The Birds and the Bees...

ganderson1804

I suffered a miscarriage at Christmas time was was showing so my 2.5 yr old knew mummy had a baby in her tummy. Obviously when I lost it we had to explain to her it had died and wasn't there anymore.

Her simple answer was to go to the shop and buy a new one. I didn't want her believing that was how it happened so told her that you can't buy them and that daddy needs to put it in mummy's tummy. She seemed content with that.

gayleygoo

I bought the book "Let's Talk" to help me explain to my children where babies come from. It seems very informative, detailing the anatomy of boys and girls, how a baby is made and grown, and about the many different kinds of families. It explains about "good touches and bad touches" too. My 7 and 4 year olds have enjoyed looking though it. Since they are a girl and a boy, they have always known that they have different body parts!

My 7 year old DD never really asked much about the baby thing, but she asked plenty of other questions about drugs and death and other topics where you suddenly have to provide a factual answer! I also can't remember how I explained the fluffy handcuffs she found in a drawer and brought down while we had friends over....

Jagraf

I don't remember a big chat, things just came naturally as time went on - first bra, first period, etc. then they discussion at school and with friends. She does ask things sometimes but tends to know it all

She saw a picture of her grandfather when he was a teen the other day, and said to him "omg you have a six pack and you were really good looking!" To which he replied "yes and the girls still think I'm a looker" to which she said "that's gross" :eek:

Guest101

TheMagician wrote: »

My son knows about all human parts and is comfortable with it all. He also knows where babies come from.
But what I struggle to explain in words is intercourse itself. I don't actually want to say things like insert penis into vagina and have to describe having sex itself, sounds too much for 7yo and I'm honestly not comfortable with that since he is so innocent still. I've said kissing and cuddling and that seems to suffice for now but I know I'll have to go into detail at some point and explain how the sperm gets inside so what words exactly would you use? Would you simply be this blunt with a Child?

To be honest, I wouldnt go into details yet. at 7, there just isnt any need. He doesnt need that level of knowledge at the moment.

Schools cover alot of the basics, which is fine. And where appropriate, i'll answer questions. But to be honest i feel the talk about sex, should be at a time when romantic relationships might be on the cusp. Where I can explain not just the practical, this goes here element. But also the emotional and psychological and physiological elements.

bylromarha

onlyroz wrote: »

Do they teach sex education in primary schools any more?

Yes - despite what the media and government will lead you to believe.

In our school, we start in Reception and different aspects are covered each year until the nitty gritty is covered with year 6 post SATS. Our year 6 teachers have a questions box which the children put their questions into. Makes for some open and honest discussions.

bylromarha

We answered questions as they came up, then went through this book with them.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Who-Made-Me-Malcolm-Doney/dp/1859855997/ref=cm_cr_pr_pb_t

I liked it as it has illustrations by Mick Inkpen and Nick Butterworth - but it won't be to everyone's taste as it will be deemed by some as old fashioned, as it talks about sex in the context of after you're married and how babies are made by 2 people who love each other very much. If this is where you're family is at, then it's fab and it was just what I wanted.

TBagpuss

Guest101 wrote: »

To be honest, I wouldn't go into details yet. at 7, there just isn't any need. He doesn't need that level of knowledge at the moment.

Schools cover a lot of the basics, which is fine. And where appropriate, i'll answer questions. But to be honest i feel the talk about sex, should be at a time when romantic relationships might be on the cusp. Where I can explain not just the practical, this goes here element. But also the emotional and psychological and physiological elements.

I believe that there is some evidence that it is more effective for children to start to learn about sex *before* they get to an age where romantic / sexual relationships start to appear on the horizon - once kids hit puberty their hormones can overshadow a great deal, but if they had already got a basic understanding then they are more likely to remember, and feel confident about what they know, including basic information about consent etc. Quite apart from anything else, it can be much easier for young children to ask questions, older tweens and teenagers tend to me much more self-conscious and much more likely to feel embarrassed or uncomfortable either about asking questions, or abut having a parents or other adult talk about sex, and are much less likely to be comfortable admitting that they do not know or do not understand something.

KxMx

I don't remember "a" talk, but my Mum was pretty open and honest with me, albeit in an age appropriate way.

I remember the term bj coming up from a slightly older female cousin, so I asked my mum that night (I was maybe 10 or 11 and we were at that point sharing a bedroom), she told me it was when a man puts his penis into a womans mouth, and a few words expressing it would be consensual.

I was satisfied and didn't ask anything else. Only asked because I didn't know what it was, not because I was interested at that age.

She told me much later she's never been so embarrassed, and was glad it was dark when I asked her lol. But fair play she told me.

Guest101

TBagpuss wrote: »

I believe that there is some evidence that it is more effective for children to start to learn about sex *before* they get to an age where romantic / sexual relationships start to appear on the horizon - once kids hit puberty their hormones can overshadow a great deal, but if they had already got a basic understanding then they are more likely to remember, and feel confident about what they know, including basic information about consent etc. Quite apart from anything else, it can be much easier for young children to ask questions, older tweens and teenagers tend to me much more self-conscious and much more likely to feel embarrassed or uncomfortable either about asking questions, or abut having a parents or other adult talk about sex, and are much less likely to be comfortable admitting that they do not know or do not understand something.

Sorry if what i wrote made you think that i didnt agree with this.

I meant just this. School do basic sex education throughout their various key stage 1 and 2 curriculum. Which is what i was referring to.

My eldest for example has had some child safeguarding lessons regarding what is and isnt private, etc.

I think middle one is due to have this this year (?) need to check.

Eldest has started to notice girls (:eek:) at 8. So we've been supportive. He wants cool hair, he wants to sit with one particular girl at lunch, he wants to smell nice. Innocent and basic. No point me bombarding him with more than basic words of encouragement at the moment.

He's aware of the biological differences, and where babies come from. in the sense that they are grown in mummy's tummy and mummy and daddy make a baby together. Never asked for details. And when kissing is mentioned he goes 'Euurghh'

Edit: this is what i meant by when romantic feelings start, rather than aged 13, with puberty hitting.

jaydeeuk1

My 3 year old daughter (she was 2 at the time) knows how a baby grows in mummys tummy and it got there because mummy and daddy love each other. I think emphasising the love part is really important rather than just the mechanics.

She was really excited feeling the baby over the weeks and months and has a really close bond. She's the sort of child who will ask questions and needs to know how everything works, and likes it how we're honest with her.


She also knows know it comes out as we had a home birth that was incredibly quick (under an hour from 5 min contractions to baby in arms) and she happened to wonder in to the room at the action end just as baby head appearing (Neither midwives nor MiL had turned up by that point so I was midwife and couldn't do much to keep her out! She had been downstairs playing but came up to see what was happening). We were worried she would be traumatised or something but she was absolutely fine, and afterwards asked questions which we answered honestly and was quite fascinated with the whole thing. I think the fact she knows we'll answer her questions honestly lets her trust us even more, and that there is nothing she should be embarrassed about asking.