No More Chardonnay for me! My booze-free Diary

Honey_Bear

Carviscocker wrote: »

I think I will mention it to my friend.. I have actually made attempts to cut it out before but my group are quite big drinkers and I gave in to the suggestions that I should have a glass. I'm going to tell them all I think. Say it's something I want to do for me etc

Apart from my OH, who I told the morning after the night before, I told friends as and when we went out on occasions when I normally would have been drinking. I didn't do a big announcement (because I was so afraid I wouldn't be able to see it through) until I'd completed the 100 Day Challenge (linky) and most people were 100% great and ALL of our friends are heavy drinkers. The ones that told me they didn't think I had a drink problem and then decided they wanted to persuade me to go back to drinking were few and far between, thank goodness. I'm still a bit cautious around them, if I'm honest.

Carviscocker

I'll see how I get on.. I am conscious I don't want to make too much of a big deal about it.

First day off today.. So far so good! Caught up on some TV, cleaned my flat and popped to Tesco. Got some bargains! (I love a yellow sticker ha ha). Got a bag of spinach, soup mix and a bag of carrots for 1p each!

I've picked up some nice drinks and a few snacks. I figured that although I'm trying to save money it's still cheaper than 2 bottles of wine would have been! I think it'll help feel less deprived! I've probably saved roughly £40 at least this week by not drinking! That's a scary amount!

Honey_Bear

Carviscocker wrote: »

I'll see how I get on.. I am conscious I don't want to make too much of a big deal about it.

If that's what works for you, that sounds very sensible.

First day off today.. So far so good! Caught up on some TV, cleaned my flat and popped to Tesco. Got some bargains! (I love a yellow sticker ha ha). Got a bag of spinach, soup mix and a bag of carrots for 1p each!

Ooooh and I love love love hearing about other people's bargains!

I've picked up some nice drinks and a few snacks. I figured that although I'm trying to save money it's still cheaper than 2 bottles of wine would have been! I think it'll help feel less deprived! I've probably saved roughly £40 at least this week by not drinking! That's a scary amount!

One of the tips I got from Belle (100 Day Challenge originator - last time I'll mention it on this thread, promise) was to give ourselves treats. I kind of do, because I have to admit that I didn't spend anything like the amount on them as I spent on booze and after the first year blew a large amount on really beautiful plant pots for our sundeck. And then last week blew a huge amount (a whole year's drinking worth) on evening classes. OH and I eat amazingly good food most of the time (and some crap occasionally ) so food-based treats weren't really a treat for me, if you see what I mean. However, I've recently discovered Lidl's chocolate hazelnut bars and they really hit the spot! Whatever works for you, that's what you need to do. And the money-saving really does add up.

Carviscocker

Hi HB

Ooh I'm a sucker for Lidl and Aldi chocolates.. They remind me of trips to Europe I've had.

I can definitely see the logic behind treating yourself.. I did it when I quit smoking although my thought process then was if I spend the money on something else I won't have any for cigarettes?! Now it's definitely so I don't feel like I'm missing out!

What evening classes are you doing if you don't mind me asking? Going alcohol free is obviously good for the mind as well as the body!

My little sisters (19 and 21) are cooking a roast dinner today.. First time they ever cooked for me so wish me luck and hopefully I'll live to tell the tale ��

MarylandCookie_2

Hey everyone, hope your all ok and having/had a great weekend. Welcome Carvis, this is a brilliantly supportive thread, as you've already seen! I love a bargain and love yellow sticker shopping, not managed anything for a penny yet though!

Fab news on another PB Chardonnay, I'm so thrilled for you. I did a bit of running/jogging to avoid the rain drops on my weekend away. Had a great time away, really chilled and relaxed. Have still been moderating, but to be honest haven't enjoyed having a drink this weekend, we went to a beer festival and really didn't even fancy any of the ales, which is most unlike me. As you know I've been moderating for a while now, but I'm still dancing around the edge of abstaining altogether. Lots of thoughts swirling around my head at the moment. Carvis, I too have had my share of 'oh god what did I do/say' moments after a night of one too many. The shame, guilt, paranoia and depression that follow are hideous, completely hideous. Good luck on your journey, do you follow any sober blogs?

