Renovations and Repayments.

A_Frayed_Knot

AlexLK wrote: »

Had a good end to the week financially. Sold my old LR Discovery which has been sat doing nothing for a good few months now. Was sad to see it go as I've got a lot of good memories of that car but realise hoarding it for no reason is ridiculous. Better it goes to a new home. Next one to go will be the TR6. Found some motivation to sell some things we've come to the conclusion we no longer want or need.

Decluttering is going slowly but it is happening and getting rid of some of the "stuff" is actually rather pleasing. This likely sounds a bit "out there" but I'm feeling better for getting rid of things that held some memories of the past that I'd rather not be constantly reminded of. On the subject of the house, I slept well in Cornwall but don't here. Gally will have a field day with this but the bedroom in the cottage had some parcels of dried lavender. So, perhaps there's something there with the lavender idea, AFK.

Over these few days I've been thinking about Goldie's (and others) words on here. This is very pathetic but I suppose I just want to make my parents think I'm something other than simply a waste of time and money.

Gosh, there's just no stopping you now :A You've sold the LR Discovery and onto your next :T

I hate to say it but I think your holiday and - shall we say "disagreement" has actually done you the world of good.

I can't begin to tell you how happy I felt on reading your post above. So much for your challenges, I now think I may have just been a bit too "easy" on you :rotfl: I think you reading others diaries and comments has shown you a way forward. Decluttering at your own pace is excellent., your putting me to shame so my challenge for today is going to list at least 30 items on the bay :eek: And did read on here you had made an o/p :j

If you slept well on holiday but not at your own house, you could try to replicate the atmosphere in your own home and I hope you have ordered some Lavender, small price to pay if it actually works, I promise not to say "I told you so" :rotfl:

And you're anything but "a waste of time and money" Your wife and son, and everyone on here - all know that, we just have to try and convince you

tootallulah

Hi Alex I have been away from MSE for a few months - just catching up. I think that living without clutter makes a huge difference to well-being, I have been practising this too, and it has made me really like my house in a way i didn't before. I am pleased your own family is feeling happier.

Goldiegirl

AlexLK wrote: »

Over these few days I've been thinking about Goldie's (and others) words on here. This is very pathetic but I suppose I just want to make my parents think I'm something other than simply a waste of time and money.

That's rollocks !!


You're parents have made so many mistakes in the way they parented you..... and still continue to make the same mistakes to this very day.


But you are determined that you don't carry on the tradition, and parent your son in a completely different way, spending time with him and treating him with care and compassion. You deserve a massive pat on the back for that, for not perpetuating the mistakes of the previous generation. When you look at it that way, you are actually a credit to them.... although they'd never see it!


I'm glad you are thinking about what people have been saying. No one expects you to be able to change overnight, but I think it's helpful to consider views from people who aren't immediately involved

gallygirl

AlexLK wrote: »

Decluttering is going slowly but it is happening and getting rid of some of the "stuff" is actually rather pleasing. This likely sounds a bit "out there" but I'm feeling better for getting rid of things that held some memories of the past that I'd rather not be constantly reminded of. On the subject of the house, I slept well in Cornwall but don't here. Gally will have a field day with this but the bedroom in the cottage had some parcels of dried lavender. So, perhaps there's something there with the lavender idea, AFK.

:eek: Oh my goodness Alex, you've gone all 'woo woo' on us :rotfl:.

Goldiegirl wrote: »

That's rollocks !!


You're parents have made so many mistakes in the way they parented you..... and still continue to make the same mistakes to this very day.


But you are determined that you don't carry on the tradition, and parent your son in a completely different way, spending time with him and treating him with care and compassion. You deserve a massive pat on the back for that, for not perpetuating the mistakes of the previous generation. When you look at it that way, you are actually a credit to them.... although they'd never see it!


I'm glad you are thinking about what people have been saying. No one expects you to be able to change overnight, but I think it's helpful to consider views from people who aren't immediately involved

I agree with Goldie. You're a great father to your son DESPITE your upbringing, not because of it :T.

AlexLK

smallholdingsister wrote: »

Sorry Alex, I didn't mean you were idle.

I think you need a job that you got by merit which is just about you. I think this will help with your self esteem.

