The Ultimate Incentive Part 11 (or 10B) It's The Final Countdown

Lara44

God, I can relate Dinah. It's so hard when at home with the little ones. It is boring sometimes! I buy on ebay or selling groups which minimises the damage. And of course because we are going away I have told myself no advance purchases beyond the next size up. But it's so difficult getting a sense of accomplishment sometimes you think "great that's x sorted" and it's a really nice feeling. It sounds like you've come to a place where you can see a better way. Time to make a list of some nice treats you can do instead of buying. Tricky to keep the faith when the kids are being demanding. I know you can do it! Big massive hugs.

Birdie85

Wow, well done for coming clean about your problem Dinah, I hope you manage to beat it! It's so difficult because we do need to shop and it's hard to draw the line between the necessities and the nice to haves, and that line gets more and more blurred.

If you have shopping apps on your phone/tablet how about deleting them so you have to go through the motions of actually searching for the website and maybe taking the time/effort you'll realise what you're doing and stop... I know that my Amazon and ebay apps are far too easy to use and I find myself buying on there without even noticing!

Have you got anything bought in the last month that can be returned? Small steps and all, but may make you feel a bit better if you can get some refunds.

Massive hugs for you Wendz, I'm really sorry that things got so bad you've separated. Hope you've got lots of support around you to help with Poppy and the bump and don't be afraid to ask for help. Please make sure you're keeping well for your new baby girl's sake too. We're all here for you to give virtual hugs, cookies and an impartial ear to bend as and when required xxx

Dinah93

Ben is a slightly different case because he is rapidly growing and we have very little beyond his current size, Grace needs nothing until she grows out of her current shoes. I need nothing. NIM needs nothing. So for Ben when he needs the next size up I will buy him second hand bits on fb or nearly new sales. I've decided not to buy him vests or tshirts in 6-9 months, I'm just jumping straight to 9-12 months.

Thank you for understanding comments so far.

Dinah93

I only shop on the web as I find it easier to browse than on an app. I do have the ebay app but I only use it for selling. Been returning anything I can.

Have a lot of parcels to wrap today, ziffit/zapper/music magpie/amazon trade ins. £42 total but £42 that Will Not Be Spent!!!

Birdie85

Zach's still in some 9-12 (he's skinny but tall so wears a mix of 6-9, 9-12 and 12-18!) but I've recently taken some 6-9 and 9-12 vests and t-shirts etc out of the drawer and put them in a 'don't know what to do with this stuff yet' pile, do you want me to send you some basic bits?

Well done on the trade ins!

shrimpy_80

Wendz, really sorry to hear your news, sending lots of virtual hugs your way. It must be a really tough time for you, take care of yourself and remember we are all here if and when you need us xx

Dinah - I think part of the MSE stuff is that you become so attuned to bargains, it can be easy to see them as saving rather than spending. Its hard to see what you actually need and would buy anyway rather than what it extra. You have had an awful lot to cope with over the past few years and I wonder if this is a side effect of the stress etc, buying 'stuff' as way of buying security almost? Your plan sounds like a good one, I think simplicity is the key and a spending diary will definitely be helpful. Good to hear you have NIM's support x

wendz86

Thanks all, means a lot xx

Dinah - that is good you have managed to admit it to NIM and sounds like you have some good ideas in place to cut down your spending. It is so easy to spend money on the kids as feels like guilt free spending but they don't need it all. I am also bad for going to supermarket and buying things i don't need.

Hope your mum is doing ok now.

Cinny91

Just want to send you lots of hugs and support, Wendz. I really don't know what to say other than I hope you're all okay, I think everyone else has said everything I was thinking xxx

Also so so happy you've had another full-blown lightbulb moment, Dinah I'm sure you feel so much better for starting to tackle things more head on! And I'm proud of you for finding the courage to talk to NIM about it rather than deciding to handle it all internally. You've so got it!

Think you have awesome goals in mind, I find that when it comes to money setting myself goals and time-limits is one of the best motivators. Like CMD said once that money stops going out on purchases, and starts going off the debts, you're going to see so much change and it'll make it all worth it.