Have a great week everyone, love, hugs and positive vibes to all xx

Carviscocker

Hi MC thank you so much for the welcome! Its been so nice to get support from everyone.. Each persons journey is different but it makes such a difference knowing that there are people out there who get what I'm going through!

A 1p yellow sticker is my best yet.. The previous PB was 4p. I feel such satisfaction when I get a bargain!

Unfortunately I don't seem to be able to moderate.. One time I can drink a bottle of wine and I'm absolutely fine others a couple of glasses and I'm out of control. Very odd! I don't follow any blogs do you have any recommendations?

Very impressive that you ran on your trip! Your halo is being shined as we speak! Thank you for the encouragement it makes it all seem easier!

MarylandCookie_2

Hmmmm I wouldn't really say it was a run, but I made the effort! I do love my fitness, and regularly go to the gym and I used to run, up to 10k 3 times a week, but haven't done that for quite a while!

I follow A Dappled Path blog by Annie101uk, not sure how to do links - sorry! From there you'll see blogs that Annie follows and links to them. There's also soberistas.com, I hope you find them helpful.

I'm finding moderating ok at the moment, I know it isn't for everyone and I'm cautious, very cautious when I say it's ok, because that's usually when it comes and bites me from behind and I slip from moderating to, well, a night I can't remember. I am much more mindful about what I drink, when I drink and how I'm feeling and find reading the blogs and the support on here really helps.

Chardonnay - cant remember if your on holiday this week, if you are have a wonderful time. Can't wait to hear all about it when your back.

I'm off work today, so just having a coffee then off to my favourite place aka the gym!! Have a great day everyone xxx

Chardonnay

Hello all! Wow, this thread has been busy - great to see!

Thanks Carvis, yes have to say that I have really seen an improvement in my running since cutting out the drink! I feel so much stronger and fitter. I think that finding running has been a massive thing for me. I needed something to give me that kick up the backside to finally stop drinking - an interest that was more important to me than drinking, and thankfully I have found it! It sounds like you're doing really well! I love your bargains - 1p - that's amazing! How did the roast dinner go?

I would recommend blogs and particularly books too - reading has really helped me a lot. I am also a member of Soberistas, which has been a godsend too (along with this thread of course!) There is a membership fee but you can have a few page views for free I think, so it might be worth having a look. There are blogs on there, a forum, lots of advice about living healthier and webinars - which are great and have really helped me. I love it because it's uplifting and makes me feel really positive about not drinking, not that I'm giving up something enjoyable. I would say we need to find the support that works for us, as we're all different, but it is definitely important to get as much support as possible.

I still get a lot from Belle's emails (100 day challenge that HB mentioned). I haven't joined the challenge as didn't find that emailing every day to say that I was sober really helped me, although I know it does help a lot of people! She is amazing though and offers so much support which you can dip in and out of as required.

Well done on finding the Echo Falls HB! Let us know what you think of it. It's not something I would drink every day but I do think it's great for celebrations and it feels special - nice bottle with gold foil and a cork etc - that makes a difference I think!

That's great about the restaurant and also makes sense for them to keep their customers happy. I can understand your point about paying corkage and I'm sure they will appreciate the gesture. At least you know you're all sorted now and can enjoy your anniversary to the full, rather than sitting there with a sweet soft drink that you don't really want. :T

Thanks MC! Well done on running on your hols - brilliant! So pleased to hear that you had such a relaxing weekend and also interesting that you didn't really enjoy drinking and didn't fancy any of the beers at the festival. I've been where you are with the thinking, being not quite sure if I want to stop completely. It's a very scary prospect but once I started to accept that even when I was drinking, most of the time I didn't actually enjoy it very much, it made me think that maybe now was the time to knock it on the head. It's a decision you need to come to (or not come to) yourself, but in the meantime, just charting your thoughts on here should help a lot. I find this thread great to look back on when I'm tempted to go back to drinking.

