What was your life like at 23?

Davesnave

At 23 I was in my penultimate year at uni,catching up, having sowed some wild oats earlier on.

I'd nothing planned, but by then it seemed likely that I'd enter my chosen profession, despite having initially signed-up for the dubious reasons that: (a) they would take me, and (b) there were 5 females to every male in my area of study!

I think it had just dawned on me that I enjoyed what I was doing and had some proficiency. This was a revelation to an ex-grammar school lad, who'd disliked academic work and gained the impression he was a bit thick.

So, it was around 23 when I stopped drinking to excess, smoking 'certain substances' and thinking rock n'roll could change the world. In other words I'd just about made it into adulthood.

Always a late developer.....

PlymouthMaid

At 23 I had just started my degree at Plymouth Polytechnic after 4.5 years as a civil servant in Greater London. I felt young but not as young as the other undergraduates although my particular course did have lots of mature students. I think I felt relatively 'old' in the years prior to 23 though as the thought of being in that job until I was 60 was so depressing.

alb1

At 23, I'd not long left uni having done a degree and postgrad diploma. I'd just started a low level job in my chosen field, with the aim of working my way up over the next couple of years. I was living in a house share in an amazing house (moved in on my 23rd birthday) with my boyfriend and another couple, with whom we'd been good friends for a few years at uni. Unfortunately, while the girls had jobs the boys struggled to find work and the other couple had to move away 6 months later to somewhere with better job prospects. The boyfriend and I spent 2 months living out of boxes with a friend of ours, before moving into a house owned by the friend as a BTL property on our own.

Unfortunately, the boyfriend and I split a couple of years later, and 2 years on things are still very complicated. I now live in the house we shared alone, while his parents bought him a house to move out into. Job wise, I've moved areas within the field and probably have to give up on the dream job as a result. There's a possibility I could qualify into a related position (essentially doing what I am now with a different title) but my company won't pay for the course and there's no way I could afford it on my low wages. My brother, who is significantly less qualified than me, earns approx £8k a year more than I do purely because I moved away into an area with really poor wages. I've been considering moving in attempt to earn more but I don't know where to. I have no real links with anywhere in particular and the dreams I had seem to be slipping further and further away in all honesty.

sweetme

At 23 year old I was married with a toddler and pregnant :eek:

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Miserable.

My wages didnt cover my rent, council tax, food and travel to work, so each month involved dodging bailiffs, eviction, starvation and sacking from a job that I hated. Well, to be more accurate, I hated the spoiled brats who were paid more than me and made jokes about how fat I was and how I wasn't meeting the dress code for the place by not being able to afford fancy suits and shoes. At the time, my 'fatness' was my weighing about 9 stone 10.

I had a gorgeous looking boyfriend who was a chauvinistic pig who said he was embarrassed by my being fat, until his workmates said they fancied me. But he'd pay for food. Until he lost his job.

I then worked from 6am until 6pm, struggled home on rubbish public transport, ready to start a shift in a pub from 8pm - 1.30am and 11am 2am at weekends. One of the lads working in the kitchens would sneak me meals and taught me how to cook during breaks.

I thought things would get better financially with working so much, but didn't understand why there was no money left in my account from about six days after payday. But at least I could pay my rent and council tax.


On my first day off sick, I opened the door to bailiffs. Turned out that the boyfriend had been withdrawing the rent money to 'pay it', paying a tenner and then spending the rest, going back to the account throughout the month and intercepting the mail so I had no idea what was going on. I also discovered I had a credit card that was over its limit and had been defaulted on. I was over £4000 in debt and exhausted.

I dumped the leech and made arrangements to repay the debts. There wasn't enough evidence to charge him, nor was there enough evidence that it wasn't me who had taken out the credit.

I lost both jobs and had to temp. The money was sporadic and travel expensive, but I found out I was pretty quick at learning things, could bluff my way through almost anything and could train people very convincingly after an hour of working it out for the first time myself.


I had to sell my guitar. I cried. It only went for £30 when it was worth hundreds and I lost fifteen years of playing it, as I couldn't afford another.


I had nothing other than debt and a chronic case of exhaustion.


