Do you put in for coworker's presents?

DFlights

Not quite the same thing, but I once worked in a factory where we were forced to go on day trips. It was either to a theme park or to the beach. Sounds nice? No, not with the b!tchy, gossipy, cliquey and generally unpleasant people I had to work with!
And yes, by forced I mean, not physically, but we were told in no uncertain terms that we couldn't take either paid or unpaid leave for the (work) day it was organised, and anyone not turning up would be disciplined for absenteeism without permission. Then when we all grudgingly showed up, we were herded onto a coach and had a long journey from Leicester to wherever it was we were going - last one was Skegness. Because sitting in a giant tin can with people you don't like for a few hours is of course, so much fun!
I really don't understand these enforced "traditions" of giving money for collections, having to go on outings/nights out, etc.
These days I'm a stronger person and would refuse such silliness, but way back when I worked in this factory, I was a very insecure, timid person, so had to endure some terrible days out!

alleycat`

It's one of my pet peeves at work.

Collections for people i don't know and "chugging" (charity mugging).

It's always the same group of people that organize these events and they always get the hump when i try to politely explain i don't know x,y or z or i prefer to pick my own charity choices to donate to and not the ones they wish to "support".

I go to work to do a job of work, not to be part of a social scene.

That doesn't mean i won't put in for people i actually "work" with but not for random person number 7 who might not even really exist.

And breathe.
Sorry sounded a right bah humbug for a second

As to the OP. Give what you think is appropriate for the right people. Anyone else politely decline. If they become pushy tell them where the door is.

hazyjo

We buy cakes when it's our birthdays - let me rephrase that, some of us buy cakes. Unfortunately some see it as beneath them so never buy a thing, despite earning £100s of thousands. I wouldn't mind, but they're not 'too important' to get up off their !!!!!! and walk to a kitchen at the other end of the building and take cake which someone else has bought. Grrrr.


I always used to put in a pound or two for presents. We do collections for babies, weddings, big birthdays, leaving, etc. I now only put in for those I like (obviously saved me a fortune ) as I have realised just how tight everyone else is, plus I think I'm actually starting to 'strongly dislike' quite a few people here.


I always used to buy a box of chocs at Christmas to put next to my desk for people to help themselves to as I don't buy Christmas presents for people I work for (about 12, some shared with another girl). That is until I realised they each only put a fiver in for our presents, and the partner I work for sends his wife out (she also works here - a lawyer) to buy my perfume. The bottle (Ghost) gets smaller each year - so much so, I'm wondering if last year's was actually a travel size. He earns a bomb and is rumoured to take a million a year in bonuses.


I no longer care if people think I'm not generous, bitter, or selfish. Sod the lot of 'em. Not entirely sure why I should spend a fiver on chocs out of my wages when I probably earn a tiny fraction of what most of them do and they only spend a fiver each on me. I know it's not about giving to receive, but I am just slightly peed off here at the moment. (Someone totally ignored me in a corridor yesterday and said hello to someone behind me (both lawyers). If they want to treat me like a second class citizen (actually not even quite as high as that), I have zero respect for any of them. ARGHHHH! GET ME OUT OF HERE!)


Jx

lulu_92

My pet peeve about it is people who will happily help themselves to whatever is in our "snack area" (an unused desk) but will never bring in things themselves. We do something at Christmas where everyone brings in food. Two girls were amongst the ones who didn't yet were the ones taking the most food. One of them got chocolates for Secret Santa and put them on the table as her "contribution"!!

For me it is about the money as the people I work with work nearby and it is so much cheaper to live around there than where I do, so they have more money to spend on these things, and I am not moving up there for many reasons.

I am so happy that I'm not actually some horrible skinflint, and other people share my reservations.

PasturesNew

I used to find ways to skip it if I didn't really know the person/care. If you're never ill and not going to be leaving and won't be getting engaged, then married, then popping out kids, it can seem you're forever forking out for other people's lives.

hazyjo

We're 'expected' to buy the bloody card too. Always a fiver for a large card in town. I now take the change from the collection. If it's to buy the present, it's to buy the poxy card too IMO. Can you tell I'm not happy today lol.

Jx

arbrighton

I was guilt tripped into giving for leaving collections for people who were leaving after me- the envelope was held in front of me until I found my purse!

balletshoes

lulu_92 wrote: »

It seems that every week there's a birthday, baby or wedding announcement that is emailed to people asking to put money in for a present.

What are your thoughts on this? Do you always give or do you reserve it for the people you're closer to?

I've been in my job for a year(ish) and I work in an office of about 30-40 people, split into 5 departments. There's an entire corner of the office that I have never spoken to before. I think I've given three times, but they were all in my department and was about 2 or 3 months between each. I can't really afford to put in for every present, as much as I'd like to. (I put 40% of my monthly wage into savings, 50% goes on my share of household bills and I keep 10% for myself - I'm perfectly happy with this arrangement as I am saving for house/family/because I can), so maybe I've got it wrong?

i work in a huge office - we only do significant birthdays collections (ie 21, 60). I only give to those collections if I actually know the person or work closely with them. Same with retirements and weddings/people going off on maternity leave.

balletshoes

lulu_92 wrote: »

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who realises it's a lot of money. I give what I can but I'd rather put the money towards my savings.

There's also nights out and meals and parties, probably 3 times a month and I don't really want to go them for financial and personal reasons, yet I feel like I have to give justification for not going.

nope, don't do them either - I do the xmas lunch one, and will chip in if we're having a workplace buffet for someone on my team's significant birthday, but thats about it really.

brightonman123

I would only chip in for someone in my team, or for a 'big' event- wedding, retirement / leaving pressie, and only if I know ther person.


can get out of hand, otherwise.