Struggling

bexs2247

krlyr wrote: »

I've been in our house over 3 years and I still miss 'my' old house (didn't own in but it had been rented in our family since before I was even born - my brothers and I continued to rent it together as adults). 9 years is a long time, and you won't settle in under a week. I know when we were buying, you don't even really consider if your house until you have those keys and you're in, in case it all falls through - so you're getting to the end of a stressful process and the reality of it is hitting you.

As others have said, have a good cry, give it time, put some personal touches on the house. My old house had a train track nearby that I barely even acknowledged - yet I noticed all the airplane noise and the hum of the M25 in the distance at the new house. They're just new noises, your brain will learn to tune them out.

The things I miss about the old house get outweighed by the positives - OK, I preferred the location of the old house, but the land surrounding it was sold on a year or two after we moved so the lovely farmyard setting won't stay there forever. The quiet road is replaced with a slightly busier one, but with that comes that social aspect - everyone down the road nods and says good morning, I feel safer when OH is travelling with work, we're not so isolated in bad weather.

There will be negatives - if the house was perfect then a) it'd already be sold and b) it would have cost you a lot more than you paid! But it's a case of coming to terms with the pros and cons. If the latter really outweighs the former, even when you've given it time, it's still not impossible to change things - selling will cost money, yes, but you're not forced to pick one house and stay in it for eternity.

Yeah, I know we don't have to stay here for ever. I would hope to be here a fair few years. Hopefully I will be able to tune the road noise out soon. Especially once we get some curtains up in the lounge (hoping that will help reduce it a little bit) and get some chicken wire across the front gate just in case the doggy gets out.

bexs2247

belfastgirl23 wrote: »

Another vote for normal.

I still occasionally dream about our old house and miss it a little even though I love my current house. Which I've been in for nearly 10 years lol. I loved the old house too though..

And don't forget you can always make changes. If you don't like noise, sleep to the other side of the house. Or think about getting double glazing down the line. Traffic noise is often worst at this time of year as well, roads are wet and slushy and people are a lot more likely to drive than walk or cycle. Also you do get used to it after a while.

Moving is overwhelming. Try to think about why you chose this house to start with. Remind yourself of the reasons why you bought it to start with - those advantages won't have gone. Be honest that you miss your old house. That's ok. But it doesn't mean you shouldn't have moved...

Luckily the noise doesn't effect the bedroom as we are at the back. It's just in the lounge.

JoW123

bexs2247 wrote: »

Hopefully you are all right. My partner is very much of the kind to just get on with things and deal with them lol. He knows I'm not very good with change. Changed my job in 2011 and am still not 100% settled in there and if I could I would go back to my old job like Lightning!!

You've admitted you don't like change so it's not surprising you are feeling a bit overwhelmed, especially now the excitement is over. Let time pass and you will settle and maybe realise good things about the new house that the old one didn't have.

Aldeney

Slightly different situation but I was in a rented house for 8 years. I was really attached to the house for sentimental reasons and couldn't imagine living anywhere else but last August my landlord decided to sell and as we couldn't afford to buy we had to move, had no other choice. In the end we had to move just before Christmas and everything seemed to go wrong and I hated the new house we rented, nothing really wrong with it, it just wasn't 'home'.

I was upset for a while, longed for my home and had lots of cries. If I could have stayed where I was I would. However, 5 weeks on and I feel so different. I love it here and wouldn't move back. Given time I hope you will also adjust and come to love your new home but it is hard when you have been living somewhere for so long.

nearlyrich

You will stop hearing the road noise I grew up on an estate with few cars and when I moved out into my first house in my early 20's we were on a main road it did keep me awake for a while but after 30 years on this road ( not the same house) I only hear the road on a night like tonight when it's snowing and people are revving their engines like crazy.. hope you settle soon.

bexs2247

Fingers crossed. Back to work tomorrow so maybe routine will help

yorkshire_terrier_owner

I moved house nearly 2 years ago. I had been desperate to move as I hated the location of my old house.

I felt exactly the same as you after I moved. In the end I came to the conclusion that it was the anti-climax after the move I had been building up to for so long. It took a few months, but now I love my new house, and am really happy here. It feels like home now and I'm so glad now that I moved here.

Hope that helps :-)

Bitsy_Beans

Admittedly my last house move was a relocation 90 miles away from friends and family so that was an added emotional stress but the day we moved I stood in my empty kitchen and sobbed
The house I was leaving was my children's first home, it had a lovely garden, huge conservatory and lovely neighbours. Lots and lots of lovely memories from within those walls.
You will adjust and move on but it takes a while for the new house to feel just like your new home.

Melonade

Moving house is very stressful no matter how much excitement there is on the lead up to it.

The second move for me and OH was awful. The first morning I woke up there I literally couldn't get out of bed, I was just ill... even after moving out of a damp flat with a newborn!! I was convinced we'd done the wrong thing.

The third move was worse. I was so bad I could barely eat and my whole insides felt like they were being shook none stop. It was so bad I felt like Id tore my stomach muscles because I was so tense and trying to stop the feeling. In the end it was the place I was most happiest.

I'm now back in my family home and although I'm happy I have found it difficult to settle in. I know I will eventually and it's very different from the last place so that has made it feel weird.

You'll get used to the road sounds, eventually you'll hardly notice it. I bet in a few weeks time you don't feel nearly as bad as you do right now. Living somewhere and feeling settled is a big deal and it will take some time before it really feels like home. BUT you have to make a home and that takes time.

jaylee3

Just curious Bex, but why did you move?