Renovations and Repayments.

newgirly

Yes it's fine now

Sorry tired and didn't notice the above post!

AlexLK

Thanks both.

We've decided to send the £250 overpayment. Next week is likely to not cost quite so much as this week and I have plans to be working a lot more when my son goes back to school. Should it end up being an expensive one, we'll borrow a little money from our savings and I'll make sure I pay it back with my income over September. Can't see that being the case but I'm pleased my wife and I have, for once, had a civilised adult discussion about this and come to an agreement.

A few years back she'd have refused to discuss money at all because I was meant to be the one that dealt with the finances. That went well, didn't it? After my failures, she then decided that her income was HER money and nothing to do with me which didn't work out particularly well either. Now we're trying to be grown up about this and discuss any 'big' things (purchases, mortgage overpayments, renovations etc.) before taking action. It's working.

Did have a meal out tonight and a (free) trip to two garden centres with aquariums.

maman

AlexLK wrote: »

Thanks both.

We've decided to send the £250 overpayment. Next week is likely to not cost quite so much as this week and I have plans to be working a lot more when my son goes back to school. Should it end up being an expensive one, we'll borrow a little money from our savings and I'll make sure I pay it back with my income over September. Can't see that being the case but I'm pleased my wife and I have, for once, had a civilised adult discussion about this and come to an agreement.

A few years back she'd have refused to discuss money at all because I was meant to be the one that dealt with the finances. That went well, didn't it? After my failures, she then decided that her income was HER money and nothing to do with me which didn't work out particularly well either. Now we're trying to be grown up about this and discuss any 'big' things (purchases, mortgage overpayments, renovations etc.) before taking action. It's working.

Did have a meal out tonight and a (free) trip to two garden centres with aquariums.

You've come a long way with the finances Alex (and other things at the same time). Well done!:T


You're not planning to buy fish are you!:eek:

smallholdingsister

Have a great bank holiday, Alex.

AlexLK

maman wrote: »

You've come a long way with the finances Alex (and other things at the same time). Well done!:T

You're not planning to buy fish are you!:eek:

Thanks. Things are beginning to be a lot better.

Maybe. We're just looking into it at the moment and weighing up the options (tropical / marine), my son really likes them (so do Mrs K and I). It appears watching videos about coral reefs on youtube with a five year old is potentially damaging to the finances!

IIRC someone on here keeps fish?

smallholdingsister wrote: »

Have a great bank holiday, Alex.

Had a wonderful (if expensive and somewhat gluttonous) bank holiday.

We've covered over 250 miles today going to see a large aquatics shop, followed by dinner out, a walk along the river and an evening spent driving around in one of our old cars.

Last week of silliness then it's back to reality for all of us! :eek:

Debsnewbudget

Edinburger used to spend a lot of time cleaning out fish tanks ......
If you do decide, then it might be worth looking on eb@y local for some going very cheap as it seems to be a phase that most go through !

AlexLK

Debsnewbudget wrote: »

Edinburger used to spend a lot of time cleaning out fish tanks ......
If you do decide, then it might be worth looking on eb@y local for some going very cheap as it seems to be a phase that most go through !

Thanks, Debs. We're at the research stage for the moment.

AlexLK

Today is apparently my third anniversary on MSE. :eek:

Had a quiet day today working on the house, so little money spent. Did buy a nice pen which will probably be enjoyed for a few months before I sell on. My hoarding tendencies do seem to be gradually slipping away but I have no desire to give up buying nice things.

Father called, apparently he and mother would like to spend a day with us before their grandson goes back to school. He once again asked us to go over there for dinner. Really not sure what to do as he says they want to see us but I don't want to go back on my word. :mad:

A_Frayed_Knot

:j Shiney new badge :T

As for your parents seeing DS before going back to school. You need to decide what is best for your DS and yourselves as a family, and if they have stewed long enough (can't remember how long it is since they last saw DGS) , have a chat with your DW, and if you decide to go, lay down the law long before, telling them that your DS must be encouraged and praised at what ever he does, that you want total co-operation from them to recover your DS's confidence, and any indication of anything other than praise and your off like a shot, and if you all decide not to go then they must wait till you feel the time is right.

Having said all that, I notice a huge improvement in both your outlook and postings and how so much happier you sound since the (disagreement/non communication, shall we say) with your parents. There is no way you want to go back to the old AlexLK, you are doing wonderfully well, only you and your family can decide. if not now, then later.

Must be the mood I'm in cause after all you've been put through, would normally say - keep away, but you sound so much stronger now :T and in a better place :j Well done you :A Keep up the good work:)and don't jeopardise it for anything or anyone.

maman

AlexLK wrote: »

Father called, apparently he and mother would like to spend a day with us before their grandson goes back to school. He once again asked us to go over there for dinner. Really not sure what to do as he says they want to see us but I don't want to go back on my word. :mad:

I take it from that you actually told them you were having a 'month off' rather than just something you resolved and kept to yourself.


If it was me I think I'd compromise and (given all the assurances of good behaviour that frayed knot outlines) not spend a whole day but go perhaps for an early dinner/high tea. That way it can't last too long and perhaps with a walk for the dog and a look at the model train the time would pass quickly.


I think in those circumstances they'd see it as a duty call from a well mannered son (which you are) rather than a climb down. After the visit then everything goes back to the new normal in that you only make short visits to discuss business and polite conversation and occasional dropping by with son and wife but your priorities and your every day life is with your wife and son.


While it would be good if your parents could apologise to your son for their appalling behaviour over the music or even the many years of berating you I don't think things should ever get back to how they were. If an apology is forthcoming then that's good but it doesn't turn the clock back. You've discovered that by keeping them at arm's length you can be happy and fulfilled in your own immediate family. Why risk that?


What does MrsK and LittleK think about visiting your parents?