Do you put in for coworker's presents?

Goldiegirl

Where I used to work, there always seemed to be collections for people, some of whom I hadn't ever spoken to. I used to limit my contributions to collections for people in my team, otherwise it was too much.

I was happy to go out for the odd lunch with my team, but I never attended any evening outings. It is a bit difficult, as you feel you have to justify yourself, but I just used to say 'no thanks', and left it like that.

I also hated the 'chugging' on charity days. That slightly aggressive rattling of the charity collecting bucket always used to grate on my nerves! I used to make a contribution, but that bucket rattling used to get my goat!

carmina_piranha

I wouldn't want to contribute to birthdays, there would be one every week! Bringing in your own cakes on your birthday sounds good though.

Christmas is okay, secret santa with a limit of a fiver can be fun and we can opt out if we wish to.

Everything is voluntary where I work - a note or email says where the collection envelope is, and nobody would know if we donated or not. Trips are voluntary too, and there's no grumpiness about it, unlike my husband's job where attendance is expected.

bylromarha

I'm a primary school teacher. Old school we had envelopes in the staff room to contribute to. New school, they send kids round with envelopes and tick your name when you put in. Hate it - especially as the expectation is that you will contribute, even though some of these people don't know your name!

To add to it, I'm quiet about my birthday, so never get anything myself - which I'm fine with, but no-one has even bothered to ask the date!

fierystormcloud

lulu_92 wrote: »

The worst one was the Christmas party. it was another 20 miles from my work which is 30 miles away so it's not like I could drink, plus I had a very genuine reason for not wanting to go. I told someone I wasn't going and it was like I'd kicked their dog. I could have told them the reason which I know would have made them feel bad but why should I have to? I just wish I worked in an environment where you can say "no thanks" and not have to justify it.

DFlights wrote: »

Not quite the same thing, but I once worked in a factory where we were forced to go on day trips. It was either to a theme park or to the beach. Sounds nice? No, not with the b!tchy, gossipy, cliquey and generally unpleasant people I had to work with!

And yes, by forced I mean, not physically, but we were told in no uncertain terms that we couldn't take either paid or unpaid leave for the (work) day it was organised, and anyone not turning up would be disciplined for absenteeism without permission. Then when we all grudgingly showed up, we were herded onto a coach and had a long journey from Leicester to wherever it was we were going - last one was Skegness. Because sitting in a giant tin can with people you don't like for a few hours is of course, so much fun!

I really don't understand these enforced "traditions" of giving money for collections, having to go on outings/nights out, etc.

These days I'm a stronger person and would refuse such silliness, but way back when I worked in this factory, I was a very insecure, timid person, so had to endure some terrible days out!

I can relate to these 2 posts.

Firstly re Lulu's post. My husband currently works in a job where he does alternate shifts: one week he does 10pm to 7am and the next he does 2pm till 11pm. He does an average 36-37 hour week, and the days vary.

Anyway, most of the others work mornings or days, and they keep having outings, (about once every 6 weeks,) for someone's birthday, or someone's hen night, or someone's leaving party, or for St Patrick's or St George's or the Easter meal or the Christmas meal, and sometimes they have a 'team-building meal' (teamwork makes the dream work *vomit* )

He gets virtually bullied into going, and 2 out of 3 times, they do it on a night when he is in work, (and it usually ends up when he is on the 2pm till 11pm shift, or occasionally the night shift,) so he either has to book the night off (and lose a day of his annual leave!) OR he has to lose a night's pay! Then he has to pay for the meal, and also has to do a 50 mile round trip to get there, as we live 25 miles away from his workplace.

And because he has to drive there and back, he can't drink. If he wants to drink, then I have to take him, and fetch him back (so 100 mile round trip in total, £12-£13 worth of petrol, and 2.5 to 3 hours of time spent driving, so he can go to a meal he didn't want to go to, with people he doesn't like, and lose a day's pay or a day's holiday leave into the bargain!

He was told a few months ago, that the 'team-building' meals out are compulsory! A night out with 'the team,' lost holiday leave, petrol wasted, 3 hours of time wasted from me, (driving there and back and there and back!) 4-5 hours wasted for him sat there in a place he would rather not be! And all so his manager can talk at him and his pals for the evening about how the team need to pull together! :mad:

In addition, twice a month, they have meetings (1-2 hours long) in the morning EVERY TIME, and expect my husband to go, when he has been on nights from 10pm to 7am, and the meeting is 11.30am. So he either has to hang around for four hours, or go home (25 miles,) get in at half seven ish, go to bed for 2-2.5 hours, then get up, drive 25 miles back for the 11.30am meeting, stay there til 1pm, drive back (25 miles again!) go to bed til 6pm ish, then get up, have some food, and get ready for work again.

He gets paid for the 1 to 1.5 hours of the meeting, but not for the time wasted getting there and back, or the time wasted, waiting for the meeting (if he were to hang around after his night shift til 11.30am!) If he is on the afternoon shift, he needs to go in 2 hours early to get to the meeting, and his working day lasts from about 10.30am to midnight then he gets home!

When it is a day off, he is still expected to go in! His manager says other people do, but they only live a mile away! Even so, it is unfair, as I think they should do it when the staff member is on shift.

I have no idea why he tolerates this, and on several occasions this past half a year, he has just not turned up, and has said he forgot, or he said he is ill.

He has done this job 7 years, and it's just since the new manager came in (2 years ago) that it's been like this. It's getting worse with every passing month.

Also, re: 'D flight's' comments, I also used to be in jobs when I was a bit younger, where I felt coerced and bullied and harangued into socialising, and I was made to feel bad if I didn't join in. I had many a miserable night out with loud people I didn't want to be with, and I was always the one talked over, and I used to sit in the corner, quiet and alone, with my drink. Not now though, since I left my 20s, I am a bit more assertive.

The workplace is such a horrid place sometimes!

FatVonD

DFlights wrote: »

Not quite the same thing, but I once worked in a factory where we were forced to go on day trips. It was either to a theme park or to the beach. Sounds nice? No, not with the b!tchy, gossipy, cliquey and generally unpleasant people I had to work with!
And yes, by forced I mean, not physically, but we were told in no uncertain terms that we couldn't take either paid or unpaid leave for the (work) day it was organised, and anyone not turning up would be disciplined for absenteeism without permission. Then when we all grudgingly showed up, we were herded onto a coach and had a long journey from Leicester to wherever it was we were going - last one was Skegness. Because sitting in a giant tin can with people you don't like for a few hours is of course, so much fun!
I really don't understand these enforced "traditions" of giving money for collections, having to go on outings/nights out, etc.
These days I'm a stronger person and would refuse such silliness, but way back when I worked in this factory, I was a very insecure, timid person, so had to endure some terrible days out!

That sounds like my idea of IBS hell, being stuck on a coach for hours with your workmates and no loo (or worse still, with a loo in close proximity to your workmates :eek: ) there's no way I'd have gone and I would have told them why too

FatVonD

Re the OP, in my job a few years back I put the kibosh on birthday collections and always made it known that whoever got me for secret Santa was to buy me a pair of M&S black woolly tights and not waste the money on rubbish.

Where I'm working at the moment thankfully they only buy a card but at my last job I was initially freelance and put in so as not to rock the boat but after noticing a junior member only putting in what she could afford I though 'good for you' and would just put in 50p unless it was someone I considered a friend.

Izadora

lulu_92 wrote: »

My pet peeve about it is people who will happily help themselves to whatever is in our "snack area" (an unused desk) but will never bring in things themselves.

That's something which really winds me up as well and I've found that in my place the people who are always first up when there's free food about are the same ones that never, ever bring anything in.

I bake quite a lot and tend to take any leftovers into work but got so sick of the same couple of grabby people always getting everything that I've started waiting until they're out of the office before putting anything in the kitchen

heartbreak_star

I put in a token 50p-£1 unless it's someone I like. We do significant birthdays and life events.

Normal birthdays just get a card and you bring cakes in on your own birthday.

HBS x

lulu_92

It seems at work that a fiver is the minimum. I'm sorry but I don't even spend that much on my step-siblings for their birthdays.

LutonGirl

Where I worked years ago, when it was a more formal working environment, the dreaded envelope would come around with a list stapled to the front where you were obliged to put your initials and an indication of how much money you'd put in. I refused to say how much I'd put in each time and others soon followed suit.

At another job, in a much larger place, we used to say "I don't like [insert name] but I'll give you 10p if I can sign the card!