Late cards and gifts from people

fierystormcloud

An insult?

An afterthought?

Or are you glad to receive something at all?

Or are YOU the one who is guilty of sending stuff late?

This was a debate at work this week; a few people didn't care, most were annoyed with late cards and gifts and a few actually sent them late themselves! The majority though (said it was rude, and poor etiquette to send late cards and/or gifts.)

It makes me furious. I have 4 sisters, and 2 of them always get cards and gifts to us 2-5 days late for our birthday; yet they know the date of our birthday and have all year to get something.

Some of my OH's family is the same; always late with stuff.

But God forbid WE give any of them their cards or gifts late: our name is run into the floor!

Personally I do not want an afterthought, and find a late card or gift and insult (as I said, people know your birthday way in advance.) And I know people have busy lives and other family to think of, but so do we!!!

So what are people views?

Turtle

I don't send cards or gifts late but it doesn't bother me in the slightest if I receive them late. There's a lot more important stuff to worry about in my opinion.

gardner1

Sister in-law sends cards and presents late normally 1-2 weeks......what she sends gets recycled as its always naff

swingaloo

I quite agree, I have a sister who is just the same, her birthday is a big deal and she reminds everyone constantly in the week leading up. Quite why she does this I don't know as her birthday has been on the same date for 46 years!


She is the same with her kids birthdays and there has to be fuss and cards on display with Happy Birthday banners on the front door even though both kids are now in their teens.


She not too clever with other peoples cards or pressies though. Last year my card was 2 days late as she 'remembered earlier in the week then forgot' ????


This year my she came round with my card on the day and made a big thing about not being late this year. It was however 9.45pm when she delivered it, on her way back from the cinema. Why bother, my birthday was nearly over.


I don't want a card that's 3 days late, whats the point.

browneyedbazzi

Cards and gifts are a nice gesture but certainly not an entitlement. Tbh I think the only correct response to receiving a card or gift is to be grateful and appreciate that someone has gone to the trouble /expense to recognise whatever the occasion is. Getting upset about something being late seems rather petulant.

Jagraf

Doesn't bother me either way. I know he people who care, I'm no bothered about a bit of card.

In fact, its good to celebrate life, not the date of your birth IMO.

swingaloo

Oh it doesn't upset me, if I never got a card I wouldn't be bothered in the slightest. Its the double standard that gets to me, everyone is expected to push the boat out for a birthday at her house but everyone else's birthday is an afterthought. Its not just me, we are a large family and its the same for all of us.


Im not being ungrateful, I would be fine with getting no card but I cant see the point in bringing one round 2 days late. If its not important enough to be bothered on the day then don't get one at all. Its like going through the motions for the sake of it.

fierystormcloud

swingaloo wrote: »

I quite agree, I have a sister who is just the same, her birthday is a big deal and she reminds everyone constantly in the week leading up. Quite why she does this I don't know as her birthday has been on the same date for 46 years!

She is the same with her kids birthdays and there has to be fuss and cards on display with Happy Birthday banners on the front door even though both kids are now in their teens.

She not too clever with other peoples cards or pressies though. Last year my card was 2 days late as she 'remembered earlier in the week then forgot' ????

This year my she came round with my card on the day and made a big thing about not being late this year. It was however 9.45pm when she delivered it, on her way back from the cinema. Why bother, my birthday was nearly over.

I don't want a card that's 3 days late, whats the point.

swingaloo wrote: »

Oh it doesn't upset me, if I never got a card I wouldn't be bothered in the slightest. Its the double standard that gets to me, everyone is expected to push the boat out for a birthday at her house but everyone else's birthday is an afterthought. Its not just me, we are a large family and its the same for all of us.

Im not being ungrateful, I would be fine with getting no card but I cant see the point in bringing one round 2 days late. If its not important enough to be bothered on the day then don't get one at all. Its like going through the motions for the sake of it.

Glad it's not just me.

It doesn't upset me, it makes me angry because THEY kick off if theirs are late.

And I agree, saying someone is ungrateful because they are cheesed off with cards being late is just ridiculous. Do people actually think about what they are saying before they click 'post?' Or do they do it just to be deliberately provocative?!

baza52 wrote: »

A late card is better than no card at all.

You sound quite ungrateful.

Have you told your sisters how much it upsets you?

It is possible to reply without provocative personal attacks you know. Or are you in the 'always send late cards' camp, and my thread has hit a raw nerve? :rotfl:

And no I have not mentioned it to them. Why should I? Thing is, when we send stuff late to them or their family, they kick off.

maman

Feeling really guilty now!:o


Posted a card to a friend this afternoon (missed post) so it'll definitely be late for her Monday birthday.


Personally I'd rather send a card late (and receive one) than not at all. I think I'm going to take a leaf out of a friend's book and send them early and write 'not to be opened until xx' on the envelope. Could get away with 2nd class stamp too.:D


With presents I just give them when I get to see the friend/family in person so sometimes very late.


I'm a bit miffed with DD2 who's posted presents this week for my birthday and Mothers' Day. I'll see her in a week's time but tomorrow is apparently about making sure her MIL has a good time (again).

fierystormcloud

maman wrote: »

Feeling really guilty now!:o


Posted a card to a friend this afternoon (missed post) so it'll definitely be late for her Monday birthday.


Personally I'd rather send a card late (and receive one) than not at all. I think I'm going to take a leaf out of a friend's book and send them early and write 'not to be opened until xx' on the envelope. Could get away with 2nd class stamp too.:D


With presents I just give them when I get to see the friend/family in person so sometimes very late.


I'm a bit miffed with DD2 who's posted presents this week for my birthday and Mothers' Day. I'll see her in a week's time but tomorrow is apparently about making sure her MIL has a good time (again).

Ooops :rotfl:

At least you do feel a bit bad about it.

What annoys me about it, is that they whinge and kick off if someone else send their cards or gifts late, but they do it all the time. Their excuse is that they are 'busy.' Like nobody else is!!!

And as I said, they know when our birthdays are, and yet the cards are always late. Sometimes up to a week late. As someone said above, if you can't get it to me on time, when you know the date, and have a YEAR to buy and sent a card, then don't bother. It's an insult. Oh yes, and do NOT slag me off if I send one late to you!

As I said, at least two thirds of us at work thought the same. That it's bad etiquette and plain rude.

:mad:

Jagraf

You can get some really nice email versions nowadays.

But then I suppose one can't count it on their mantelpiece :rotfl: