The Birds and the Bees...

raven83

trolleyrun wrote: »

Apparently, after I read the book about how babies are made aged 4, I asked my mother: "Did you do that?" To which she replied "Yes I did". My answer caused much hilarity: "That's disgusting!" :rotfl:

That was exactly what my oldest daughter said, it did make me laugh :rotfl:

74jax

I just answered any questions as my DD asked. She knew from a young age about sex and how babies were made. Her Dad and Stepmum had a baby via IVF so they told her about too - she would have been about 8. Her Aunt is a lesbian and and also had a baby via insemination and I remember her asking about how two women make a baby.

I don't like it when I hear people talking about stalks bringing babies etc, but each to their own.

raven83

Kaye1 wrote: »

I agree. I was honest with my 6 year old. (I was pregnant so she was interested.)


When I told my friend I had told her the bare facts, she was totally mortified. She said she told hers it was 'magic.' They were 7 and 9 at the time. She was so disgusted that I had told the truth. She said they should 'remain children!

See by not being honest and saying it is magic (to a point it might be) is only going to make the child/ren more intrigued, if you keep to the bare facts, it wont seem like a big deal to them, and with a bit of luck they will be a bit grossed out

moomoomama27

I've always been open and honest with mine about it all, whenever they have asked, they have been told. Sex, babies, reproduction, periods, smae sex relationships, they have grown up with it not being taboo!

My 10 year old recently comforted his 11 year old sister when she started her periods, saying ''don;t worry the pain should only last a few weeks, and I'll heat up your teddy warmer to put on your tummy''.

The way I look at it is it's natural and should not ever be hushed up, or made a fuss of!

The same for silly names to describe the genitals, minnies and marys and winkies, never have got that either!

Auntie_Social

When my 2 were younger and asked questions, I decided to be honest with them ... I figured if they were old enough to ask - they were old enough to know. I only answered the specific question they had asked, in age appropriate words and they were fine with that. As each question came up, I would "join the dots" including the answers to the previously asked questions so they could see where each answer fitted into the grand scheme of things.

I remember my then 8 year old son asking what "Always" were (having just seen the advert on TV), I explained in a simple but truthful way, and then asked if he had any questions, he said no and carried on watching TV, a few minutes later he said "Mum, can I ask a question", I thought ohhh here we go, the full birds and bee's talk and took a deep breath only to be asked "I get what they are for, but why do they need wings?" Bless him!!

on a separate (but related note) ....

My 11 year old stepson has started asking me a few questions, he's asking about "female" stuff so didn't want to talk to his Dad about it. He's done sex education at school but is too shy to ask the teacher. He is "only" my SS so I don't know if it's right for me to be answering him, I am happy to do so, but don't want to tread on his Mum's toes (I don't think she will talk to him tbh). Would you talk to a "step" child about sex or do you think it should come from the Mum / Dad of the child?

themull1

i skirted around the issue until they got the talks at school, they didnt really ask any in depth questions,.

trolleyrun

Auntie Social, I think you can answer his questions, especially as he's asking you. Take it as a complement - he feels he can come to you to talk about these things. At least him talking to you means he gets the correct answers

Madmel

Totally agree about being factual and honest, but using age-appropriate language. My girls asked me lots when we were approaching a busy junction and whilst they caught me off-guard, I did tell them as much as was necessary to answer their questions.

I did forewarn their teacher that I had used correct biological language and not dressed up the facts before they had "the talk" at primary school, as in some cases, children knowing lots can appear suspicious (sad but true). She was fine with this, but when the girls came home, they were amazed that none of their peers knew the correct name for a willy. Mother-in-law was disgusted with me, not for the first time lol, but I would do exactly the same thing again.

I have taught Sex Ed at secondary school, so I felt reasonably confident dealing with it with my own children. However, I agree with this poster above who suggested getting a decent book about it, and perhaps reading the main facts with your child, but then letting them keep the book and come to ask if they have any more questions.

TBagpuss

if she is asking then she is old enough to have answers, in an age-appropriate way.
Also, it helps to build a relationship with her when she knows that she can ask you things she wants to know and you will give her truthful answers. Letting her learn to trust that she can ask, and you will answer without evading or freaking out will pay dividends as she gets older, and feels able to ask you about other things that matter .

Octobergirl

My 9 year old daughter is cool about same sex couples with children, her carer has a daughter with her female partner, her classmate has two dads. We've discussed the how's and the whys, she didn't bat an eyelid.

However, she was incredulous when our hairdresser was talking about going abroad to get married, with her 2 year old boy being pageboy. My daughter hadn't realised you could get pregnant without being married first:)