Struggling

Pollycat

bexs2247 wrote: »

It was all exciting leading up to the move, stressful, but exciting. Now I just feel upset.

Maybe you're just feeling a bit flat because you've been planning for ages for the move, now it's all done and you feel a bit directionless?

Maybe look at what needs doing in your new house (if anything) and start making new plans.

9 years is quite a long time to live in a house so you're bound to feel a bit strange.

bexs2247 wrote: »

Hopefully you are all right. My partner is very much of the kind to just get on with things and deal with them lol. He knows I'm not very good with change. Changed my job in 2011 and am still not 100% settled in there and if I could I would go back to my old job like Lightning!!

It does sound like you don't deal with change very well, so it may be just a case of having to get used to the new house.

I'm sure you'll soon tune out the road noise.

bexs2247

jaylee3 wrote: »

Just curious Bex, but why did you move?

I had a shared ownership house in not the best area. My partner and I wanted to buy together in the area we both grew up in.

tea_lover

I cried for a week after we moved lol. I thought I'd be desperate to leave my old house (it was SOOOO cold), but it was still home for nearly 10 years, and it was all mine. I was really surprised by how much I missed it. If I could have bought my old house again that first week I really would have done!

The new house was so much better on paper (more space, lovely garden, parking, space for a garage, lovely area, first house with my OH) - just took some time to adjust.

Four years down the line and this house is completely home to me. We might have to sell as the relationship is probably ending and I'm gutted that I don't think I can afford it on my own.

As others have said, it will be fine Have you unpacked properly yet? I hate disorder and found it difficult to settle while there were boxes and paint tins everywhere.

fluffnutter

bexs2247 wrote: »

Hi, not sure if this is the right place for this but anyway.....we moved into our new house on Monday, our first house purchase together so it should be a happy time but I don't feel happy. I feel really unsettled, miss my old house, worried we've made the wrong decision and bought the wrong house. I don't know what to do to make it better.

My OH likes it here and the things that bother/worry me don't seem to effect him.

I just feel like crying 😒

You've got the moving blues! I hate moving. Makes me miserable for weeks. You're just adjusting to your new home and everything feels unfamiliar and unsettling. It's completely normal and in a few months you'll be happy as anything.

KxMx

Try and crack on with the unpacking, getting familiar things around you may help.

lisa110rry

Oh Bex! Here's another TWO votes for "this is normal".

A friend who lives just down the lane moved into her home about 17 years ago. She had moved from a rural home to a relatively nearby village on the main lane, so there was more traffic noise and she hated it. She had a 2 year old and a babe in arms and had just lost her father in tragic circumstances. She was desperately unhappy for a while. Would she move from her beautiful home now? No chance!

For my part, we moved north when my husband was promoted, 28 years ago next month. I was so desperately unhappy about moving from the little house where our son was born that I simply sat in the window seat while the removal people packed up my life and my home. I cried when "Leaving on a Jet Plane" came on the car radio. Fast forward 28 years. I can no more imagine moving from this home than I can imagine flying to Manchester on wings. It took me a few months to get to this point though...

Lunar_Eclipse

bexs2247 wrote: »

I never thought I was that attached to my old house but I guess I was more attached than I thought. I had been there just over 9 years.

Totally normal and will (should) get better. Firstly you're probably exhausted and perhaps a bit stressed, which in turn can make you more emotional or react differently than normal.

I have also moved recently and without going in to details, it was an incredibly stressful time (not that I fully appreciated it at the time.) We both never liked our old house, but having lived there for 12/13 years, we obviously were used to it and our girls have basically grown from toddlers to teenagers in that house, with fantastic neighbours and friends. It was safe, familiar and comfortable.

Loved new house from the second we saw it. (It's in a new area.) But I have also felt like you. And DH has felt like your partner: just gets on with it, not affected in the slightest by his surroundings and just thinks 'great, this house is much nicer to be in' - which is true.

My advice: it's the small things that make a house feel like a home. Surrounding yourself with your favourite things such as pictures, lamps and candles helped me loads. They make it look and feel homely, and are much nicer to look at than a stack of cardboard boxes waiting to be unpacked! Then I do believe it takes time. Time to become familiar with your new surroundings so that you feel comfortable and settled. It's not usually possible to feel those things immediately.

bexs2247

Thanks all. Not sure if I'm feeling any better today, busy day at work then a few hours doing stuff round the house. Now sitting down. Can still hear the road and I was stressing about it on the way home so I think Im thinking about it too much to be homest

pollypenny

It's probably because it doesn't feel like home yet. It takes time, can take a long time, especially if there's work to do there.

Although we've been here 27 years, it feels different as it's not the place where the children were little.

Wait until the 'newness' has worn off.

pinkshoes

You should try living with my in-laws for over 3 months. A cardboard box next to the M25 becomes appealing... :-o

It's a normal reaction to a new house, and it can take months to settle in. I still miss my flat that I sold when I moved in with DH. You'll be amazed how quickly you get used to the road noise. Just think of all the good things rather than the things that aren't so good! No such thing as a perfect house...

We get our new house on Monday