Nst; fearless february

cupcake-queen

Bobarella wrote: »

I took part in a twitter chat last night that was sponsored by Scottish Widows and had a couple of financial bods helping moderate it. The topic was Women And Finance. It was actually surprising the amount of households that seem to have seperate finances. With many saying things like 'my husband thinks because he works more he deserves to spend more' or 'I wouldnt want to know every coffee my husband buys, he deserves some freedom'
It just made me wonder how hard it is to work things seperartely, and how that impacts on your shared financial goals. Sorry to jump on your comment, but it just seemed to echo that sentiment.

When I worked full time we had a joint account and even though he earned more than me things were split fairly evenly but it did mean that he would pay for meals out and treats etc. Long story but everything went wrong a few years back and by this point we had 2 sons and I was on maternity leave. I cut everything, cancelled our accounts paid 2 months rent by myself leaving me with the debt I'm in now. It however made me realise that I can't rely on him - sad that may seem but I can't. 3 years of suffering depression partly as result of his behaviour but partly due to babies and work I'm now here ready to deal with the £3000 I racked up during this time. I still get angry that some of that money was his responsibility but life is far too short, I need to move on get rid of the debt and stop dwelling on things. It after all is only about £3000 - it's not a scary amount.


Turning this experience to a positive, like I said before, I learnt I can't rely on him. We have a 5 and 3 year old, we live out in the sticks and I don't drive. This makes working difficult. I have clocked up 10 years service at a well know department store where I work 2 days a week. In return I am rewarded with the equivalent of 6 weeks holiday a year (12 days), a pension, generous discount and an annual bonus (looking forward to March) but the pay isn't great. Over the last couple of years I have been working to set up my own business and I registered nearly a year ago. Yesterday I received great news from my accountant AKA MUM!!! I have turned a profit in the first year (haven't been taking a wage though) I hope that by next year I will be able to start taking a wage from my business so therefore 2 incomes from 2 jobs. I'm reluctant to leave my job at the department store because many of my customers are the people I work with and I would lose those ties.


As you can see I joined this forum in 2011 under the user name cupcake-queen. At that point I never would have imagined that by 2014 I would have my own cake making and decorating business!

thriftylass

Well done cupcake-queen and good luck for the future of your business.

Today should be another SFD.

The start of the week I've been going through the attic and thought I didn't find much for ebay. Well I don't want to get too excited just yet but there might actually be quite a bit there. I found my dad's old composite animal, indians and cowboy collection. They don't really sell on ebay, but there is quite a bit of a collectors market in Germany. So I just contacted someone to point me in the right direction for selling them. Fingers crossed

MagicCat

Hello lovely turtles,

Hope you are all OK.

Lilt - :eek:to that salary! Is it wrong that I immediately thought if I earned that, I'd only need to do about 6 weeks a year?! I don't think that's how it works, sadly!:rotfl:

Interesting thoughts about women and finance. We have a joint account, but over the last year have been trying to live off OH's salary alone, paying mine to the debts or to deal with whatever building crisis has come up that month, which worked well for us - but I suppose it's just different ways of thinking about it, we could just as easily have said we both pay x towards the debt, and split out the bills between us. Fmess - difficult decision for you, I like the idea of percentage split, would be interested to try that for us in the future - but I agree, it would be better to be debt free first. The whole point of the percentage split would seem to me to make things equal between you - and it wouldn't be equal if you were paying debts on top, particularly if they were from joint purchases/living costs in the past?

Loveadove Hope you here soon from uni - ignore the inner voice, it is never right (unless it's saying good things about you!;))

Mothernerd - hope things are feeling a bit better


Thriftylass - good news on the possible sale items, hope you find a buyer

Not much news from me - worked late yesterday, so didn't order birthday pressie, but will do it at the weekend as determined not to lose a SFD! Slow cooker on for veg soup later, I'm no where near as good with the fruit and veg as so many in here!

Have a good day all.

SFD: 3/15
Groceries: 72.38/£200
Dentist/optician 5/£20
Petrol and travel: 15.01/£110
Birthdays: 0/£30
Social: 0/£40
Food bank donation - done
15 mins/day - this will be decluttering or mindfulness meditation 4/28
Exercise 4/25

Calling14

Feeling brighter today, was so down in the dumps yesterday. Think living alone, working most of the day alone is not great at times, plus the debt cloud looming over your shoulder.

Good news today paid off 108.25 off cards. Forget which turtle suggested dividing debt into100 boxes and colouring them in. Well I am hooked 5 boxes coloured in paid off 297.25 so far this year.

Hugs to everyone needing them.

Another SFD today, was given a pound by friend to buy Grandson some sweets so may have popcorn and movie night with him. Made a rocket out of cardboard boxes yesterday, cost nothing and he sat in there all night with a big smile on his face. Who needs expensive toys.

