Charity Auction Regret

koloko

Hi

On Tuesday night I went to a work charity night. One of the auction lots was a dinner experience and I submitted a bid for it. I bid £1,300 for a chef to come to my house and cook dinner. This is obviously a lot, but as it was for charity I was happy to overpay. The bid won, and I was told I could pay later this week.

The next morning my wife told me she was pregnant with our first child. We've been trying for five years, and whilst this wasn't a suprise - it was a suprise. If you get me

The first thing I did was work out how our budget would change over the next year - her income will be reduced by 75% due to maternity leave. I've cancelled our plans for a summer holiday and a new car, but still have to pay the charity the £1,300.

The bid isn't legally binding, but I obviously have a moral obligation to pay it, as it would have gone to the second highest bidder had I not gone for it.

I can afford the £1,300, it is there in a savings account, but the change in our circumstances means I'd much rather not pay it. Does my change in my circumstances warrant negotiation? How immoral would this be? I'm wondering if I should maybe phone up and donate £400, and cancel the kitchen experience.

Jagraf

It would be immoral, in my opinion. I would pay it. You could sell it on I suppose?

*max*

If you could afford to pay £1,300 for this, then even with a drop in salary during maternity, you must be able to afford it still, otherwise it would have been really, really foolish to spend that much money on a dinner...So you should pay, IMO. Maybe you can find another wealthy person to buy if from you.

Peter333

koloko wrote: »

Hi

On Tuesday night I went to a work charity night. One of the auction lots was a dinner experience and I submitted a bid for it. I bid £1,300 for a chef to come to my house and cook dinner. This is obviously a lot, but as it was for charity I was happy to overpay. The bid won, and I was told I could pay later this week.

The next morning my wife told me she was pregnant with our first child. We've been trying for five years, and whilst this wasn't a surprise - it was a surprise. If you get me

The first thing I did was work out how our budget would change over the next year - her income will be reduced by 75% due to maternity leave. I've cancelled our plans for a summer holiday and a new car, but still have to pay the charity the £1,300.

The bid isn't legally binding, but I obviously have a moral obligation to pay it, as it would have gone to the second highest bidder had I not gone for it.

I can afford the £1,300, it is there in a savings account, but the change in our circumstances means I'd much rather not pay it. Does my change in my circumstances warrant negotiation? How immoral would this be? I'm wondering if I should maybe phone up and donate £400, and cancel the kitchen experience.

Explain to them your situation.

I'm not being funny but I think that was a daft amount to pay anyway for a chef to come and cook you dinner. It's not even a decent thing for such an extortionate amount! If it had been a weekend in London for two, with a show thrown in, then maybe, but a chef cooking you a meal! You chose to pay £1,300 for THAT?! :eek:

As someone said above ^^^ if you can afford to waste this kind of money, then you must be well off. Because I have always had a fair wage, and when my wife has worked (about half her adult life when not raising the kids,) she earned OK, and we would never, ever have paid this; no matter WHAT the charity.

If you do not want to pay it, then I would suggest your idea of giving say £350 or £400, and cancelling the chef. Just explain that you can no longer afford it as you just found your wife is pregnant.

I am sure they will understand.

Not a lot they can do really is there?

They will probably be mildly miffed, but they'll get over it.

Congratulations on the baby by the way. :beer:

Jagraf

Peter333 wrote: »

Explain to them your situation.

I'm not being funny but I think that was a daft amount to pay anyway for a chef to come and cook you dinner. It's not even a decent thing for such an extortionate amount! If it had been a weekend in London for two, with a show thrown in, then maybe, but a chef cooking you a meal! You chose to pay £1,300 for THAT?! :eek:

As someone said above ^^^ if you can afford to waste this kind of money, then you must be well off. Because I have always had a fair wage, and when my wife has worked (about half her adult life when not raising the kids,) she earned OK, and we would never, ever have paid this; no matter WHAT the charity.

If you do not want to pay it, then I would suggest your idea of giving say £350 or £400, and cancelling the chef. Just explain that you can no longer afford it as you just found your wife is pregnant.

I am sure they will understand.

Not a lot they can do really is there?

They will probably be mildly miffed, but they'll get over it.

Congratulations on the baby by the way. :beer:

The point is its for charity. I bid £5 for a fairy cake once. It's not really about the value of the prize.

Peter333

Jagraf wrote: »

The point is its for charity. I bid £5 for a fairy cake once. It's not really about the value of the prize.

I think you're missing the point a bit.

£5 for a fairy cake that was probably worth 50 pence, is a BIT different to almost one and a half grand for a flipping meal that would be worth no more than £60-70 IMO.

If you can't see that, then there's nothing else I can say to you mate.

Guest101

Charity begins at home

carefullycautious

'A fool and his money' as my father always said.

fluffnutter

First world problems springs to mind but you're trying to do the right thing, OP.

Congratulations on your wife's pregnancy. How wonderful after such long years of trying.

The best solution would be that you find someone else who's willing to pay the £1300. Failing that, I understand why you want to negotiate and offer, say, £400, but isn't that cheating whomever bid the next highest amount? What if someone else bid £1000 yet you get the meal for £600 less? That really would be unethical - you're seeing off both the charity and the next highest bidder.

If you can't find someone to sell this prize to for the full £1300, then you must pay yourself. Unless you can find whomever you beat in the auction although I suspect this will be difficult.

cavework

How about a wonderful meal cooked by a top chef at home to celebrate the fact you are about to become parents?
One last spend.. take photos and show your child in 15 years time how much it meant to find he/she was on the way..
XX

fluffnutter

When is the meal? When I was first pregnant all I wanted to do was eat potatoes, vomit and sleep. Some poncy chef coming round and rustling up a bit of haute cuisine would not appeal.