I understand now.

Doing a PCGE and going into teaching still crops up at the back of my mind on a regular basis, though I don't think I could do it full time. Both schools I'm involved with doing Music value me as a teacher. :eek: Yes, it's scary world we live in when I'm told I'm valued in a position that potentially influences others. It's a good job we're only talking about how to play a violin and recognising Bach from Beethoven, eh?

newgirly wrote: »

Morning Alex, hope you have a good Father's Day despite all the issues!

Well done selling stuff, you must being making a bit on the triumph selling it this time of year?

Yes, thank you. My son made a card. We went to the in-laws which was surprisingly nice. Lunch was at a nice pub and fortunately Mrs K's sister didn't stay for long (they really don't get on). Father-in-law was on his best behaviour for some reason and we had a rather pleasant conversation which must be a first. Mother-in-law gave us a bottle of wine to try, from Asda for under £5. Won some award and was nice enough that we've asked she buy another bottle for us.

TR should turn a profit, yes.

A_Frayed_Knot wrote: »

Gosh, there's just no stopping you now :A You've sold the LR Discovery and onto your next :T

I hate to say it but I think your holiday and - shall we say "disagreement" has actually done you the world of good.

I can't begin to tell you how happy I felt on reading your post above. So much for your challenges, I now think I may have just been a bit too "easy" on you :rotfl: I think you reading others diaries and comments has shown you a way forward. Decluttering at your own pace is excellent., your putting me to shame so my challenge for today is going to list at least 30 items on the bay :eek: And did read on here you had made an o/p :j

If you slept well on holiday but not at your own house, you could try to replicate the atmosphere in your own home and I hope you have ordered some Lavender, small price to pay if it actually works, I promise not to say "I told you so" :rotfl:

And you're anything but "a waste of time and money" Your wife and son, and everyone on here - all know that, we just have to try and convince you

Thank you.

:rotfl: Had no time for ebay today, AFK. 30 items is very ambitious, I take the time to embed pictures into the listing and write detailed advertisments, so it takes a long time.

No lavender bought, I'm yet to find the courage to tell Mrs K as she'll think it hilarious both that I noticed in Cornwall and that I want to try it.

OP made, hoping for a bigger one in July but it's £100 we'll never have to pay interest on, so I'm pleased.

A_Frayed_Knot

AlexLK wrote: »

I understand now.

Doing a PCGE and going into teaching still crops up at the back of my mind on a regular basis, though I don't think I could do it full time. Both schools I'm involved with doing Music value me as a teacher. :eek: Yes, it's scary world we live in when I'm told I'm valued in a position that potentially influences others. It's a good job we're only talking about how to play a violin and recognising Bach from Beethoven, eh?

So that's now your Wife, Son, everyone on here and now your colleagues at school, convinced yet?

Yes, thank you. My son made a card. We went to the in-laws which was surprisingly nice. Lunch was at a nice pub and fortunately Mrs K's sister didn't stay for long (they really don't get on). Father-in-law was on his best behaviour for some reason and we had a rather pleasant conversation which must be a first. Mother-in-law gave us a bottle of wine to try, from Asda for under £5. Won some award and was nice enough that we've asked she buy another bottle for us.

TR should turn a profit, yes.



Thank you.

:rotfl: Had no time for ebay today, AFK. 30 items is very ambitious, I take the time to embed pictures into the listing and write detailed advertisments, so it takes a long time.


Huh your telling me, I only managed to list 10 items, as got invite to brothers for dinner, well out of the way of listing items, takes me an age.

No lavender bought, I'm yet to find the courage to tell Mrs K as she'll think it hilarious both that I noticed in Cornwall and that I want to try it.


Don't mock it, till you've tried it - tell your wife how you would have liked Lavender such and such as a present for fathers day. Or another way would be to buy your wife some lovely lavender parcels as a surprise/reminder gift of the lovely holiday you all had, in the hope she'll leave them on the bedside tables :rotfl::cool:

OP made, hoping for a bigger one in July but it's £100 we'll never have to pay interest on, so I'm pleased.

