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Off on our adventure....Jan 2015
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Well done on the list completions!
It is not at all selfish to say no to having the grandkids on a work day or when they are ill. If your children are not happy about it, then that's them being selfish not you. If you don't look after your health, you won't be able to have them at all!
Thank you for saying that. I know you are right, but I seem to have this deep inset part of me that says I should do all I can to help. I've always been like that, putting other people first and not thinking about the consequences on myself and my life. I really must try harder to put myself first.This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com0 -
Well done on the list completions!
It is not at all selfish to say no to having the grandkids on a work day or when they are ill. If your children are not happy about it, then that's them being selfish not you. If you don't look after your health, you won't be able to have them at all!
I agree wholeheartedly with what Jwil is saying. Your kids should be grateful for everything you do to help them and understand when you can't do it or need to cut back.
I have two small kids (one nursery age and one school age) and they have both been in full time childcare since I went back to work after having them. My parents still work and do help us out when we're in a pickle (i.e. if i'm travelling with work and the school calls with a sick kid or something) but ultimately they're my kids and it's my responsibility to make sure they're cared for. It has cost us a fortune over the last six years but it was our decision.
It's lovely that you want to spend time with your grandkids, but you're right - it can't come at the detriment to your health. I'd like to think that if you tell your kids what you are now happy to commit to (with a bit of notice so they can make other arrangements) that they'd be understanding and not off about it.
There's a lot of culture these days (and I'm not pointing at your kids particularly, or anyone else, just a personal observation) that it's a grandparent's job or duty to look after the grandkids while the parents work. And while that works for some families, i actually think it's really unfair on the grandparents. They've worked their whole lives and when they retire, they take on more or less another full time job.
Anyway, just wanted to share my thoughts with you and let you know that I don't think you're being unreasonable at all and I don't think you've any reason to feel guilty. Your family are lucky to have you.Sealed Pot Challenge 075
Pay off by Xmas 2019 #02 - target £10,0000 -
Thank you Homegrown0
You are right in what you say and I'm sure my daughter will understand, think its just me being typically "me"...lol. I just find it hard to say no, I suppose.This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com0
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