Renovations and Repayments.

gallygirl

AlexLK wrote: »

Suppose I don't think I do anything well, whether that be earning, keeping a house, looking after family etc. etc.

You're pretty good at feeling sorry for yourself Alex .

Seriously, you're in a very difficult position at the moment and I feel for you. I was also an only child and it is a very big burden to carry. Hopefully the noises you've made have been heard, sounds as if your mother at least has taken them on board. I hope the weather allows her to get out and about soon. Maybe longer term plans can be discussed when you have 'escaped' back home?

AlexLK

newgirly wrote: »

Well I Hope for everyone's sake your mum improves quickly then Alex, and I hope your ds goes off to school ok today

Thanks, NG.

Mother seems to be getting a little better everyday and I've managed to get a night off from playing Kapellmeister.

Wife took son to school and he stayed there all day. Apparently he's fine with her doing that but if I take that approach I'm a ******* for doing so? :rotfl: Obviously son wouldn't say such a thing but that's the type of reaction I get.

gallygirl wrote: »

You're pretty good at feeling sorry for yourself Alex .

Seriously, you're in a very difficult position at the moment and I feel for you. I was also an only child and it is a very big burden to carry. Hopefully the noises you've made have been heard, sounds as if your mother at least has taken them on board. I hope the weather allows her to get out and about soon. Maybe longer term plans can be discussed when you have 'escaped' back home?

To be honest, I'm cringing at what I posted last night (apologies to NG). Spent the whole night getting absolutely slaughtered, still a bit pished this morning and do need to grow up, really.

Mother has taken it on board. Father hasn't and is very upset about the thought of me going back home. Whilst I know he's not mentally ill, I do think I get a lot of my depressive traits from him.

Actually discussed money with my parents today, without asking for any. :cool: They're pleased that my wife and I no longer have any debts apart from the mortgage. Apart from them thinking we spend an "irresponsible" amount of money on petrol and things for our cars, they seemed quite impressed that we've sorted a lot of the spending problems out. Particularly impressed we're saving to sort the house and overpaying the mortgage. Never thought I'd hear my parents tell me they're "impressed" with how I handle my finances.

gallygirl

alexlk wrote: »

never thought i'd hear my parents tell me they're "impressed" with how i handle my finances.

Imagine there is a line of clapping smileys here as they won't post correctly

AlexLK

What does :t mean, Gally?

... Probably that you think my parents must be on drugs to be impressed with my finances. :rotfl: I have come a long way, though... do please tell me I've been a good boy.

maman

Sounds like you've had a much better day today Alex. Well done.

gallygirl

AlexLK wrote: »

What does :t mean, Gally?

Have amended it .

... Probably that you think my parents must be on drugs to be impressed with my finances. :rotfl:

:rotfl:

I have come a long way, though... do please tell me I've been a good boy.

Adequate Alex, adequate .


Oh all right then, you have indeed come a long way. I remember right at the beginning nagging you to open the CC bills :eek:.

littlegreenparrot

I just read this and thought you might find it helpful, as there are some strategies to help manage the behaviour.

Don't worry about him having a go, you'll probably find you are repeatedly accused of being a rubbish parent. Mostly when you say 'no' to something!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-vanessa-lapointe/5-ways-to-handle-the-after-school-meltdown-with-style_b_8919438.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000037

AlexLK

maman wrote: »

Sounds like you've had a much better day today Alex. Well done.

Seems like trying to deal with the whole thing as an adult works. Can't say I'm in the brightest of moods, though.

gallygirl wrote: »

Have amended it .


:rotfl:

Adequate Alex, adequate .


Oh all right then, you have indeed come a long way. I remember right at the beginning nagging you to open the CC bills :eek:.

:rotfl: Understood now.

Only adequate? I'm woefully disappointed, Gally. :rotfl:

Yes, I think I'd rather forget those days. One year since I became debt free, no desire to ever have a credit card again. Yes, I bet the companies are pleased to hear that, too.

Does seem like some people on here seem to think I'm some kind of poor little rich boy, complaining about nothing, even though my wife and I don't earn a lot and did really struggle a few years back.

littlegreenparrot wrote: »

I just read this and thought you might find it helpful, as there are some strategies to help manage the behaviour.

Don't worry about him having a go, you'll probably find you are repeatedly accused of being a rubbish parent. Mostly when you say 'no' to something!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-vanessa-lapointe/5-ways-to-handle-the-after-school-meltdown-with-style_b_8919438.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000037

Littlegreenparrot, thank you.

I've just read the article and though a few suggestions are a bit cringeworthy, I do think son would benefit from some kind of incentive. His problems seem to be before school a lot of the time, though.