Suns out to cheer us turtles up x

Synonymous

Hey everyone, first time posting on this thread so far as research has been taking over. Had ups and downs after splitting up with bf but going ok and got lots to get on with

• Set your DFD (Debt Free Day) - no debt, but want to get to 60% LTV on my mortgage before deal ends Jul 2016. Also want to open and fund a stocks and shares ISA before end of tax year.
• You will pay towards your debt FIRST and live on what’s left. Choose the amount now. £200 overpayment on mortgage per month plus any extra I save.
• Set all budgets before the start of the month, think ahead for any birthdays, outings etc.

1. Food £40 for month (one person, reduced by £10) keep meal planning and using Aldi.
2. Travel £160 - includes two new tyres and car battery and one tank of petrol, hopefully will come in lower.
3. Outings/Social £100 less petrol to see bf, but more time with friends - friend coming one weekend, one night out, one meditation weekend, plan something for what would have been Valentine's/anniversary with ex.

• Random Rule for February 15 minutes a day - will spend this in meditation.
  

Other Rules

• Aim for 15 SFD (Spend Free day or No Spend day) will be aiming for 18 again.
• Focus on changes you need to make will try and print off my targets - I find the finances easy but not the exercise/physio/meditation/fruit and veg targets.
• You will NOT use any of the following; takeaways, restaurants, cafes, work canteens, vending machines, Starbucks, Costa, Nero or any other chain cafe! Go to local bakery Sat morns with friends - costs £3, no others.
• Lunch to work every day and plan for appointments and days out. Will do, this will also be most of my exercise.
• Healthy eating – up your fruit and veg. If you are already getting your 5 a day (if not why not?) go for 7. Will make you feel better (especially if free or ys) and may help ward off all those annoying bugs which come with the changing seasons. Will try, find this hard, will put more veg in meals.
• Make a food bank donation (choose your own amount)
• Exercise 5 times a week, newbies and poorlies start with 10 minutes a day, get outdoors wherever possible. WTW and allotment.

Hugs to everyone who needs them, mothernerd, keep your chin up, you are doing really well with your recovery and inspire me when I need a kick up the bum with how strong you are being.

Fmess, with reference to your joint finances, I would definitely stand your ground for all the reasons you said, and don't be afraid to tell him those reasons. Stick to your principles on the debt coming first so you can start with a clean slate, even more so as he was an accomplice in the debt! I don't know if you read Mr Money Moustache's blog, but he would say you are in a debt emergency and nothing is more important than clearing that debt as quickly as possible for your own sanity, your finances, your future and for the amount that could go down the drain in interest payments the longer it takes. (Hope this doesn't sound harsh, I'm not lecturing you about debt, but assuring you that you are right in your stance, I practically shouted "No Way!" when you said he wanted to start the new split straight away.) I will look for the MMM post on debt emergency, although it's not for the faint-hearted; he dishes out a lot of tough love, liberally sprinkled with profanity

Congrats to LondonGirl on the new job, hello to all the newbies and returning turtles and hugs to anyone who needs them, this is a great place where we can all battle on to our different targets together. x

Bobarella

Hi All
Sorry to light the fuse on the women & finance topic & then not return, not being rude, but I havent been feeling well since yesterday evening. In a nut shell totally wiped out. I am hoping I pick up again soon. Anyway suffice to say, really interesting to see the range of how we all do it.
I have been with my OH for 15 years, married for 8. We've lived together since the first 6 months as well so a long time to try and 'perfect' our systems, but, as life changes constantly we've evolved with them too. He is 8 years older than me, so when we first met I was in Uni & he was Mr Moneybags. Or so I thought. But it turned out he was struggling a fair bit, not to any really bad extent, but he had a loan, no pension, OD etc. He was almost 30 then.
I helped him get sorted out, & as I was still at Uni & had loans from that, plus lowly student finances to match, he paid pretty much the lions share for the first couple of years. I had jobs like checkout chick in the evening, but still he paid for most of it.
Then I got my first job after graduation & progressed pretty well from there up to the age of 30 when I stopped work to look after our first child. After I went back again, we had the delight that is childcare to fund, and as I worked 4 days per week, in central london, that was pretty hefty. So then we were really skint, but again managing.
In 2011 my dad died, & I was made redundant in the space of about 3 months. My dad had left me some money & I was feeling so disollusioned by the corporate life, that I decided to step off the ladder & start my own business. So I spent a year doing that. Then ran it from there. And then money got REALLY tight. I went from earning around £2,500 a month to £650 if I was lucky. And that was only if everyone else had been paid first, and I could juggle the bills to allow it. So now the challenge for us has been learning to manage with a self employed lifestyle. Especially one that has been problematic to say the least...
We have a business account, which I pay myself from (when I can) a joint account, and 2 single accounts. Our shared goals at the moment are maxing out our emergency fund, paying down the debt ASAP, & sticking to the budget.
Although OH contributes more financially to the household, I contribute more in terms of financial management, keeping our situation together at home aka cooking,cleaning, decluttering. But he is a good man, and has always done a lot of childcare. Especially as my business includes weekend working, but he never complains. He runs every financial decision past me, and we log every £ we spend on my phones free software. He tells me all the time Im amazing (which I dont believe) so anyway, long post, but thats us

