Would you ever inform the police of your child's criminality?

Gavin83

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I voted for eight, I wouldn't turn them in to the police for shoplifting (but would make them take the things back and apologise to the shopkeeper and take any punishment that may arise from that) or drugs for personal use (but would make sure they had appropriate help).

What if they didn't actually need help though?

seven-day-weekend

Gavin83 wrote: »

What if they didn't actually need help though?

If they are taking drugs they need help.

They might not want it, however.

Gavin83

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

If they are taking drugs they need help.

Why?

If you found a couple of cans of lager in their room instead would you be rushing them down to the local AA group?

If you disagree with drug taking then fine, deal with it as you see fit. They're your kids. However, it's perfectly possible for someone to take drugs and not have a problem.

Besides which where would you take them? The doctors seems the obvious choice. However this throws up an issue for your idea. Firstly you wouldn't necessarily be allowed in the room (they're 16, capable of dealing with their own modical requirements) and unless they admit they have a problem the doctor wouldn't do anything.

Sorry to pull you up on this, I just find the idea that everyone who takes drugs has a problem (or is an addict) as ridiculous. I've known so many people who have taken drugs who have led a perfectly normal life and many people in respected professions in this country. Sure, some might have issues but it should be treated the same as alcohol. Assume the majority won't have a problem but for those that do the help should be available.

thorsoak

Gavin83 wrote: »

Why?

If you found a couple of cans of lager in their room instead would you be rushing them down to the local AA group?

If you disagree with drug taking then fine, deal with it as you see fit. They're your kids. However, it's perfectly possible for someone to take drugs and not have a problem.

Besides which where would you take them? The doctors seems the obvious choice. However this throws up an issue for your idea. Firstly you wouldn't necessarily be allowed in the room (they're 16, capable of dealing with their own modical requirements) and unless they admit they have a problem the doctor wouldn't do anything.

Sorry to pull you up on this, I just find the idea that everyone who takes drugs has a problem (or is an addict) as ridiculous. I've known so many people who have taken drugs who have led a perfectly normal life and many people in respected professions in this country. Sure, some might have issues but it should be treated the same as alcohol. Assume the majority won't have a problem but for those that do the help should be available.

I may be jumping to conclusions here (in which case I do apologise) but your position would be that of an adult who is a drug user, but who manages his drug use in such a manner as to be able to hold down a job and maintain emotional relationships.

But this poll is asking about a teenager - not an adult. As a parent one does have a responsibility to ensure that teenagers reach adulthood with as few "handicaps" as possible. Just as I would be talking seriously about the dangers of alcohol to a teenager who was drinking with peers and friends, so I would be doing the same were I to find evidence of drug use - especially class a drugs - in a teenager's room.

To take the attitude "oh everybody does it" is dangerous, imo.

Gavin83

thorsoak wrote: »

I may be jumping to conclusions here (in which case I do apologise) but your position would be that of an adult who is a drug user, but who manages his drug use in such a manner as to be able to hold down a job and maintain emotional relationships.

But this poll is asking about a teenager - not an adult. As a parent one does have a responsibility to ensure that teenagers reach adulthood with as few "handicaps" as possible. Just as I would be talking seriously about the dangers of alcohol to a teenager who was drinking with peers and friends, so I would be doing the same were I to find evidence of drug use - especially class a drugs - in a teenager's room.

To take the attitude "oh everybody does it" is dangerous, imo.

I totally agree with you. I'm of the opinion that a teenager of 16 shouldn't be taking drugs or drinking for that matter. Were it my child I'd also be speaking to them. It was just the suggestion that by taking drugs they have a problem and need outside help I had issues with. Just because someone has drugs (regardless of age) in their room it doesn't make them an addict and instantly mean they require professional help.

Also (this question is to seven-day-weekend) where would you take them exactly for this help?

Domayne

Where is the option for none?
I wouldn't report my child to the police for anything. Neither would I report family/friends for anything, my relationships are more important to me than the law

tesuhoha

I find it an impossible question to answer. Its probably even more impossible if you don't have kids.

However, I think you have to take into account the unfairness of the justice system. If you report a family member for a crime you might just want them to be taught a lesson but they could end up in a horrible prison where they are beaten and abused. This could lead to suicide if the person is sensitive and vulnerable.

I think in each individual case you have to think it through. For instance there might be people whose kids have turned really bad and they have no choice from fear of danger to themselves or others. On the other hand there might be a child who really doesn't grasp the gravity/consequences of what they have done and just a short lecture might stop them in their tracks.

I think the only circumstances I would report my son is if he was carrying out sex attacks or murder. But then I wouldn't know him anymore if he did something like that because its not in his character. As for using drugs, I suspect he has smoked the odd joint but I have never seen any evidence of it and I think I would turn a blind eye.

BJV

little-spender wrote: »

I would report just the same as the ones making these laws do to their own kids, So NO I would report for nothing.
In this world it is the wee joe bloggs who is suppossed to do everything by the book, while those making the laws do exactly as they want...or make laws to cover themselves.

I understand your point of view in that the more money and power you have the more you can use it to manipulate the system, but really? Wouldn't it mean that you are lowering yourself to their standards.


I can honestly say I would frog march my son down to all of them. I would be devastated but if he was stupid and irresponsible enough to do any of them the my only hope would be that he takes a punishment and realises the error of his ways. I love my children and would die for them but wrong is wrong no matter what the relationship.


There was a post about a fake gun and no-one being hurt. !!!! The fact that the bank staff where held up at what they think was gun point I should imagine ( hope never to find out ) horrific in itself. Sometimes the emotional and physiologic damage can be a lot worse than a broken arm.

mumps

SailorSam wrote: »

I think it was last year seeing a bank had been robbed in Liverpool at gunpoint. It turned out that the gun was a fake and the lad was about 14 and had previously been of good character. When she found out his Mum marched him down to the police. I can't remember exactly but he got a few years jail and at the time the Mum and many other people thought it was harsh given that nobody had been injured ......... (other than the bank staff who were obviously scared). The thing was, here was this kid who was not one of the regular scallies, and what was going to happen to him locked up with scummy deadbeats. I think i remember seeing the Mum saying she wished she'd never turned him in.

This is the point isn't it, they are likely to come out of prison with all sorts of problems. They may have been abused by older prisoners, they will certainly have learned how to be a more "effective" criminal, criminality will have been normalised in that environment, and they are likely to have developed a drug problem, quite common in young offenders institutions I understand.

I don't know what I would do.

little-spender

BJV wrote: »

I understand your point of view in that the more money and power you have the more you can use it to manipulate the system, but really? Wouldn't it mean that you are lowering yourself to their standards.




.

Lol...The ones making the power have no morals, and it is them that say we lower non-decision making people should have certain morals. -THEY_decide what morals we shoudl have.

Not only do they decide the morals( while doing what they want) but they then manipulate the general population into thinking everybody(but only those not with power) should uptake these morals(Its called keeping people in line) and if they dont, then they are usually called bad parents- which is usually shouted from the rooftops.....Just look at how they are manipulating the country with their benefits scrounger programmes and Why
All the while these moral police are putting their own down, they get told about the decision makers lapses(that always comes with a little apology and how they did not realize) and do nothing!!! ????WHY?

As for the above on here who say "off I'd march them"...Do you realize that at 16 they can and probably will get a criminal record...so bang goes their career for a small mistake, which by all means the parents by this age should have built up a good bond with their children, that they have learnt certain values relevant to their parents.

I always hate these "moral q's" because altho a lot spout about what they think is the politically correct answer, but in reality would never do half of what they put out....and thus the little moral circle grows again.