Family argument re: funeral attendance

[Deleted User]

Pollycat wrote: »

Then just say 'no'.

I can't help feeling that you're wallowing in this - and enjoying it in some perverse way.

Ha Ha. Come on to be fair, its not so easy to say no to an upset parent is it?
Saying to his face NO Im not doing that is not the nicest way IMHO.

I think everyone would rather not argue or upset their parent. My Dad, most of the time, apart from his stupid ideas, is a really nice fella. Hes been good to me in the past.

I will do whatever I can to help him and I will put myself out for him. BUT, there is a limit which, as explained, he does cross. He can be a complete PITA sometimes.

Enjoy it? No way. It drives me up the wall!!!!!

Pollycat

[quote=[Deleted User];67960682]Ha Ha. Come on to be fair, its not so easy to say no to an upset parent is it?
Saying to his face NO Im not doing that is not the nicest way IMHO.

I think everyone would rather not argue or upset their parent. My Dad, most of the time, apart from his stupid ideas, is a really nice fella. Hes been good to me in the past.

I will do whatever I can to help him and I will put myself out for him. BUT, there is a limit which, as explained, he does cross. He can be a complete PITA sometimes.

Enjoy it? No way. It drives me up the wall!!!!![/QUOTE]

Your brother seems to manage it though:
[quote=[Deleted User];67958897]Its funny with my brother. He always has some excuse or other and I think my Dad sort of writes him off and just thinks hes useless I'll just get me to do it.[/QUOTE]

If my Mother asked me to do something as 'nuts' as your Father is asking you to do, she would get a firm 'no' with an explanation why the answer is 'no'.

I personally don't think it has anything to do with how good your parent(s) have been to you.

A stupid suggestion is a stupid suggestion.

[Deleted User]

Pollycat wrote: »

Your brother seems to manage it though:


If my Mother asked me to do something as 'nuts' as your Father is asking you to do, she would get a firm 'no' with an explanation why the answer is 'no'.

I personally don't think it has anything to do with how good your parent(s) have been to you.

A stupid suggestion is a stupid suggestion.

True about my brother. But I have no intention of being like my brother. Long story...

You're not wrong of course and go for you for being able to do this.

Pollycat

I think you just either like to feel needed by your Father or just like to have a moan about him.

Mojisola

[quote=[Deleted User];67960682]Ha Ha. Come on to be fair, its not so easy to say no to an upset parent is it?

Saying to his face NO Im not doing that is not the nicest way IMHO.
[/QUOTE]

Use similar techniques to dealing with stroppy kids - instead of saying no outright and getting an emotional response, give alternatives - I can't do it that day so do you want to A or B?

Giving a choice puts the ball back in their court.

JimmyTheWig

[quote=[Deleted User];discussion/5197938]but he point blank refuses to get a taxi because he doesn't believe its right for "people like him" to pay for taxis.[/QUOTE]
"People like him"? People who don't drive, you mean?

Who does he think they're for??

19lottie82

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

"People like him"? People who don't drive, you mean?

Who does he think they're for??

I think the OP means his Father thinks taxis are for upper class people, with plenty of spare cash, who maybe think they are too good for public transport / walking, that kind of thing.

Paul, you've posted plenty of stories / problems related to your father on here, tbh it doesn't sound like he's going to change anytime soon! You just need to be a bit firmer and refuse to back down to his silly demands....good luck!

[Deleted User]

Pollycat wrote: »

I think you just either like to feel needed by your Father or just like to have a moan about him.

but of a harsh comment here.

margaretclare

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

"People like him"? People who don't drive, you mean?

Who does he think they're for??

See the other thread. It seems to be a social class thing. 'Not for the like of us, we know our place....' An attitude that should have been consigned to the mists of history.

Before anyone says 'it's his age' - no, it's not. DH and I are that age. I remember using taxis waaay back in the 50s when I war nobbut a lass.

Slinky

I can remember one taxi ride throughout my entire childhood. We had a car and dad drove us normally. On this one occasion we were booked to go to a Harvest festival dinner. Mum had to phone a taxi for me and her as dad had to go and collect my brother from hospital where the school had taken him with a broken arm. Funny how things like that stay in your mind.

Dad was of the sort that was reluctant to use a taxi on the odd occasion he needed one. I recall him walking 6 miles to the station on more than one occasion on a Sunday as our local branch line didn't run on Sundays, when going to an airport for work and not wanting to drive to Heathrow.