Dinah93

Birdie85 wrote: »

Zach's still in some 9-12 (he's skinny but tall so wears a mix of 6-9, 9-12 and 12-18!) but I've recently taken some 6-9 and 9-12 vests and t-shirts etc out of the drawer and put them in a 'don't know what to do with this stuff yet' pile, do you want me to send you some basic bits?

Well done on the trade ins!

Thanks that would be much appreciated hon.

No spends the last two days, although I did ask NIM to get me a bottle of diet coke after working hard all day I really wanted a treat without breaking the diet. I'll post pictures tomorrow (we all love a good before and after) but today I did the playroom. It's been utter chaos the last few weeks, but now it's well on the way to being beautifully organised. I laid out sheets in the garden and put all the toys outside, then sorted them all, binned broken bits, sorted some to take to the nearly new sale etc. I got about 90% done, but then needed to do kids tea and bedtime routine, so there is a sheet full of toys still to sort but I can't go out and do it as Grace is having one of her nights where she coughs until she's sick if she lays flat, so everytime she rolls off her pillow mountain I need to run in and prop her up again before she wakes or is sick in her bed. What I wouldn't give for her to have healthy lungs.

Also have a good diary idea for after I'm done clearing debt, so that's spurring me onwards. Sent a few sold parcels today, and withdrew some funds from paypal. NIMs wages should land in the next few days so we can work out what we can pay off where.

One thing I'm not sure I mentioned is that we set up a regular saver a few months ago, we can't touch the money in there until 2016 but there is £900 so far - lesson being I don't really notice £300 a month going into savings and it builds up fairly quickly, if we could also put our debt regular direct debit overpayments and minimum payments into savings too we'd be saving around £900 a month before we did any extra income earners at all, that would be really something.

NIM saved £600 as a 30th birthday present for me to book us a trip somewhere, either as a couple or as a family. I've asked him to put the money into the joint account and I'll pay it off the debt, then when we get debt free the first thing we will do is build up that fund again. Another little incentive. Plus by then the kids will be older and we might be able to go away for two or three nights rather than one. Grace can cope for two nights but no more, although Ben is such a mamas boy he is happy with his nana but having a very small dependant child and a 3 year old is a lot to ask of grandparents for more than one night I think. Mum paid for most of our family holiday this year, we only had to pay for flights. I agree that I don't think Ben will get anything out of it, but Grace will certainly very very much enjoy two weeks with her grandparents and aunt and uncle. To be honest not going didn't cross my mind at the time, the cost of flights is what I frittered away in a week embarrassingly.

A few ebay sales last night already posted today, and now the kids are asleep (since starting to type this though Grace has been sick twice in her sleep ) I'm going to finally wrap those ziffit/zapper parcels (music magpie already picked up), and the one Amazon sale I've made this week which I need to book a courier for. Also need to send my phone off, fell out my pocket onto the tiles when I bent to pick up Grace a few days ago and the glass shattered. £140 to be fixed in town or £32 to be sent away for a repair, only downside is NIM managed to leave his phone in his pocket when he took Grace swimming at the weekend so he's using our spare.

Need to actually register for the nearly new sales actually... also very very much need to send my passport off to the head office to check if its still valid - Grace decided to colour the back page in with orange felt tip! We go to Ireland in a hair over 2 months for his cousin's wedding and I really don't want to be turned away at the airport.

Dinah93

So, to do for today:
1. 30 day challenge apps
2. Yoga mela
3. Register for NCT Darlington & Teesside next nearly new sales
4. Finish tidying the playroom
5. Batch cook tagine, cod and chicken with veggies
6. Put in tesco order for essentials we're out of (cereal, grace's juice, most fruit and veg, shampoo, conditioner) - do not go over £30.
7. Package up all returns
8. Take winter clothes to the attic
9. List unused baby monitor on ebay
10. Wrap up ziffit/zapper parcels.

Ambitious list but mum is taking Grace at 4 to stay the night and Ben goes to bed at 7pm so I should have a few uninterrupted hours for once. Shouldn't complain after the initial sickness Grace slept through for the second night in a row, miracle!