Renovations and Repayments.

newgirly

You don't sound in a great place alex, I hope,things improve for you soon

maman

AlexLK wrote: »

I'm alive.

That's good to know.;)

AlexLK

ourcornercottage wrote: »

Take care of yourself

Do what you can on every front. If you can't save £11k but you want to do something set a target of £1000. It's still doing well. Focus on anything you can do, no matter how small, not what you can't.

Sometimes I read other people's successes, failures, opinions that totally differ from mine but try to focus that underneath this we all have the common financial goals but will get to the in very different ways. Because it's different doesn't mean it's right or wrong it's just different.

Thanks.

We are still saving £30 per week and this month will overpay £320. Had a few unexpected expenses on the house and the 5 Series. Think the 5 is in it's last year with us and Mrs K will get a company car.

It's just that for some doing well is better than for others.

At the moment I don't really see what I can do work wise apart from managing things for my parents. They've not had a good start to the year, my mother had quite a bad fall whilst out walking with the dog and as a consequence I'm staying with them. Hardly see my wife, cannot fit work into life and son is refusing to have lunch at school. Well, that's on the days he's not just refusing to go to school.

newgirly wrote: »

You don't sound in a great place alex, I hope,things improve for you soon

So do I.

maman wrote: »

That's good to know.;)

If you say so.

newgirly

Can you not get carers in temporarily to help her and just visit Alex? It all sounds a nightmare.

ourcornercottage

I know it sounds mean but it sounds like you need to get your family back together ASAP wife, son and you, from what you say the current siituation has not positively effected you all.

Could a career not be employed to help out with you visiting daily. You earn money so as to not be a burden on your offspring surely.

Consider everyone in the family not just your parents. Sounds like son is attention seeking due to the changes which is perfectly normal. Try not to react negatively.

Keep positive and you'll work things through .

Ps well done on the ops thats not the nothing you described.

AlexLK

newgirly wrote: »

Can you not get carers in temporarily to help her and just visit Alex? It all sounds a nightmare.

Things are not so bad she needs a carer: she can, just about, get around the house, dress herself etc. I'm mainly here because my mother won't be able to drive or exercise their dog for a few weeks and finds cooking very difficult. Can't see a carer putting up with father's demands over food (apparently he can "taste the difference" between my food and mother's despite her being sat in the kitchen telling me what to do). They are both very upset at the moment and my mother is terrified father may be ill in the night whilst she is unable to help.

It's not exactly fun being here and I seem to have become their entertainment; also cannot see a carer playing piano for 3 hours every evening. :rotfl:

ourcornercottage wrote: »

I know it sounds mean but it sounds like you need to get your family back together ASAP wife, son and you, from what you say the current siituation has not positively effected you all.

Could a career not be employed to help out with you visiting daily. You earn money so as to not be a burden on your offspring surely.

Consider everyone in the family not just your parents. Sounds like son is attention seeking due to the changes which is perfectly normal. Try not to react negatively.

Keep positive and you'll work things through .

Ps well done on the ops thats not the nothing you described.

I do need to get back home ASAP but can't leave my parents like this. Can't say I'm in a good place at the moment and wife isn't helping, she refuses to stay with me because she thinks it'll become "the beginning of the end". Instead, she brings son here first thing in the morning and picks him up just before his bedtime. Last night I thought that this must be what it's like to be a single parent.

As explained above, can't see a carer being of much help.

Son is definitely attention seeking, I know this. Trying not react negatively but it's difficult at times.

I was trying to be positive until now and hoped to have a list of things to do this year to make it interesting. We were starting to formulate some real plans regarding our money situation, Mrs K was on board and we were keeping a record of monies spent.

You're right that I need to try to be positive, that seems hard to do, though.

Thanks re. the OP. Perhaps, I ought make a combined savings and OP target for this year? A part of me feels a complete fraud because I couldn't do this without my wife, she earns the money.

A_Frayed_Knot

An 'op' goal and a 'savings' goal - great idea:T
You say - your wife earns the money - do you not get paid any money for your work?