You're certainly right about being accused of being a rubbish parent. Recently, he seems to do this to just me, though and not to my wife, despite the fact I'm around much more. Today wasn't so bad, fortunately as I promised to take him on his favourite walk with the dogs. Must have been the first time in over a week I've stepped into my own house, too.

maman

AlexLK wrote: »

Does seem like some people on here seem to think I'm some kind of poor little rich boy, complaining about nothing, even though my wife and I don't earn a lot and did really struggle a few years back.



Littlegreenparrot, thank you.

I've just read the article and though a few suggestions are a bit cringeworthy, I do think son would benefit from some kind of incentive. His problems seem to be before school a lot of the time, though.

You're certainly right about being accused of being a rubbish parent. Recently, he seems to do this to just me, though and not to my wife, despite the fact I'm around much more. Today wasn't so bad, fortunately as I promised to take him on his favourite walk with the dogs. Must have been the first time in over a week I've stepped into my own house, too.

I suppose it's all relative but what you earn is a lot compared to many on these boards so to many you are 'little rich boy' even if it doesn't feel like it to you. Many posters would think themselves lucky to have one car, you seem to own a fleet!


I think it's precisely because you are around more that LittleK takes it out on you. It's no ones fault. Your mother's accident was precisely that and you're having to deal with the fall out.


The article is about children who find things at school tough. I don't think that's the case with LittleK. He had a few blips last term but I think that was because he had picked up messages from you that his school wasn't good enough He probably genuinely believes that you can teach him all he needs to know and he loves being at home with you. But he got over that and you even managed to part with him and put your foot down over lunchtime. However in the meantime he's learned which buttons to press on you and anything to do with school or lunchtimes or bad behaviour brings attention. Children crave attention even the wrong sort.


He's been missing you so he's come up with a plan to get your attention even if it's telling him off for calling you the most horrible dad in the world! Today you've offered him positive attention and he's been more co-operative. He's a bright boy so why not be relatively honest with him and explain that grandma needs some help so that you and he will have to walk her dog every day after school to help her. Or maybe he could help you cook something that grandpa would enjoy.;)


That's my take:).

AlexLK

maman wrote: »

I suppose it's all relative but what you earn is a lot compared to many on these boards so to many you are 'little rich boy' even if it doesn't feel like it to you. Many posters would think themselves lucky to have one car, you seem to own a fleet!

I've noticed a lot of people on here that seem to be able to OP serious amounts of money, go on extravagant holidays (not been on one of those for years now) and spend a lot more on everyday items but claim to earn less than my wife and I do. Yet at some point some of the same people have said various things along the lines of me being entitled in some way or living from the "Bank of Mum and Dad". Really annoys me, to be honest.

My wife and I like old cars, it's not as if we've got a "fleet" of classic Aston Martins. In fact, discounting the Defender, the most we could get for a car is about £14,000 on a good day.

maman wrote: »

I think it's precisely because you are around more that LittleK takes it out on you. It's no ones fault. Your mother's accident was precisely that and you're having to deal with the fall out.

The article is about children who find things at school tough. I don't think that's the case with LittleK. He had a few blips last term but I think that was because he had picked up messages from you that his school wasn't good enough He probably genuinely believes that you can teach him all he needs to know and he loves being at home with you. But he got over that and you even managed to part with him and put your foot down over lunchtime. However in the meantime he's learned which buttons to press on you and anything to do with school or lunchtimes or bad behaviour brings attention. Children crave attention even the wrong sort.

That's what my wife seems to think.

My son's behaviour at school isn't the best, so I think whilst he doesn't find the work tough, he does find the environment difficult to deal with. I don't think they challenge him enough or give him enough one to one time, to be honest. Yes, I have taken those points up with the school and he gets on OK when the Headmaster teaches his class but when the part-time teacher is there, he's a nightmare because he has no respect for her (can hardly blame him). I know she doesn't like me and is the type that thinks she knows better even when presented with documentary evidence that she is wrong. Probably thinks I'm being condescending. Still, being there for a couple of years, I don't think will do him any harm.

Been talking with my parents about son's schooling quite a lot and think we've found a good solution for the long term.

maman wrote: »

He's been missing you so he's come up with a plan to get your attention even if it's telling him off for calling you the most horrible dad in the world! Today you've offered him positive attention and he's been more co-operative. He's a bright boy so why not be relatively honest with him and explain that grandma needs some help so that you and he will have to walk her dog every day after school to help her. Or maybe he could help you cook something that grandpa would enjoy.;)

That's my take:).

At first I thought the same but my wife brings him here first thing in the morning and he doesn't go back until 30 minutes before bedtime. This is all because she doesn't want him staying here as she reckons it'll lead to me telling her I want to sell the house.

Truthfully, I don't think I've been the best Dad for the past week or so. Have really tried today and yes, you're right he has been more co-operative.

Have been relatively honest with him about his grandmother but haven't thought to get him "involved". As for cooking something grandfather would enjoy, :rotfl: ... you really know how to wind me up before bedtime, maman.