The Garden Fence - help and support in tough times

suzitiger

Hi everyone, I wondered where the OS thread had gone, I've been lurking on and off through email whilst away.
But I am back now and back on the forums, and I have found you all, hurrah!
How is everyone? I'ts been a while :-D

Rainy-Days

Well MrsL - you were the one who helped me the most, who took the extra time to put your own thoughts, emotions and a heartfelt reply into my original thread - and for that I will always be very grateful

It's just - like you said - going to take some time and maybe like you suggested, that even just doing a few hours in a charity shop one or two mornings a week might be something that I need to think about (jobs are pretty hard to come by up here as you know). The WI went well really though, totally enjoyed it, but it's only once a month!

It's just exactly like you say, things have moved on and in the space of two years I cannot believe how quick it has progressed. Someone mentioned on here that you shouldn't go back to the past because you always find misery there! It's not far off really - I think I had to go back to kind of 'connect' as to why we made the decision to go. It;s not been a wrong one but maybe - well it's not maybe it is a fact - that I had a very rose tinted view of this relocation and the reality has not been quite so perfect. I have just found it harder and longer to settle and find my niche!

One of my more madder friends suggested that I take up Christmas work as an Elf at one of these Chriristmas winter wonderland places that set up each year and then goes promptly bust a short time later - I told her I would think about it

Obviously Cinderella and Snow White was out the question what with age and all that! Still it could be worse she could have suggested Widow Twanky instead :rotfl:

[Deleted User]

Sweetie, you post says strongly to me that you have just taken that first very important step away from what is past and are looking to the future with open eyes, go get it girl, the future is there and yours for the making, grab it with both hands m'dear and make it the present that you want, you can you know!

camelot1001

Wise words as usual Mrs LW! Rainy-Days, you have made a big step forward by going back IYSWIM, the grass always looks greener when you're not there.

When I first came to Scotland I didn't like it very much, cold and wet, didn't know anyone and had to travel over an hour on the train to get to work. We soon made friends, some through my work and some through DHs (although I wasn't keen on the navy wives!). Once the children came along more friendships were formed from toddlers, nursery, school, etc and whilst the children have all flown the nest and I lost DH this is home.

The WI may only be once a month but you may find that other things go on through that meeting. Good luck.

ivyleaf

Cheering you on, Rainy-Days :T as you make your future!

Welcome back suzitiger

Meeting grandchildren from school today :j

burtha

Morning all, gosh I am bored...have spoken to work and back on Monday ...:j ... Its snowing leaves today very pretty ..so might go and brush some up .... have I told you we are keeping one of out last litter of pups ...They will be 8 weeks old this weekend ...and she is half the size of her brothers ... so little 'dotty' is staying to join our mad house ....thinking about whether to sell up and move somewhere smaller , love this house but if I only have ?? years of sight left do we move now,free up some cash and have better holidays,fun times , less work , or stay here kids have lots of space ,and some fun but we work hard...??

[Deleted User]

burtha do what your instincts are telling you ie sort things out now and move somewhere that would suit you better in future. I know for a fact that I would never have coped in our former house, the one that the whole family loved, that had lots of space. The children have their own lives now and I am suddenly on my own as a widow, much more on my own than with company, getting more aches as I get older. I cope fine in my present home and will cope hopefully for the rest of my life. It is very hard work, this getting prepared for the future as an older person and best done when the energy is still there. We downsized from the big family home in 2005, when I was 57 and we moved once more since then as the town house we went to was not the right home for us. Downsizing was absolutely the right decision and I am so very glad that we did it and did it then

nursemaggie

Nice to see you again kittie. How are you? I am sure I can speak for the others we miss you.

[Deleted User]

oh thanks nursemaggie, doing fine now, it has been a hell of a journey and it is amazing how a human being can cope with stuff. It is called adaptation, I always knew that a healthy human can adapt but I found out the hard way, us women have a hell of a lot of inner strength and it comes to the fore, if we let it

Next adaptation for me is coping with potential loneliness but hey ho, I`ll keep finding new outlets for me but am being slow and steady as it is all too easy to jump into things

Aches have been my problem this week, they started with a vengeance a few months after hubbie died, I think it was adrenaline based. The aches come and go and I just stop what I am doing and listen to my body, hoping all the time that all my `remedies` work in the long term. Mainly by damping down low grade inflammations, which do so much damage but it is impossible for me just now, to be cutting the `baddies` out, sugar, pastry, chocolate, ice cream. I am still in munching mode and am craving treats, even though I know exactly what the outcome is

Nice to keep in touch from time to time and have to say that I am no longer mse addicted but always empathise when I read your posts

burtha

Thanks kittie, don't know what to do ref house, would be awful to leave here,the plan was to downsize in 5 / 6 years time after kids have finished education.. which we still should be able to do ..It just involves lots of work ..If we downsize now then we could have some fun ... need to chat to dh think he has his head in the sand ,but can't say I blame him...