Shame about your mum and dad's health, and DS playing up, got your hands full at the moment, haven't you? Still your there to help for the moment.

Hope to hear your 'goals' for your targets later, and mind make them your goals and forget what everyone else either expects or is doing. This will be your goal.:) Nobody on here makes any judgement about either how low or high these goals are:) We are here to encourage each other's goals not judge:beer:

newgirly

I know I am stating the obvious Alex, but why can't you take the dog for a few weeks, make food and take it all round once a day? If there was an emergency in the night they could ring an ambulance, if it was a non emergency they could still ring you to come over?

You clearly have a lot of pressure on you at the moment, but these situations can go on a lot longer than first anticipated, falls have more than just a physical effect on the elderly - it can often mean a crisis or confidence. You don't want your parents getting too comfortable with you being there full time.

I hope,you don't mind me sticking my beak in (AGAIN) but you need to look after yourself and your family too.


Oh and ps, you are not a fraud, and if you are I am too as my dh has been the main earner for most of our marriage!

AlexLK

A_Frayed_Knot wrote: »

An 'op' goal and a 'savings' goal - great idea:T
You say - your wife earns the money - do you not get paid any money for your work?

Shame about your mum and dad's health, and DS playing up, got your hands full at the moment, haven't you? Still your there to help for the moment.

Hope to hear your 'goals' for your targets later, and mind make them your goals and forget what everyone else either expects or is doing. This will be your goal.:) Nobody on here makes any judgement about either how low or high these goals are:) We are here to encourage each other's goals not judge:beer:

I was going to make a combined goal but I suppose it would be good to know what's been paid to the mortgage and monies for the roof / bathroom fund. Come to terms with the fact the TR6 is a short term car and will go during the height of summer after we've had a bit of fun with it to hopefully pay for the roof to be sorted.

I do earn some money, though part of my income has been put on hold for the moment (music teaching) due to parents. Not sleeping at the moment, either which hardly helps productivity. Wife's income has recently gone down because she has started paying enough into a pension that the income she sees falls under the higher tax bracket.

Things are difficult at the moment, I never thought I'd be in a position where people relied on me, scary thought, that. Today my mother has been a little brighter but father broke down helping to make dinner. I know I can't leave them like this. Son blatantly told me he doesn't want to go to school tomorrow in front of my wife and parents, I told him he's going and apparently he hates me now.

Thanks re. my goals. I've decided to tell my parents to put a record on tomorrow evening because I'm going to spend some time on finalising what I started before coming to stay here.

newgirly wrote: »

I know I am stating the obvious Alex, but why can't you take the dog for a few weeks, make food and take it all round once a day? If there was an emergency in the night they could ring an ambulance, if it was a non emergency they could still ring you to come over?

You clearly have a lot of pressure on you at the moment, but these situations can go on a lot longer than first anticipated, falls have more than just a physical effect on the elderly - it can often mean a crisis or confidence. You don't want your parents getting too comfortable with you being there full time.

I hope,you don't mind me sticking my beak in (AGAIN) but you need to look after yourself and your family too.

Oh and ps, you are not a fraud, and if you are I am too as my dh has been the main earner for most of our marriage!

NG, my parents are both in a really bad place at the moment. They know this can't go on forever, we had a chat about this today but at the moment they just aren't coping. As much as they annoy me (can think of stronger words, sometimes) at times, they dropped everything to be there for me when I wasn't well and I'll be eternally grateful for that. It breaks my heart to see them like this and I wish I wasn't such a disappointment.

Them getting used to me being here is exactly why we had a chat about me going home today. I think my mother will be OK, she's happily talking about looking forward to going out when she gets better and is doing as much as she possibly can. I know it's knocked her somewhat, though.

Of course I don't mind you sticking your beak in. I know my wife and son need me too, quite guilty about what I'm putting them through at the moment. Can't really do the right thing, can I? :rotfl:

Thanks re. earning. Suppose I don't think I do anything well, whether that be earning, keeping a house, looking after family etc. etc.

newgirly

Well I Hope for everyone's sake your mum improves quickly then Alex, and I hope your ds goes off to school ok today