Why do friends tell lies?

atolaas

Caroline_a wrote: »

My ex was like this. He told me he'd been in the army, done service in N Ireland, been to Canada with work and so on and so on. Initially I believed him, until I bumped into his ex wife - who laughed like a drain and said 'what a load of rubbish'. She'd been married to him all the time this was supposed to be happening....

No guesses as to one of the reasons why he's an ex now!

Sounds like a bit of a narcissist to me!

FatVonD

I knew someone like this, he insisted he used to be a member of a fairly well known band though there are videos/photos/band line ups etc of them and it's clearly not him! His lovely girlfriend went along with it and I never knew whether she believed him or she was lying too.

They bought a flat at one point (actually, that was probably a lie too because they were on benefits but it was the 90s so anything's possible.) We went to a party round there and he told me they were adopting a young boy, then the lad walked in, he was at least 20 and their lodger!

Sadly he is dead now and, in the great scheme of things, his lies didn't hurt anyone.

raven83

FatVonD wrote: »

I knew someone like this, he insisted he used to be a member of a fairly well known band though there are videos/photos/band line ups etc of them and it's clearly not him! His lovely girlfriend went along with it and I never knew whether she believed him or she was lying too.

They bought a flat at one point (actually, that was probably a lie too because they were on benefits but it was the 90s so anything's possible.) We went to a party round there and he told me they were adopting a young boy, then the lad walked in, he was at least 20 and their lodger!

Sadly he is dead now and, in the great scheme of things, his lies didn't hurt anyone.

I guess people just make these things up as a way of of detaching from reality and living a fantasy life to make them feel better.

Baby_Angel

raven83 wrote: »

I guess people just make these things up as a way of of detaching from reality and living a fantasy life to make them feel better.

The trouble is, I don't think this feeling lasts forever. My brother-in-law's wife has been telling lies for as long as I know her. Initially everyone really thought she was actually earning that much to afford all the nice things she was buying/spending on. Not even the BIL had a clue, until one day everything came crashing down. They are together only for the sake of their DD. Not sure how long it is going to last though. But they are in deep deep financial trouble at the moment.

j.e.j.

alias*alibi wrote: »

My brother is the biggest liar of all; so much so I've cut myself off from him and wouldn't care if I never saw him again.

When he was younger he was in the army. He had a girlfriend and would leave the barracks to see her. One day to get time off he said that me and my mum had died in a car crash. His Sargent phoned my grandad to pass on his condolences who said 'I have no idea what you are talking about as his mum is sat here with me'. Que dishonourable discharge from the army. I don't think he has ever told any of his many partners this; he still hangs up the photo of him in uniform at every house and his recent Facebook profile pic is a slogan 'VETERAN; Been The Best'. He never got as far as active duty. It kills me; I don't know how he has the audacity really. The final straw for me was creating such a web of deceit with each new relationship he would go into that I would have no clue what he told them was real or fake and it was like stepping on eggshells all the time. Nightmare. Good riddance to all that.

People telling fibs, or bigging themselves up is one thing. But what twisted bastard makes up a lie about a close relative dying in a car crash?! Some people have got no morals whatsoever. I'm not surprised you cut yourself off from him.

millysg1

I have someone at work who is a nickname Two Sh1ts Paul because if you have 1 of something he always has two! Any story you tell he has done or has the dame or better! very frustrating.

when I was at school I had a friend who lied all the time, worst one was she had skin cancer!

It all came out in the end and, surprise surprise, I didn't stay friends with her much longer after it did.

purpleshoes_2

I worked with someone who was a total Walter Mitty and I briefly dated someone a few years ago who was the same. Apparently he gave an ex gf 50 000 of his redundancy money (as you do) and moved to Ireland to work with her, she apparently banished him to a cottage with no heating or hot water. He left there and found some poor sucker to take him in.

I don't believe for a nano second that he gave her 50 grand. There were also huge tall tales about how his previous relationship broke down and the final straw was when I was having a really tough year myself, he disappeared. Went offline, apart from sending me these emails about how he feared for his sanity if he didn't get a job soon (he did). Signing on and claiming HB was apparently going to tip him over the edge.

I also tracked him down on a dating site where he had updated his location but nothing to say that he was dating someone. A few months after I gave him the heave, someone forwarded a profile of his on a site called gentlemen for hire, he was charging 100 quid an hour for some poor sod to sit and listen to his taller and taller tales.

PurplePow

I think everyone knows or has known someone who likes to lie like this. I remember when I was a younger I spoke to a youth worker about a friend who kept on doing this. She told me that maybe he feels the need to make himself sound better to his friends, and that he lacks confidence and self esteem.

I also had a good friend who’s Dad is one of these liars. He’s the type of guy who was in the ‘SAS’ (apparently this is a common lie that men do, pretend they were in special forces!!) and she was always telling me stories he’d told her, and she believed every single word. I didn’t have the heart to say anything to her!

LutonGirl

One day I will write a book about the guy I know, but it won't get published - even as a work of fiction it's far fetched. He led a double life for many years before being found out. Two women, two flats, one marriage, one ever so long engagement. My jaw was on my lap when his poor mother was telling me the tale.

RuthnJasper

j.e.j. wrote: »

I never say anything to them, even if I know they're lying. There's someone in my street who told me her dad's a billionaire property developer/landlord in London and gets invited to garden parties at Buckingham Palace.

Funny how she's living in social housing, given the above :rotfl:

I live in Social Housing and my parents really DID go to Buckingham Palace garden parties!! They were missionaries.

But whenever any blatant liars start up, I feel sorry for them more than anything else. Their lives must be terribly empty and lonely if they have to make up such nonsense in order to give them a sense of self-worth. They need bl**dy good memories too, in order to remember which lies they've told to whom.