Late cards and gifts from people

LilElvis

barbarawright wrote: »

For someone who claims not to care about people, you are very upset about something as trivial as a late birthday card

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5197855

As the OP has already stated - family and acquaintances/friends are different.

The fact that hypocrisy runs through her threads like letters in a stick of rock appears to escape her completely though.

Counter

The fact that you say your family get annoyed when you send a late card suggests that you are sometimes guilty of the "insulting" practice of sending late cards. Presumably you don't intend to be insulting? In which case the topic of this thread is really 'aren't double standards annoying?' (as you have already pretty much stated) but you have for some reason got distracted and chosen to frame this as 'isn't it insulting to send late cards?'.

marisco_2

I try my best to always get cards and gifts to family and friends in time for their special day. I don't want to have put effort and thought into arranging it all only to end up upsetting or offending someone by it arriving late. That said it doesn't bother me in the slightest if gifts or cards for myself arrive late. I have very close bonds with all of my family and friends and know how much I mean to them by the way they treat me every day throughout the year. That is what counts to me the most.

fierystormcloud

olgadapolga wrote: »

My MIL always used to send cards to my boys late - up to four months late, not because she forgot but because she didn't care. However, she did care about my daughter (she'd never had any interest in the boys) so always sent a card on my daughter's birthday and enclosed cards for the boys (for appearances' sake. only though).

One year when one of my boys was about 5 years old, he dutifully rang her to thank her and he blurted out, "Why did you send my card in AUGUST when my birthday is in MAY? It was AGES ago!" My husband was mortified but personally I thought it was a fair comment :rotfl: She didn't care about them and it showed. Children are not stupid and the boys knew exactly what was going on. They don't have to thank her anymore as she hasn't sent a card since. It used to really annoy me but only because she treated my children differently.

That is awful! There are a few in my family that send stuff several weeks late, but never four months: I am glad your son said something! The thing is, the people who are late (or even worse, forget!) can't shut up about it if you forget THEM. :mad:

mum2one wrote: »

From the opening post it could have been my family, for me if I receive a card and or present them I'm grateful, but for family on my mums side they expect it all the time.

On my mums side my daughter was the 1st grandchild followed 12 days later by my cousins daughter - who was due 1st and how dare I pip her to the post.... The kids be 13 this yr.
the 1st bday - dd gets nothing - we take presents us for cousins 1st bday we were a day late - we'd been away but did send a text - happy bday - the floor wiping my mum got was disgraceful how dare we be a day late - then to add fuel to fire I mentioned that if that was the case I should be the one sprouting feathers as dds was 13 days late....
Since then for about 5 hrs dd never got her bday present till after the cousins then it was recycled - I recycle - but not to the extent of toys / dolls with no packaging that you see in shop in boxes etc, clothes with size tags and all labels out - in the end it came to a family bust up so we don't buy for any of them.

It saddens me that it comes to this with families - but it happens xx

Again, not very nice. Why are some family members so rude? As I said, two of my sisters are devils for this: the other two are OK, but it's just the two (the oldest two actually!)

marisco wrote: »

I try my best to always get cards and gifts to family and friends in time for their special day. I don't want to have put effort and thought into arranging it all only to end up upsetting or offending someone by it arriving late.

Same here. I think it's a poor show to forget people, especially when they never forget you.

As I said, the hypocrisy is what is the worst. Several family members are always late, but whine and moan if people are late for them! It annoys me that my mother excuses them a bit too, by saying 'ooh, they're busy,' like I am not! :rotfl:

jayII

I usually manage to get things there on time, but occasionally forget to buy things until the last minute, then it's at the whim of Royal mail if my card or package gets there on time. I'm on time with people who live/work near me.


I'm not bothered in the least if cards/gifts to me are late. I never assume I'll get anything anyway and don't see cards/gifts as an entitlement, so I'm grateful for anything I receive.


I know my friends and family love and care for me from their behaviour towards me, and that means more than any 'things' they could buy/give me.

stormbreaker

Oh dear. I haven't read all the threads here, but I am always late. Especially with second cousins.

I was always on time and they always got a gift, not just money or a cheque stuffed in an envelope.

Sadly that all changed after my father died. He died in the February and I thought my cousins birthday was late March. When I was confirming the date with my mum, his birthday, was early March and had long past. Sadly this trend has continued.

I always say that I think of them even more as I know that they have an outstanding present due (I rarely see these cousins).

After this year all will change as we have decided now most of them are over 21 and some are in long term relationships the present giving is going to stop.

I hope then to always be in time with their cards.

I should add that I don't get anything from them or expect anything. My sons get from their parents.

I truly don't mind if things are late and don't make a fuss whether I get something or not.

sweetilemon

I would not mind at all - nice little surprise actually when you think it's all over. Exception would be my husband - would never give his late or expect to receive it late. I have sent friends cards late - i work a lot and sometimes just run out of time to post it ( often when I've bought it ages in advance!). Have my mother in laws christmas card here despite writing it in November and seeing them christmas day - sometimes if I forget once the time just passes!