Bob

Bobarella

cupcake-queen wrote: »

As you can see I joined this forum in 2011 under the user name cupcake-queen. At that point I never would have imagined that by 2014 I would have my own cake making and decorating business!

Enormous congratulations to you!:j you sound like youve gone through so much to make this business work. And I can wholeheartedly say, if I could go back and do it all again, I'd never have quit paid employment cold turkey to start a business, but hindsight is a wonderful thing.

liltdiddylilt

Hi guys

Quick check in as struggling with yet another cold right off the back of the last one. Didn't even manage dinner last night, just went to bed so the chorizo and butterbean soup was for todays lunch instead. Got leftover chicken and salad tonight.

Spend day but incredibly worthwhile. Mum started chemo yesterday and she is shaving her head to raise money for a local family whose son has cystic fibrosis as she is losing it anyway. She bought me a hoody she knew I would like and then refused to let me pay for it, so £16 donated to her fundraiser instead she is up to £91 this morning bless her!

NSD's: 3/15
WTW/LTW: 2 for 2
Donation: £26 this month Trussel Trust & Mum

fmess doesn't it just make you wish you had never brought it up. The selfishness of our OH's never fails to astound me. Maybe you should write down a list of the joint things that accrued your debt and bill him equally on those too, as per your other bills. If he can't see the value in minimising interest and getting rid of the debt more quickly then personally I would not be putting any money in pots that may benefit him. I know that seems harsh but sometimes things really irritate me and men not listening/taking only what they want to hear on board really gets to me!! Obviously I know he is your OH and you love him but... :mad: on your behalf!! xx

mothernerd hope you are feeling a bit better today be gentle with yourself and have that heating on as much as you need it! xx

MagicCat

Lilt your mum sounds such a lovely lady :A Really hope chemo goes well (you know what I mean, as well as something like that can, it's such a horrible process) and her fundraising makes loads. Thinking of you all.

shyspender

First spend day of the month today and boy was it a doozey!

Had the day off today. Car service warning came on the other day, so booked the car in for it's service today. Went to the brand garage because I knew where it was (only moved a few months ago) and I've had all the servicing done so far by the brand garage. That was enough money as it was. Then get the call, your brakes are down to about 5% and your exhaust is hanging on by an elastic band! I knew about the exhaust, saw something hanging down from it the other day. So, the car has cost me £600 today. Thankfully, I have a yearly expenses pot so it didn't hurt, only in the total.

Arrived at work on Monday and went to my drawer to get my glasses. No glasses. Remembered I put them in my fleece pocket on my last day (last Thursday) when I had to go to a different office for some training. Check pocket, no glasses. Ring the office, no glasses. Go and check the car in case they had fallen out, no glasses. Have a recollection of finding them in pocket at home and putting them on the sofa to keep them safe, get home, no glasses. So, I had the pleasure of a migraine at work. Monday night I had to find my spare pair. Not a problem, I knew they were in a box. Just not which box. Luckily for me they were in the first box that I tried.

Anyways, due to losing one pair, I booked in at the opticians for today. Came out of there £175 lighter. Again, it came out of the yearly pot. Got two new pairs, the old spares will be kept as very very spares and will be put in a cast iron safe and memorable place. Also got some anti light glare coating on them. I know it's a gimmick but I'm willing to give it a go.

So, as I was spending I popped into Sainsburys, twice. Only had £2 in cash on me and dropped the car off a little too early for that to cover the parking until after my appointment. So I went in the first time to get the voucher money back and got some spuds and food bags. Then went in the second time to get the second voucher back and they had new bigger spuds out, so I got more and some popcorn. The bonus of this is that the £2 was free money. I found it in my back pocket! So £2 got me three hours of parking, and I got the £2 back from the first visit and £1 back from the second. So the £2 was actually only £1. Bonus!
Said spuds are now baking in the oven. Two will be for supper the rest will be prepped for the freezer. Day off tomorrow too and I am babysitting my friends little boy, they have to go to a funeral and I didn't think it was fair for him to have to go. Nursery in the morning and then we will play cars and trains for the rest of the day. Going to make a slow cooker chicken curry for his Mum, Dad and big Sister. Pretty sure the last thing my friend will want to do when she gets home is cook.