This is what I tell myself every time an o/p is made


And, is it just me, as on reading your most recent posts, I do feel you are coming over as a much lighter "you" as if a weight has been lifted off your shoulders with a touch of wicked sense of humour in there too :rotfl:
Keep up the good work

AlexLK

tootallulah wrote: »

Hi Alex I have been away from MSE for a few months - just catching up. I think that living without clutter makes a huge difference to well-being, I have been practising this too, and it has made me really like my house in a way i didn't before. I am pleased your own family is feeling happier.

Hi.

Hope I can get to where you are with the decluttering. To be honest, I know I'm never going to be the most tidy person in the world but getting rid of the clutter / things no longer wanted / needed is certainly helping.

Goldiegirl wrote: »

That's rollocks !!

You're parents have made so many mistakes in the way they parented you..... and still continue to make the same mistakes to this very day.

But you are determined that you don't carry on the tradition, and parent your son in a completely different way, spending time with him and treating him with care and compassion. You deserve a massive pat on the back for that, for not perpetuating the mistakes of the previous generation. When you look at it that way, you are actually a credit to them.... although they'd never see it!

I'm glad you are thinking about what people have been saying. No one expects you to be able to change overnight, but I think it's helpful to consider views from people who aren't immediately involved

Thanks Goldie. I really try to be the best parent I can be. In recent years I've also tried to look out for my parents and make sure they're OK. I've been visiting them everyday, making lunch for them and listening to them. When my mother had a fall, I moved in for a little while in the knowledge it would be very difficult for my wife and son. I've also managed to get them to meet some other people of their age. I've done my best. Perhaps not good enough to others but I've tried my best which is never good enough. To be honest, I'm not sure what else I can do and am betrayed they couldn't respect my choice in how to discipline my son. Of course, in their mind my wife and I are "irresponsible" for having a child "too young" and that we can "ill afford".

A few years ago my father told me he regretted some of the past and wanted to move on. I sat through him crying about how he wished he'd been there more. Now I'm pathetic and a worthless good for nothing for doing just that. As much as I struggle with my in-laws they aren't like this with their children. Despite my father-in-law and I not seeing eye to eye on almost everything he told me that my son is an absolute credit to me. I know I need to learn to handle things better but I can't sleep at night for thinking about how to resolve things.

gallygirl wrote: »

:eek: Oh my goodness Alex, you've gone all 'woo woo' on us :rotfl:.

I agree with Goldie. You're a great father to your son DESPITE your upbringing, not because of it :T.

:rotfl: If "woo woo" means I'm not up at stupid-o'clock in a bad state, I'm quite happy to be labelled as such.

Thanks, Gally.

newgirly

Glad your day went well yesterday Alex.

As someone who started their family very young, I take offence at your dads comments your behalf! Being a good parent has nothing to do with age, there are as many good reasons to start younger as there are to start later in life.

Why do some parents feel like they have a right to voice option on every decision their adult offspring make? I try not to ever do that and mine are only in there teens still (plus at there stage in life they might be contrary just to annoy me anyway :rotfl:).

Well done decluttering, please come and sort out my kids room when you are done, thanks

gallygirl

AlexLK wrote: »

:rotfl: If "woo woo" means I'm not up at stupid-o'clock in a bad state, I'm quite happy to be labelled as such.

"Woo" and "woo woo" are joke terms used on the KonMari thread to describe the feelings you experience when you let 'stuff' go - physically and metaphorically. Joke terms - but the feelings are very real and I'm very glad you're experiencing them :T.

newgirly wrote: »

Why do some parents feel like they have a right to voice option on every decision their adult offspring make? I try not to ever do that and mine are only in there teens still (plus at there stage in life they might be contrary just to annoy me anyway :rotfl:).

Well said NG, I wouldn't dream of telling my children how to raise their offspring. Though so far that's only a grandcat, two grandbunnies and three grandchickens :rotfl:. It might be a different matter if proper little people were involved .

To be honest Alex your in-laws sound much better people to be around Little LK than your parents .

Are you planning another trip to see the ospreys?

LadyGnome

I think that clutter does weigh on you psychologically. It reminds you of unfinished business and jobs to do, so you can never relax when you know its there.


Mind you decluttering an entire LR is pretty good going!