School fine withdrawn!

Marisco

tight_scotsman wrote: »

Yes exactly and thats my opinion.
I respect fluffynutters opinion dont mean to say i agree with it.

She still seems to be living on another planet though .

Well she doesn't seem to inhabit the one most of us on this thread live on, that's for sure. There again, as I said, before I came across oh's ex, I might have been arguing from the same hymn sheet as Fluff, as I wouldn't have imagined anyone could be such a "demon" either! I think unless you have come across someone like that, and had dealings with them, it would be very difficult to imagine people can be quite so awful.

missprice

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Catch three buses to get the five miles to his flat and tell him, all six foot five of barely contained rage, hatred, contempt and aggression, to go to his bedroom?

What would be my means of making sure he doesn't do it again? 'If you go on holiday without my permission, I'll be vewy, vewy cwoss with you'?


It would be horrendous if one person could dictate whether Another left the house - it's simply wrong and contradictory to suggest that it should be able to happen in relation to holidays.

So sorry nearly bleddy wet mysen at the comments above, can just imagine trying sending my ex to bed. And although a large fella, he was gentle as a lamb.

And as for the last comment, some people leave marriages/committed relationships because they were not allowed to leave the house ( am thinking DV)
Not right in a relationship let alone after.

fluffnutter

Your debating skills are without parallel.

clearingout

fluffnutter wrote: »

It's exactly the same for separated parents. Why parents think that their obligations stop simply because their child is not with them at the time is beyond me.

the Law is quite clear on what separated parents, with parental responsibility, can and cannot do without consulting the other parent. One of those things is to be allowed to do whatever they want with the child on 'their' time. If my ex chooses to take the children out of school on his time, there is going to be nothing at all all I can do about it. If I have enough notice - several months - I could take the issue through court but it is well known that judges don't say no to holidays. It would also cost me money I don't have (and would probably be cheaper to pay the fine!) If I don't have the notice, my ex gets to do what he wants and I end up with the fine?

You can't have it both ways. If a fine is to be issued to both parents, the parent removing a child without the other parent's permission needs to be punished by the courts as well, surely?

missprice

Homeownertobe wrote: »

Herein lies the problem. The OP is responsible for his child's education, even in these times of 'rights not responsibilities'.

And please do tell exactly how he will get his child to school everyday.
Not what he should do, what he actually practically can do.

fivetide

Marisco wrote: »

Well she doesn't seem to inhabit the one most of us on this thread live on, that's for sure. There again, as I said, before I came across oh's ex, I might have been arguing from the same hymn sheet as Fluff, as I wouldn't have imagined anyone could be such a "demon" either! I think unless you have come across someone like that, and had dealings with them, it would be very difficult to imagine people can be quite so awful.

Exactly. For all the "just work together" and "if an ex is a pain it is because you are doing something wrong" it assumes that everyone is dealing with a rational person.


Sadly, those of us with experience know that rationality isn't common. Some people can be vindictive and selfish for no reason and I guess unless you have dealt with it, you don't understand it. In fact, having dealt with it, I still don't understand it. It should be like FN says but the reality, in a lot of cases is far from it.

Gaz126_2

Hi, well, some interesting points raised!. I will give more details but first a scenario: Separated for 2 years, not amicable, this isn't a choice, 3 kids, trying for a contact order, other parent applies for holiday, turned down. This is the first the other parent will hear of this! Holiday taken, children removed from school - how do you intend to prevent this? I now receive a fine for £180 no contesting, not paid, in court. It is the law, both 'parents' have PR!

Better_Days

Marisco wrote: »

I think oh's ex had all three! TBH she's not that much better now, only she hasn't got the kids to hold over oh any more, so can now be totally ignored.

Very sorry to hear this, you must have had some very difficult years. I do think that it can be difficult for some, who haven't experienced it, to understand how irrationally people can behave as a result of personality disorders and the like. There is literally no reasoning with them and IME actually seem to thrive on the disharmony and bad feelings that they create.

marisco_2

fluffnutter wrote: »

Or perhaps they'll be both told to build a better relationship for the sake of their child and stop passing the buck when something happens that they don't like. Maybe a judge will even put it more sympathetically than me.

I bet if something pleasant happens to the child when parent B is not around, they're quick to take credit for/advantage of it. It's only when something bad happens that they scream 'nothing to do with me!'. Strange that.

How have you jumped to all of these conclusions from what the OP has stated in this thread? He comes across as very level headed to me and has simply tried to highlight a situation that has arisen and could affect a lot of people, and wishes to take advice on it. Some people are far to quick to jump in and judge non resident parents negatively. You would do well to get your facts straight and consider applying some tact before commenting further.

Gaz126_2

The point I am trying to raise is not about whether I agree to holidays in term times. But to any separated parents in this ridiculous position. If you can state you did not remove your child from school- after all that is what the fine is for? And to further that point the Notice in the code of conduct states: In considering use of a school attendance penalty notice it is important to establish that an offence is being committed and that the issue of the Notice is likely to be an effective means of improving the child's school attendance.

I cannot prevent removal, how can this apply?