Hummingbird's Progress....Well it's time she made some!

greyfox

hummingbird wrote: »

I might do the '40's style party later in the summer. I could string up some bunting between the trees and put some tables out - there's plenty of room and the trees provide some lovely shade if it does happen to be hot!!

That sounds like a lovely idea. I know you missed the VE day anniversary but don't forget that VJ day was on 15 August.

hummingbird

Hi greyfox - lovely to see you!!! Was it really???? That's perfect as I was thinking of doing it for my birthday, which is the 14th!!:j:j:j

Sorted!!!!:T

hummingbird

Right. Well yesterday I did something which for me is quite a big thing.....booked an appointment at the doctor's. The last time I went was in 2011.....

I did quite well because my appointment is for a week tomorrow, i.e Fri 22nd at 10.00am. So I haven't had to wait three weeks or anything.:T

I'm going partly because of all the sleep problems and also to talk about some of the other situations I've got going on. I'm hoping to avoid tablets as I've never taken anything before. I know there are natural remedies for helping with sleep but I've never even tried those, and all I've ever taken if I've had physical pain is paracetamol or ibuprofen.

I do feel as if I've left it very late to go to the doctor though. A lot of it is money-related - which is very specific as I know if that wasn't a problem I'd be feeling a great deal better. I should definitely have gone before but better late than never.:p

I feel as if I'm just living from day to day and existing through it. Mornings are hard for me as I often haven't slept, and also because I have a fear of the post arriving. The worst point of my day is when I hear the thud of the post coming through the letterbox. The facts that a) I work from home and b) that the post comes late makes this worse (it comes any time from about 11am -1.00pm). Once the post arrives I usually manage to open it all, but sometimes there are items I can't face. Eg. Last week I didn't open the EON letter because I have some arrears with them. I opened it when I felt more able to deal with it, the next day - and it was only a statement of my annual energy use compared to last year's, not a demand for full payment.......

I don't have a stack of unopened mail though, if something isn't opened it will be dealt with within a few hours or the next day at the latest. Most often I get it all opened straight away.

Anyway, once the post is dealt with my day brightens up considerably. I start getting more productive enjoying myself far more. And then evenings I love, so I have to watch out for getting to bed too late and starting the cycle all over again.

Now I've written this all out it all sounds totally ridiculous!!:o Hope I can get this all out at the doctor's. I have made an appointment with a particular doctor at our surgery who one of my friends has recommended, as she said he really listens and she found him exceptionally helpful when she went about similar things.:T

P.S The post has come for today..... it included something nice.....my John Lewis voucher for free coffee and cake!!:j

Levi-

It sounds like it could be depression and your Dr may ask you to fill out a questionaire thingy which will indicate if you are having that, well done for making the apt Birdie and I really do understand how hard it is to go, especially about something like that because it's kinda hard to talk about "out loud" with a real person.... but the dr will have a lot of experience in this and will be totally sympathetic and non judgemental. please let us know how it goes. if they do suggest medication then you will find it does help a lot but i know the reservations you have. i have been on medication for depression for years now and i think it has literally saved my life. take any help you can get birdie and don't forget i love ya too :heart2:

hummingbird

Thanks Levi - think you could well be right about it being depression but I haven't wanted to admit this to myself.....I'm resilient and keep myself going, but have a tendency to be too independent and find asking for help incredibly hard!!:o

My friend said the same when I told her the pattern of my day... (I know it's the reverse of a lot of people's who like mornings but don't like evenings LOL) The thing is every night I think it will be different the next day, but then end up with all the same things going on!!

Thanks a million for your support, love you :heartpuls and I know that you understand all this all to well! xxx

Levi-

I can relate to this entirely hun x

scubaangel

It sounds like there might be some degree of low mood/depression causing some of the problems hummingbird, think I lived with the full range when my ex was struggling. So it's def worth talking to the Dr about it, as for reducing the postal anxiety in the mean time, can you switch things like the annual statements to email, or would it be worse knowing that anything appearing is more likely to be about the debt?

System

Big loves hummingbird, I'm sure your doctor will be nothing but supportive. I'm the opposite to you in that I start my day feeling optimistic and then by the afternoon it's gone to pot. Well done for booking the appointment, it's a big step. Don't talk yourself out of going, even if you think your reasons are 'ridiculous', they're not. Let us know how you get on :heartsmil xxx

hummingbird

Thanks scuba - it really does help to write things like this out, as since I did this earlier I've been thinking of ways to help with the postal anxiety! I'm already "paperless" with most of my bills but I still get a lot of paper anyway, as you say due to the fact that there are debts/arrears which then revert back to paper. Just opening an envelope and not knowing what's in it is the worst. The ones where I can see the company logo on the envelope can be bad if I think they may be asking for "full payment in 7 days" or something like that. I also have this weird thing where I think the postman must know I'm in trouble because of the things he's putting through my door LOL!!

The thing is, I'm actually really good at negotiating - if something comes in the post that needs sorting out I'm straight on the phone to them and that part I actually find easier. So not sure why the post is such a huge thing for me. I can remember when I used to love getting post and couldn't wait for it to arrive!!!!! One day it will be like that again;)

hummingbird

loopybecs wrote: »

Big loves hummingbird, I'm sure your doctor will be nothing but supportive. I'm the opposite to you in that I start my day feeling optimistic and then by the afternoon it's gone to pot. Well done for booking the appointment, it's a big step. Don't talk yourself out of going, even if you think your reasons are 'ridiculous', they're not. Let us know how you get on :heartsmil xxx

Thanks so much becs. Today has been a particularly bad day, I'm usually better than this!!! Perhaps it's because I've finally faced up to this and written about it, so I can't hide it to myself anymore - I think I've shocked myself a bit.:o I don't know what's worse with the morning/afternoon/evening thing. We're all different aren't we? xxxx My best time of day is on it's way LOL! :-)