Renovations and Repayments.

smallholdingsister

Headteachers don't need a framework to get rid of teachers. They simply bully them for a bit and then offer a "compromise agreement".

cazmanian_minx

AlexLK wrote: »

Working very long hours tipped me over the edge and I've not had a "proper job" since but I appreciate some thrive on it. Therefore, I'll tell my son he should only do as much work as he wants to. If he choses not to work, so long as he's doing something he enjoys (and that isn't sitting around watching TV all day), he'll always be provided with an income.

I'm not sure that will go down too well with his employer when he gets his first Saturday job

This is something of a Devil's Advocate question, but how is that any different to a life on benefits other than it'll be you dishing out the allowance rather than the government?

edinburgher

This is something of a Devil's Advocate question, but how is that any different to a life on benefits other than it'll be you dishing out the allowance rather than the government?

If there's one thing that period dramas have taught me, it's that the two are exceedingly similar! :rotfl:

hiddenshadow

AlexLK wrote: »

I cannot see how you can combine all your errands into one day, if we're talking about buying food. When both my wife and I worked full time, we'd end up eating out about 3 times per week to get a good homecooked meal and live on salad for the rest of the time. My wife would buy food at lunchtime for home most days, though. Many people on here say they buy food for a week but personally, I don't find I want to eat it after about 2 days.

Don't personally bother with coupons but will have a quick look for vouchers. Recently saved £40 by using online codes to book a short stay in a spa hotel.

I wasn't necessarily suggesting that you do those things, more pointing out that you haven't considered them and some people have to because they have no choice. If you only have the time/money to shop once a week you don't get to turn up your nose at the food you've bought 2 days later.

Likewise with coupons - they're great and I always try and look for one when I'm buying something. I don't, however, spend more time than that (30 seconds?), whereas some people have to clip coupons/wait for sales/look for the best deals/etc because it's the only way they can afford whatever it is they need to buy.

SingleSue

AlexLK wrote: »

ETA: Some of the poor people's stories are rather profound but very sad. I know as a parent if my son were in the position of not being able to afford to eat properly, I'd step in. Truth be known I'd step in before then. I've considered my wife and I to have gone through being rather poor (people on the debt free board weren't too impressed by me saying that) but we've always had saleable assets. I don't think others necessarily have that but I cannot comprehend having no cash or assets. Beyond that I certainly cannot comprehend what kind of parent lets their son or daughter become so poor they have no roof over their head, drive an unroadworthy car and can't afford to feed themselves or forgo personal hygiene. It's abhorrent.

Sometimes though the parents can't afford to step in, they are helpless bystanders. Short of taking out a mortgage on their house (they have been mortgage free since 1975), my parents just didn't have the spare cash to bail us out and they still had other children to think about. Nor would I have wanted them to remortgage the house, it is their home and they had to think of their own security in the years to come.

Assets and cash - Hmm, I don't have any of those either! I used to though but my collection of rare books and other collectables had to be sold post divorce to allow us to pay the bills and eat.

Am I unhappy though? Nope. Do I blame my parents for not being able to help when we were losing the house? Nope.

They did what they could to help but the amounts were just too big for them to cover without putting themselves into financial trouble.

I am a proud person though, my parents are not aware of half the stuff I have done to make sure the boys have had food in the tummies and the bills paid (nothing illegal or eek! :rotfl:) and nor would I want to give them that stress and worry either.

newgirly

We also were in a worse state financially in the past , as sue said the kids always ate, but sometimes we would have potatoes and beans for a week so we could cover everything. My parents would have helped out if I had asked, but it probably would have been a loan and the last thing you need when in debt is to borrow more.

I didn't feel it was anyone else's business but ours, and the hard times defiantly have made us appreciate the good a lot more.

Havng said that, it goes without saying that I would be very hurt if I found out our kids were really struggling and didn't ask for help, although proud if they had found a way through it.

maman

AlexLK wrote: »

My problem with the current Ofsted / observation standards (from what I know which is likely very little) is the fact that they seem to be making "good" into "average". Surely "satisfactory" meets all requirements to a satisfactory or average level? Good therefore is above average. Whilst I do believe people should strive more than average, how can average be not good enough when considering the meaning of the word average or satisfactory in the first instance?

You're right it's crazy how Ofsted have effectively changed the meaning of the word so that satisfactory means not good enough.

AlexLK wrote: »

Working very long hours tipped me over the edge and I've not had a "proper job" since but I appreciate some thrive on it. Therefore, I'll tell my son he should only do as much work as he wants to. If he choses not to work, so long as he's doing something he enjoys (and that isn't sitting around watching TV all day), he'll always be provided with an income.

