Terrible Anxiety about House/Area

supermassive

Sounds like you live in my town haha Unfortunately it's never going to be something that has a solution other than leaving.

aileth

I have to say as well, the slightly 'rougher' areas tend to have a strong community spirit, and as with many cats they won't sh*t in their own territory, so they aim for the better off areas to burgle/cause trouble.

My parents used to live in a really middle class area which bordered one of the worst areas in the city. The 'bad' area had a very low crime rate apart from anti-social behaviour, whereas the burglary rate in the 'good' area was sky high. They all walked across the street, broke into the nice homes, as they knew they would get way better loot and weren't disrupting their own 'community'!

carefullycautious

Many years ago I worked in a similar situation but as I lived 15 miles away the time it took me to get home was my relaxation time. I would listen to soothing music or 'The Archers' and had calmed down by the time I had got home. I know many social workers who would not live in the areas that they worked for just the reasons you are citing.


I so understand the anxiety though about life in general. I think we all worry about what we see and hear about our local areas so you are not alone in this.


It almost feels like we are all trying to escape to a better utopia due to anti social neighbours etc. For many of us it is not possible, so tricks like the relaxation tapes etc can help. You need some separation from work and home mentally to make it work.

Bobarella

I had a similar experience. We bought a flat in 2004 in a quiet street in South London. It was heaven. We had lovely neighbours and the community feeling was wonderful. Fast forward to 2007 & with starting a family in mind we decided to go for it when a wreck of a house came up further down the street. Alarm bells should have sounded when we got there and met who we took to be the owner. He was unstable to say the least. The estate agent glossed over him though and we were excited by the size of the property for the money. It needed a lot of work. Had a hole in the ceiling of the kitchen with water running down the chimney breast and various other big issues. We made an offer that day then heard nothing.
A few months went by and we saw nothing else at an affordable level and just decided to put our dreams on hold. Finally the estate agent rang us. The sale on the house had fallen through and did we want to go in with our offer again? Of course we did!
On the day we were due to move in, the occupant, who turned out to be the alcoholic son of a deceased owner, was still in residence. It took a day further for the estate agent to get rid. When we did try to move in their was still furniture everywhere so we couldn't. The estate agent had to organise a house clearance company. We finally moved in 2 full days after we started paying the mortgage there.
So far so crap.
One morning about a week into it we had a lot of white goods delivered of course you never get to choose the time so the van arrived at 7 am clattering and going with trollies unloading fridges freezers washing machines etc. We then became aware of the council tenant living next door. We had no idea it was a council property. She was an absolute menace. She came out shouting and swearing at the delivery men for making so much noise.
Noise remained her key theme for the next 2 years. She would beat on the adjoining wall if we even flicked the kettle on in the morning, with what sounded like a sledge hammer. The stress and anxiety I suffered living in that house was immense. I tiptoed up the stairs, parked anywhere but in front of her house, stopped friends coming to stay, basically was a wreck. 2 police visits & a court case later the council finally gagged her with a minimum behaviour contract whereby if she had any contact with us including the banging she could finally be evicted. We managed to use this document to finally seal a sale on the house (we lost many others because of that woman) & we left.
It has scarred me for life. 3 years on I barely know the name of a neighbour on our new street and I keep my head down and get on with life as discreetly as I can.
I I would say get out now whilst you can. Mental health is too important to put financial gain first. I only wish someone had warned us of the set up at our place. But hindsight is a useless thing.

ljonski

Without following the thread , i would say that you need to make your own home in true English style your castle. This is where you live and where you and your partner are King and Queen of all you survey. you are safe there, knowing that whatever is happening outside , can stay outside.

There is undoubtedly other people in your street with the same outlook in life and if you could connect with them like in the very old days of street communities , you may be able to look after each other's welfare.

You do an admirable job and i know how emotionally exhausting it is and you will definitely need time away from your house to recover your inner strenghs. If you could spend time away on a break somewhere , knowing that there are people in your street that are looking after your property whilst you are away, then this would be a great thing.
Best wishes

ljonski

Jagraf

Move. Life is too short x

squirrelchops

I work in a similar field and would never entertain working in the borough in which I lived.

This works 2 ways as I am sure my clients don't want to see me whilst they're in the pub/out shopping/at the hairdressers as much as I don't want to see them!

To be honest, surely this should have been a key consideration when you first decided to purchase a house?

It is never as hard dealing with people who could be your clients, but aren't as you are in another borough than those who could be walking in to your office the following week.

I would move if I were you.

TBagpuss

I agree with those saying that this sounds more as though it stems from your job, than from the house itself, and it would certainly be worth your exploring with your GP the possibility of addressing the anxiety.

That said, I also think it would be worth looking at moving so you do not live in the immediate area where you work: I used to be in a similar job, dealing with people who had very chaotic lives, and was all too aware of the issues which drugs, alcohol abuse, crime and mental illness played in their lives. I did not live in the same area as the majority of my clients and while the area I did live in had at least as many problems (probably more) I was one step removed and it wasn't such a strain. I also didn't have to worry about clients or ex clients seeing me around and about and learning where I lived.

I think it may be worth looking at the possibility of moving. Perhaps plan to do up the house and move in another year or so?

And address the specific concerns - if you are worried about break ins, get a burglar alarm. You may not *need* it, but f uit helps you with the anxiety it is worth doing.

However, i suspect that you may find that it simply shifts the anxiety (as you've said, the house is safe, you have not had any break ins or other problems) so it is worth focusing on the root cause, rather than the symptoms.