I would like to be able to tell my 22 year old self that I was gorgeous, get rid of the useless bloke, take a deep breath and pack myself and my guitar off to university, and thereby save myself everything that followed. Turns out that, had I done that, I'd have found myself at the same university and on the same course at the sane time as my now OH. Which would have been weird.

But I can't. So there's no point in worrying about it.


You've got so much time ahead of you - don't ever forget to have fun and make sure you have experiences to remember, as, even with the rough times, I do have stories about stupid jobs I did, such as having to dress up as a dolphin for kids' parties, or working in hospitals where very famous people were patients, etc, or having a fairly exhaustive knowledge of every town and their public transportation for a thirty mile radius, as I've worked in all of them at some point.


Don't be in a hurry to be settled and old. Travel, take risks, see bands, wear daft clothes, colour your hair blue and enjoy every moment. Having a fancy house, a white wedding and the same job all your life is nowhere as precious as knowing you've been living.

HOWMUCH

I was 23 way back in 1978, I had a good career in computer industry the earning more than most men. I had been married for 2 years but no children they came along much much later which was different for those days most people started having children after about 2 years of marriage. I really enjoyed that year I went America for 3 weeks which was most unusual and now its normal for alot of people how times change. I went from Niagra Falls in Canada to Clearwater in Florida had 3 days at Disney world it had only been opened for 7 years back then. Oh I was driving a cool car my son tells me it was a Ford Mexico 1600 you should have kept it mum, but I went on to sell it for a Ford RS 2000 which he then tells me was a classic and I should have kept that too. So yes I enjoyed being 23.

balancelife

23 was my most favourite age! I had been married 4 months, was enjoying my first job after uni and had been there just over a year so felt settled and competent lol and we were into the second year of our mortgage.
A few weeks after turning 23 I was pregnant with our first and so by the time I turned 24 I had a tiny baby, was on maternity leave and meeting lots of mums and enjoying being at home.

lady1964

I got married 4 months after turning 23 and had our first DD the month before I turned 24.

We were living in the 3 bed detached house that my DH had bought just before we met when I was 22 and he was 23. It was 90 miles away from our families & because I stopped working when I was around 4 months pregnant, I felt quite isolated as I didn't really make any friends until I was quite far along in my pregnancy. Financially we struggled a bit as we only had the one income, which was a good one but the interest rate on our mortgage was high, payments were high. I didn't return to work as childcare costs would have taken almost all any salary I would have got.

That was all nearly 28 years ago, we've lived overseas twice, moved house (apart from the overseas moves) twice, had another 2 DD's and living comfortably and mortgage free.

I enjoyed being a new mum and having our own home but I don't miss the struggles, life is so much easier now!

Buzzybee90

GoldenShadow wrote: »

Prompted partly by the life at 40 thread, by sheer nosiness and the fact I am ill and need something interesting to keep looking at today to keep me sane!

What was your life like at 23? Did you feel young, old, happy, sad?

23 feels old to me at this moment in time (I have another four hours of being 22!) but I only came out of full time education last year so don't feel I've accomplished much. I do have a lovely boyfriend of three years, two gorgeous dogs and we're (slowly) saving for a house deposit. Career wise I got the grad job of my dreams so have been very lucky (and there was much stress on the way there...). I seem to have this (bad?!) habit of signing up for very difficult things, but I guess it's good to push myself whilst I am 'young' as everyone tells me.

Biggest goal is to buy our own home. I'd quite like my own horse again at some point but, alas, have learnt money doesn't grow on trees. Maybe that will be a pipe dream and I will stick with the dogs...

So how about you, what were you like at 23, and perhaps, what are you like now, too?

OP our stories are very similar. I am trying to live life a little more while, as you say, we are young and (reasonably) responsibility free.

parisianskies

When I turned 23, I'd just lost my grad job, I still lived at home with my parents, desperately hunting for a new job to move out with my boyfriend of 5 years.

I turned 26 almost a month ago. By this time, I had a full time job relevant to my degree, I'd moved to Manchester, bought my first (new build) home and married that boyfriend I mentioned last March.

Life can look a little bleak at times, but you never know what is just around the corner.