It's understandable that you'd feel protective towards a five year old Alex but I really would counsel against bringing him up with that idea.

AlexLK wrote: »

My current plan is to finally get a PhD in Music. It's something I've always wanted to do, I have an interesting topic in mind and it won't cause tension between my wife and I.

Would that be how to compose your magnum opus on an ipad!:rotfl:

AlexLK

cazmanian_minx wrote: »

I'm not sure that will go down too well with his employer when he gets his first Saturday job

This is something of a Devil's Advocate question, but how is that any different to a life on benefits other than it'll be you dishing out the allowance rather than the government?

edinburgher wrote: »

If there's one thing that period dramas have taught me, it's that the two are exceedingly similar! :rotfl:

:rotfl: Very funny, Ed.

I would expect my son to help with looking after family assets, so not exactly work free.

I will encourage him to try anything he wishes re. work / study, not going to tell him to just sit back.

hiddenshadow wrote: »

I wasn't necessarily suggesting that you do those things, more pointing out that you haven't considered them and some people have to because they have no choice. If you only have the time/money to shop once a week you don't get to turn up your nose at the food you've bought 2 days later.

Likewise with coupons - they're great and I always try and look for one when I'm buying something. I don't, however, spend more time than that (30 seconds?), whereas some people have to clip coupons/wait for sales/look for the best deals/etc because it's the only way they can afford whatever it is they need to buy.

Sorry, sometimes I don't really think before posting. It makes me sad to think there are people worse off than I leading me to deny the possibility and fail to be understanding. I possibly come across as being insensitive when I actually find it rather upsetting.

AlexLK

SingleSue wrote: »

Sometimes though the parents can't afford to step in, they are helpless bystanders. Short of taking out a mortgage on their house (they have been mortgage free since 1975), my parents just didn't have the spare cash to bail us out and they still had other children to think about. Nor would I have wanted them to remortgage the house, it is their home and they had to think of their own security in the years to come.

Assets and cash - Hmm, I don't have any of those either! I used to though but my collection of rare books and other collectables had to be sold post divorce to allow us to pay the bills and eat.

Am I unhappy though? Nope. Do I blame my parents for not being able to help when we were losing the house? Nope.

They did what they could to help but the amounts were just too big for them to cover without putting themselves into financial trouble.

I am a proud person though, my parents are not aware of half the stuff I have done to make sure the boys have had food in the tummies and the bills paid (nothing illegal or eek! :rotfl:) and nor would I want to give them that stress and worry either.

newgirly wrote: »

We also were in a worse state financially in the past , as sue said the kids always ate, but sometimes we would have potatoes and beans for a week so we could cover everything. My parents would have helped out if I had asked, but it probably would have been a loan and the last thing you need when in debt is to borrow more.

I didn't feel it was anyone else's business but ours, and the hard times defiantly have made us appreciate the good a lot more.

Havng said that, it goes without saying that I would be very hurt if I found out our kids were really struggling and didn't ask for help, although proud if they had found a way through it.

Sue and NG, I'm very sorry to read this. Don't really know what to say other than I hope you're not in such a situation again.

Actually feel a bit embarrassed about my parents paying my way when others have managed under much worse circumstances.

maman wrote: »

You're right it's crazy how Ofsted have effectively changed the meaning of the word so that satisfactory means not good enough.

It's understandable that you'd feel protective towards a five year old Alex but I really would counsel against bringing him up with that idea.

Would that be how to compose your magnum opus on an ipad!:rotfl:

Can't understand it at all re. satisfactory.

I never want my son to know what it's like to not want to live. My wife thinks I'm over protective as a result of this and she's probably right. If I had my way he wouldn't grow up to discover just how awful this world is.

Haha, very funny. :rotfl:

AlexLK

Updated my spreadsheet and spent the day with my wife and son. Done a lot of walking though my neck/shoulder pain hasn't got much better so not feeling great this evening. Wife has had a low spend week, hoping for similar next week but am not going to say anything to her about it.

Currently hardly think my financial "woes" matter when compared with some of the things said on here over the past few days. I've been guilty for saying derogatory things in the past about people less fortunate but this evening I'm wondering if for some it's hardly a choice and more a set of values indoctrinated from birth. After all, I know I share a lot of my views with my parents, whether I like it or not. However, I don't see how I can possibly make anything any better. This world all too often disturbs me and if God is really there why does he make people suffer and go without? I'm sure it's not based on whether or not a person deserves such a fate all the time; there are plenty of people with a lot acting in awful ways.