Renovations and Repayments.

SingleSue

AlexLK wrote: »

Thank you for the message. I'm not offended at all (actually takes quite a lot ). Sorry to hear about your ex-husband. I'm starting to realise some people don't have family money and assets to rely on. Probably sounds a bit embarrassing but I never considered this until fairly recently.

I have recently come across a few people through my teaching who live in social housing and/or claiming government benefits who are decent people. However, I'm afraid to say the majority aren't. Always trying to be more tolerant but sometimes it's quite difficult especially when being called derogatory names by some pupils / parents.

I think I remember talking to you on here about your son studying Music before. Does sound like you've done really well with your children.

Certainly no family money here although we do ok but it is not embarrassing to say you had never considered it, before becoming a single parent, I was the most obnoxious, awful judgemental person you could ever imagine against single parents. You could say karma reared up and bit me on the bottom

I agree with you though with regards to a fair few of the other parents around here, education is not exactly at the top of their lists, either because they are the eeky kind or because they think that it is not something that their children could ever aspire to because of their start in life or because they think it is only something that 'posh' children are able to do. Most of them however have come from generations of families who have led the same life, I did not (very middle class upbringing, high rate tax payer in my pre children days then life went very badly wrong due to ilness and the old black dog thing :eek:)

However, I have been noticing a change just recently, more and more of the younger ones in our street are realising there is more to life, mainly brought on because they have seen two of mine go off to uni. All of a sudden, it is not an impossible dream for them, they realise that they too can have that experience and yes, they actually want it and are prepared to work hard for it.

I suppose another way to think about it is you think your life has been a failure, then mine has been an even bigger one. Just over 10 years ago I was part of a high earning couple, 23 years ago I was earning over 3 times that of my now ex husband who was on a perfectly normal salary for the time, was the main bread winner and we were owner occupiers...now I am on benefits in social housing.

I don't think like that anymore though, I look at the boys and I am proud of what I have achieved. We may not have that many pennies going spare but they are honest, well educated, decent young men who think of others and have a great work ethic, be that for education or for paid employment.

maman

AlexLK wrote: »

Well, I've updated the spreadsheet despite the money spent. Not looking great and a ???? Mrs K spend too. Will update the spreadsheet when the transaction amounts come through to the bank. Really not feeling good about the spreadsheet the moment it's not positive.

Curious how you managed a high spend if you've been teaching all day? And do hope ???? for MrsK isn't a 4 figure amount!:eek:

edinburgher

I think it's a wee bit embarrassing to say that you've honestly never considered the fact that other people don't inherit substantial sums of money. You're an intelligent guy, haven't you read newspapers etc. over the last decade or so?

LadyGnome

AlexLK wrote: »

Well, I've updated the spreadsheet despite the money spent. Not looking great and a ???? Mrs K spend too. Will update the spreadsheet when the transaction amounts come through to the bank. Really not feeling good about the spreadsheet the moment it's not positive.

Alex necessary spending isn't an issue, we all have to do it. Financial prudence is not the same as miserliness and parsimony. Sometimes the spreadsheet will seem to go in the wrong direction but if it is money that should be spent then be glad that you have the money organised so you can spend it. Also, some fun spending is OK too. I have a fund for days out, event tickets etc. and today I have spent £156 of it on tickets for an event that my two sons will love. I've had to reprioritise and reduce plans for some other outings because of it but I was so glad I was in the position to act on impulse and buy those tickets without impacting the overall direction of my MF journey.

My spreadsheet will take a hit in a couple of weeks when the CC bill with the tickets comes through but I am fine about that because I spent money for its intended purpose on something that will create family memories.

smallholdingsister

There's always some contention over here.

"If you do what you've always done, you will only get what you've always got"

Applies to both of us, I think.

AlexLK

maman wrote: »

Curious how you managed a high spend if you've been teaching all day? And do hope ???? for MrsK isn't a 4 figure amount!:eek:

Council tax, insuring one of the cars for the year, filling both tanks of the Jag and food.

:rotfl: ???? was not four figures! It was less than £10 on lunch.

AlexLK

A_Frayed_Knot wrote: »

There is always going to be days where the spend is high but tomorrow is another day and hopefully this is where a few nsd days (or low spend days) during the month help counteract the high spend days.

This is when I focus on clawing back my extra ££, my bonus from H@lid@x, the bay of e sales, surveys, bank interest, etc etc. - feel like that it's all "free" money :rotfl:

You've heard of Tilly's Tidies, at the end of each week, you could always tidy down your bank balances and o/p to your mortgage. It may only be a £5 or so, but over the month it will make a difference, doesn't suit everyone (by that I mean - me) but does suit some (most).

Just a thought, and when (once) the weather changes - get out there and get the car(s) glammed up

Had a low spend day today: £7.00.

The weather has been glorious and I make no apologies for enjoying it with my son after school - ice cream and boating. No car prep though.

As I get used to the spreadsheet I may start Tilly Tidies etc. want to get used to spreadsheet first, though. One thing at a time, Frayed Knot.