You all have a great week too! xx

Chardonnay

Had a bit of a dodgy day yesterday. I haven't been very well over the weekend - it's been coming for a while I think. I think I am run down and had some sort of virus. Didn't feel well on Friday either so maybe my running exertions on Saturday didn't help! On Sunday I felt awful and spent most of the day in bed. Yesterday I felt a little better but still rough. I had some work to do in the morning, and packing etc for our holiday. I felt a little sorry for myself and thoughts started going towards drinking on holiday again. Not as strong as the last time and I didn't even mention them to my OH. I worked them through in my head and asked myself if it would really be worth it. I thought about how I wouldn't run (I know I wouldn't), how I would feel shattered, how I would sleep badly and feel anxious. I quickly came to the conclusion that it really was not worth it and that I was feeling low but the feelings would pass and they did!

I am reading Veronica Valli's "Why you drink and how to stop" - a really excellent book and it is really making me think. I went to bed with that on my kindle last night and also had a good look at some blogs on Soberistas and felt really positive about not drinking again by the time I went to bed. So fingers crossed the storm has passed - for now anyway!

I'm hoping for a lovely, relaxing holiday to recharge my batteries. I've downloaded some good books on my kindle - some fiction, my Veronica Valli book, my meditation book (which I'm just over half way through!) and a meditation audio book so I will be busy! I'm planning on sleeping, running, walking, reading, using the spa and eating good food! Hoping that the weather will improve (it was awful here yesterday!) but know that I can't control that and will make the most of it whatever!

I think I am very tired - I really need a break from work and staring at a computer screen all day. I am so looking forward to getting away from it all tomorrow. I'm not sure whether I'll be able to update on here or not so don't worry if I don't! I will look forward to catching up on how you're all doing! I just wanted to say that I'm so glad I started this thread - the camaraderie on here is just brilliant. Thank you all so much for your input! :T

So I will check in when I can, but have a great few days all! PS. I am on Day 80 today.....how did I get here?!

Honey_Bear

Day 80! Wow! Huge congratulations on that, Chardonnay, and I hope you feel better and have a lovely, lovely holiday. Don't worry if you can't post but if you feel tempted to drink (which I don't think you will, btw) if you can top up on the reading and then search out a wifi hotspot to post to let off steam, you might find that would get you through.

Carviscocker wrote: »

What evening classes are you doing if you don't mind me asking? Going alcohol free is obviously good for the mind as well as the body!

My little sisters (19 and 21) are cooking a roast dinner today.. First time they ever cooked for me so wish me luck and hopefully I'll live to tell the tale ��

Let's see if I can remember them all. They start in late September and run right through to June next year, on and off, some one day Saturdays, mostly evenings, at at least five different venues across the city, so I need to keep my wits about me or I'll end up in the wrong place wearing steel toe-capped boots expecting to do crochet. Mostly they're evenings, but I do love a Saturday course. Right. let's see. Plastering for Beginners; Tiling, Wallpapering and General DIY for Beginners; Carpentry for Beginners (there might be a bit of a theme developing here yet?); Crochet for Beginners, Patchwork Bag in a Day, Hair Up and I think that's it.

If I can saw a bit of wood straight by the end of it, drill a hole where I want it, rehang doors when the hinges go, not need to ring a builder to tile behind the kitchen counter at the chalet, crochet some granny squares and put them together to make a lap quilt, make that patchwork bag and put my hair up by the end of it all - I'll be happy, Nothing acadamic because I've kind of done it and I don't want to embark on a PhD which would be the next step. My brain just isn't agile enough for that level of work.

Hope the dinner went well. OH and I alternate cooking the evening meal and although I like cooking there are days when I look forward to not having to rattle those pots and pans in the evening.

MarylandCookie wrote: »

Carvis, I too have had my share of 'oh god what did I do/say' moments after a night of one too many. The shame, guilt, paranoia and depression that follow are hideous, completely hideous.

The thing I don't miss - which feels absolutely great - is the shame. Hateful waking up to that on a regular basis. This feels much better; it rather helps that I don't have a hangover most mornings, either.