Partners ex keeps pestering him

KxMx

divadee wrote: »

Hahahahahahaha. How little you know me. I do like your attitude though. I assume you have had issues of letting go yourself?

I am not nutty or controlling, I just think some women should have a little bit of pride and dignity and stop contacting your ex. They are exs for a reason! And let me know how you would feel being woken up at midnight by a text message saying 'night' every night for a bloody week (couldn't turn his phone off as his mum was sick).

Can your partner set up a phone profile where it will ring for calls but texts come through silent. If his Mum is ill surely he would get calls about that not texts.

Doesn't solve the problem but one issue would be negated.

I did this on my phone after one too many 5am/6am texts from my Library

Buzzybee90

divadee wrote: »

He hates it. Absolutely hates it. He can't understand why she would do it.

I have said he has to be careful cos of the son, I would never want anything to jepodise that. He knows he has to be careful, but he also wants her to stop contacting him with carp, and just contact if it is an emergency or something.

Hmm, it's tricky because she could just lash out and ban him from seeing/speaking to the son.

Has she being doing it since they split, or maybe since you got together, or just recently?

LilElvis

divadee wrote: »

He doesn't want to speak to her and is furious that she is contacting people. But he's too much of a nice guy to say anything bad to her. He has before said, I will contact xxxxxxxxx about seeing him as a hint that he doesn't want her to contact him but she still does, she never contacts him about the son only to stir/rant/pity etc.... He does all contact about seeing the son through the son

It's not his choice how contact with the child is arranged, it is the mother's. She might also stipulate that she wishes the child to have no contact with you. Her child, her choice, her way or no way. The sooner you both wake up and realise this then the sooner he can work out how to get his relationship with his ex on a more friendly footing for the child's sake. You shouldn't have any part in this as it could be totally counter-productive.

LilElvis

divadee wrote: »

I'm going to leave this thread now, it seems im in the wrong! If having my pride and dignity at the end of a relationship is wrong I don't ever want to be right!

I just hope changing his number works and she doesn't get hold of it.

Pride and dignity often go out of the window when you are faced with the breakdown of a lengthy relationship, and especially when the other partner has moved on. Try having a little empathy.

divadee

LilElvis wrote: »

Pride and dignity often go out of the window when you are faced with the breakdown of a lengthy relationship, and especially when the other partner has moved on. Try having a little empathy.

I did have sympathy for her as I have been through a similar break up without me contacting the other person admittedly. The sympathy ended when he found out she had cheated on him twice during there relationship!

Marisco

LilElvis wrote: »

Pride and dignity often go out of the window when you are faced with the breakdown of a lengthy relationship, and especially when the other partner has moved on. Try having a little empathy.

From what I can gather, they have been split up for 12 months, more than enough time for moving on, if the will is there that is!

misspickle_2

She is just finding it hard to move on diva.
Don't let it get to you. Just go about your business and be the better person.
It doesn't sound like she is any threat to you.
Don't become a drama lama who does his head in over it.
Just let her get on with it.
It sounds like she is still needing a connection. Break it gently if you can. Don't go bulldozing. He loved her once.
Difficult for all of you.
It will improve with time.

divadee

misspickle wrote: »

She is just finding it hard to move on diva.
Don't let it get to you. Just go about your business and be the better person.
It doesn't sound like she is any threat to you.
Don't become a drama lama who does his head in over it.
Just let her get on with it.
It sounds like she is still needing a connection. Break it gently if you can. Don't go bulldozing. He loved her once.
Difficult for all of you.
It will improve with time.

Thanks pickle. That's actually what I needed to hear. It's just hard night after night getting disturbed with a silly text or voicemail, I'm not insecure about the relationship I just struggle that anyone would need to cling for so long. Maybe I'm colder than I thiught. Hopefully it will all die down, that's all I want.

Slinky

It will probably die down if she meets somebody else. Some people take longer than others to get over relationships.

misspickle_2

My ex's gf (of 9 years now lol) learnt to accept very early on that she wouldn't be taking my place in the family regardless of the split.
I was very close to them diva. I still am.
And I'm still close to my ex.
You can't just wipe people out of your life.
I am very respectful of my exs partner and I always have been and actually I get on great with her because I chose to communicate with her to put her mind at rest. She was grateful for that and she has no worries now!
I am still very close to the family, I saw them this week in fact but it never causes trouble.
Are you feeling insecure? Or just irritated? Be honest.
We can't help unless you are