Holidays abroad - or lack of them, impact on child

onlyroz

bigmomma051204 wrote: »

I have suggested that he pick somewhere he would LIKE to go but he

I now feel REALLY bad that we havent taken him abroad - partly due to funds, partly due to wondering what a younger child would have got out of going abroad and also because my hubby had a catastophic car crash when son was 3yrs old so its taken a LONG time to get back on our feet, financially and literally (for the hubby!!)...
When I spoke briefly with his teacher, she simply said "Well, perhaps you need to think about starting to offer him these kind of opportunities as he is going to be left even further behind his peers if you continue to hold him back." When I said that if he was in a less affluent area school, this wouldn't even come up as an issue, she said "well, its a little late to think about that now as he will be going to middle school this September"... I didnt mean I wanted to move him, was just trying to make a point which was obviously lost on her or not worth making :(:(:(

Not expecting any answers really - just needed to sound off as feeling like a really crap parent now at the moment

I would be asking for an appointment to speak to the head. Those are appalling things for a teacher to say.

indsty

First, you sound like a great mum to your son and it is good you can discuss what has happened and the best way forward.

I have to say this particular school sounds like a place I would NOT want my child to go to. I do hope his next school is more in keeping with your family values, or one which is accepting of, and aware of, all the children in their care.

persa

The teacher is bang out of order. Do not let her make you feel like a crap parent, because you're not. She sounds like she reactedly defensively when you made her see that her lesson plan was flawed - I hope with time to reflect, she's realised what she said was inappropriate.

It's important to expose children to as many different people as possible as it helps them realise not everyone looks or talks like them and that's normal, but TBH, you can get that from popping over to the next county for a day trip. As long as you're not keeping your child locked in the cupboard under the stairs, I'd be surprised if he's not getting enough socialisation already.

Foreign holidays are nice if you can afford them, but they're not the be all and end all. If you have a happy child with food on the table, clothes on his back and a roof over his head, you've won as a parent.

carmina_piranha

Gigglepig wrote: »

The comment from the teacher sounded rude ... But I don't understand the need to speak to them in the first place. If it was my child that that hadn't been to a European country then they would just make a presentation of one based on research, pretty straight forward really and no need to take up the teacher's time? Perhaps it irritated the teacher, especially if it wan't a one off - only you know if you are the sort of parent that discusses things with them things quite often that perhaps the parent could solve themselves.

My other thought was that when the teacher mentioned the child falling even further behind, does this mean the child is already behind the others anyway, in terms of learning or cultural experiences? if so perhaps the teacher made a general comment rather than specifically about the holiday.

The need to speak to the teacher in the first place was because the child is worried about being belittled for his holidaying experiences. A decent teacher would have said to write about somewhere, and that she would avoid questions that would make it obvious that he hadn't actually been there.

What solution did the teacher offer? This is a child of what, 8 years old? The teacher SHOULD be concerned that he is worrying about presenting his homework to the class. She should be able to offer a solution where he could do some research and present something.

Loz01

OP I would be phoning up the Headteacher for a chat about that particular teacher. I would also write a note saying he could not complete the homework and if there was any issue to phone me!

carmina_piranha

bigmomma051204 wrote: »

My son said earlier that he didn't care if they have been on holidays abroad, but said that he would like to go abroad soon - He fancies Italy apparently lol - because he liked doing about the Romans at school :A Time to get saving, I suppose....!

My 9 year old recently told the class that his Dad was taking him to Italy at the weekend, to visit the town of Chester :rotfl:

This isn't an affluent area, and luckily they are nice kids so not only is there no expectation that kids will have been abroad, but also he didn't get laughed at for not knowing that Chester is in England.

I couldn't go with them, but they had a great time visiting various Roman things and the teacher discussed it with him afterwards and didn't make him look foolish for thinking it was abroad.

Can you get to Chester?

Otherwise, you can get cheap holidays abroad with the £9.50 promotion from the Sun newspaper. I haven't been, but people talk about going abroad on the Sun holidays threads.

I really don't think you are 'holding him back' in this respect. If you were leaving nits or worms untreated, not setting an appropriate bedtime, or not listening to him reading his school book then that's something a teacher might comment on - but not going abroad I don't see as a major disadvantage. Yes, mine has been abroad but he is just as happy camping in Wales.

Gigglepig

carmina_piranha wrote: »

The need to speak to the teacher in the first place was because the child is worried about being belittled for his holidaying experiences. A decent teacher would have said to write about somewhere, and that she would avoid questions that would make it obvious that he hadn't actually been there.

What solution did the teacher offer? This is a child of what, 8 years old? The teacher SHOULD be concerned that he is worrying about presenting his homework to the class. She should be able to offer a solution where he could do some research and present something.

I guess my approach would have been to try to solve this myself and try to give the child this confidence - before going to the teacher. A child will look to their parent how to deal with that other people have different circumstances, whether they take it in their stride or feel belittled - seems like a learning opportunity. I also would not be complaining about fairly trivial things like homework assignments, but that's just me. Anyway like i said, I think the teacher responded badly and completely understand if OP wants to take the complaint further.

goggle

if it were my child, they would be producing a really good report that started:
"The UK is one of the most diverse countries in Europe. From the mountains of Scotland to the beaches of Cornwall, each area offers something different and there are particularly unique cultures, languages and characteristics in Northern Ireland, Wales, Scotland, the Channel Islands and the Isle of Man.
I am lucky enough to live in an area of the country that attracts tourists from all over Europe (I think you said you live in the Cotswolds) however I have been fortunate enough to visit some very different parts of the UK. One day I would like to visit <insert whatever area of Europe he would like to visit & why eg I would like to visit Italy, in particular Rome, because I have enjoyed learning about the Romans at school and would very much like to see the Colosseum However, for now I am happy to continue to explore new areas of my own fascinating country.
now you focus on whatever area he chooses - Devon, London, even the Cotswolds!

maman

ohreally wrote: »

My work often takes me into schools. Recently, visiting a primary, the teaching staff were arriving, you should have seen the way they were dressed, all wearing what appeared to be v. expensive clothes, shoes and hand bags. An individual commented to me its like a bloody fashion parade. They all appeared in competition with each other.

The car park was full of BMW's and range rovers. This was a primary school in a deprived area facing constant council cut-backs.

A world away from the kids they are teaching.

In defence of the majority of teachers (although I have to say I have no wish to defend this particular Cotswold teacher) there is no way they could afford that standard of living on a teacher's salary. I can only imagine they have wealthy partners.

Broadwood

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

I would be seriously worried about the teachings from this school

You are to be looked down upon if you do not take holidays abroad???

The teacher is bang out of order, but it does seem like the attitude goes further than her, hence the homework being issued on the assumption that everyone has been abroad

I wouldn't want my child being around that kind of snobby thinking to be honest, or be made to feel inferior because they hadn't had this expensive treats

You are not a bad parent, the school need to get real.

I have never been abroad in my life.

Yep....in a nutshell.....Snobbery!

So what if I've been abroad only twice in my life to France aged 3 and 15. Both times we stayed with French relatives. I have never had a passport of my own. Meanwhile I'm 57 and there are still a few islands and settlements in Britain that I have yet to discover. The Shetlands amongst them.

You don't need to travel abroad to experience different cultures and landscapes. We have a great variety of them here at home.

There are a few countries I quite fancy visiting one day when I retire, like Iceland and Canada plus perhaps Australia and New Zealand. But if I never get to them all at least I will still have studied them via books films tv and this internet marvel.

Regular foreign travel isn't green and it's killing the planet!