up from school?


    We used an au pair for babies. You need to remember that they are unqualified so you need to choose carefully. We had a lot of success going down that route though. One of them ended up as The Girl's godmother!
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