SingleSue wrote: »

Certainly no family money here although we do ok but it is not embarrassing to say you had never considered it, before becoming a single parent, I was the most obnoxious, awful judgemental person you could ever imagine against single parents. You could say karma reared up and bit me on the bottom

I agree with you though with regards to a fair few of the other parents around here, education is not exactly at the top of their lists, either because they are the eeky kind or because they think that it is not something that their children could ever aspire to because of their start in life or because they think it is only something that 'posh' children are able to do. Most of them however have come from generations of families who have led the same life, I did not (very middle class upbringing, high rate tax payer in my pre children days then life went very badly wrong due to ilness and the old black dog thing :eek:)

However, I have been noticing a change just recently, more and more of the younger ones in our street are realising there is more to life, mainly brought on because they have seen two of mine go off to uni. All of a sudden, it is not an impossible dream for them, they realise that they too can have that experience and yes, they actually want it and are prepared to work hard for it.

I suppose another way to think about it is you think your life has been a failure, then mine has been an even bigger one. Just over 10 years ago I was part of a high earning couple, 23 years ago I was earning over 3 times that of my now ex husband who was on a perfectly normal salary for the time, was the main bread winner and we were owner occupiers...now I am on benefits in social housing.

I don't think like that anymore though, I look at the boys and I am proud of what I have achieved. We may not have that many pennies going spare but they are honest, well educated, decent young men who think of others and have a great work ethic, be that for education or for paid employment.

Not really sure what to say, Sue. I'm sorry things have worked out the way they have re. the house etc.

edinburgher wrote: »

I think it's a wee bit embarrassing to say that you've honestly never considered the fact that other people don't inherit substantial sums of money. You're an intelligent guy, haven't you read newspapers etc. over the last decade or so?

This is probably even worse but I don't know how people manage, to be honest. However, I'm sure I'd have a better work ethic if it was a case of work hard or never have anything.

I'm fairly certain you're in a similar position re. family money; would you agree it's difficult to imagine being in a position where you are completely on your own financially speaking, no inheritance, no fall back / help? That's what I meant by not considering.

AlexLK

LadyGnome wrote: »

Alex necessary spending isn't an issue, we all have to do it. Financial prudence is not the same as miserliness and parsimony. Sometimes the spreadsheet will seem to go in the wrong direction but if it is money that should be spent then be glad that you have the money organised so you can spend it. Also, some fun spending is OK too. I have a fund for days out, event tickets etc. and today I have spent £156 of it on tickets for an event that my two sons will love. I've had to reprioritise and reduce plans for some other outings because of it but I was so glad I was in the position to act on impulse and buy those tickets without impacting the overall direction of my MF journey.

My spreadsheet will take a hit in a couple of weeks when the CC bill with the tickets comes through but I am fine about that because I spent money for its intended purpose on something that will create family memories.

Thanks, makes a lot of sense.

Is your motivation to keep records lower when you've spent though?

smallholdingsister wrote: »

There's always some contention over here.

"If you do what you've always done, you will only get what you've always got"

Applies to both of us, I think.

:rotfl: Well, I think that certainly applies to me.

Have to look at the bank before bed to update the spreadsheet and I'm not feeling great about it as I'm not thrilled with the figure I see staring back at me in my current account.

hiddenshadow

AlexLK wrote: »

Is your motivation to keep records lower when you've spent though?

No, because the choice (or necessity) to spend was conscious. You know that your bills/regular life expenses are X, you choose to spend Y on top of that for wants/fun things/etc, leaving you Z to save/invest/go on holiday with/whatever. Then when you get around to actually committing amounts X/Y/Z it's fine because you already knew those amounts/goals going in. And, if something comes up that takes X or Y over the amount you'd planned, you can re-jig the numbers and take some out of Y/Z to cover it.

In other words, you've already made a plan for your money for the month (or week, or year). You can adjust the plan as you go to account for unexpected/forgotten things, emergencies, can't-pass-up opportunities, etc. Once the plan is made, recording the spending is just the execution of the plan, no need for shame/blame/guilt.

I know I've already rambled on about YNAB but the beauty is really in the mindset more than the software: https://www.youneedabudget.com/learn/guide/prioritize Worth a read/watch of the videos. I don't know how much money we were frittering away on silly stuff before 2013, but now I can look at any month since then (when we started using YNAB) and - generally speaking at least - tell you what we spent when/where/why during that month. I may not love all the financial choices we've made in the last 3 years, but I'm aware of them and how/why we made them. And having to actively make the decision (this month: keep money sitting aside in savings accounts rather than mortgage OP to make up for lower-than-usual pay for me last month) makes it harder (for us, anyway) to just spend mindlessly and then regret not making any progress by the end of the month.

LadyGnome

My motivation is to make conscious spending decisions. Having money gives you choices and opportunities. I want my money to work for me to allow me to do what I want. I don't want the money to slip through my fingers on stuff that doesn't mean anything nor make my life comfortable. I don't mind paying for heating as I don't like being cold or tickets for the theatre or sports because I enjoy them but I don't like paying for a lunch in work that isn't really what I want because I couldn't be bothered to make something.