The Ultimate Incentive Part 11 (or 10B) It's The Final Countdown

tinkerbel

Wow I missed a lot! Apologies if I forget something or this turns into a mammoth post!!

Dinah well done for selling the slings! that's awesome and much make a massive dint in the debt. I have no clue how much they cost new but it seems like they retain their value quite well!!

Also, everyone seems quite chipper and positive, with all of the debt busting, baby milestones, new things going on! Its great. Does sound like everyone is tired though.. myself included and I don't have a baby or any real reason! Glad the clocks have changed though! Love going home on an evening in the light for once!

Wendz - I hope you are okay, sending big hugs your way and I am thinking of you

Birdie I just read the whole frame saga! I saw it when you posted the frame on fb and thought it looked lovely so I am very happy it was found Also amazing that Zach is walking!! bet he is so cute! do you have to start toddler-proofing the flat? ps - get the bookcase!!

Cinny I thought you were talking about a storage unit like self-store too when you said about it! I was getting all excited thinking about Storage Wars the rubbish (one of my guilty pleasures!) tv shows! Vegas sounds awesome for next year too!

Hope all of the birthday threadies had lovely birthdays! Grace's pictures were SO cute!!! Did she have a lovely party?

Does everyone have nice Easter plans? I am looking forward to the 4 day weeks for sure and am going homehome for the entire weekend so very excited about that.. 2 more days to get through though....

The NCT sale sounds like a fabulous idea Dinah, I hope it goes well and you do well in sales! you really are sounding like your self from the early threads again which is lovely and it sounds like the debt busting is going at a good pace!! Well done!! Looking forward to seeing the plan of action!

I'm still trying to save for a house deposit here.. its going okay but the problem is committing to a place here, having any kind of deposit would have to be sizeable, and right now I think we can afford to rent something a lot nicer/better location than we can afford to buy, so i think I am resigned (fluctuates between reluctantly and happily) that we will just keep saving and then when the time is right hopefully we have a sizeable chunk.. i would rather have a specific, real goal though rather than self-made-up goals which don't really mean anything. Also decided that as I'm not saving for a specific goal I'm going to blow lots of money on holidays this year!

Can't wait for the weekend!!!!

Birdie85

Hey Tink! By the looks of your photos you're enjoying some fabulous holidays!

I did get the bookcase last week and it's made a big difference to the cupboard of doom. Everything is nicely ordered and on display, ahhh, lovely! Flat is semi toddler-proofed, we keep having to put things higher and higher as his reach grows! Need to get some drawer lock thingies though as he's discovered a few drawers... :eek:

Haven't got many plans for the long weekend, it's my nephew's 2nd birthday on Sunday so we're going to his little party but other than that, no plans! Hope the weather is good!

Hope everything is OK with you Wendz

tinkerbel

Hey how is everyone doing? Good bank hokidays? It all went so quickly! But I managed to get to see a lot of people who I haven't seen for FAR too long and also chilled out with nuchos chocolate so it was lovely

This needs to be the year of the holidays I think.. I intend to go away as much as possible and sod the house fund kind of....! Just a shame you only get so much annual leave!!!

Wendz hope you're okay and Dinah how's the debt busting going? Any more great sales? Hoed the nct prep?

Birdie85

Hi, the long weekend did fly by but we crammed a fair bit in so feeling pretty happy about it! So glad the sun came out too, was lovely! It was my nephew's 2nd birthday on Sunday so we went round for his birthday and Zach played with the 'big boys' (2 & 3) and he came away walking more confidently and playing with his own toys better. He must have picked up a lot of tips that day! :cool:

In other big news we finally signed up to Netflix on Sunday night and oh my goodness, there's so much on there I want to watch, I'm glad I get the evenings to myself!

clearmydebts

Morning all. Hope everyone had a fab weekend! We had a really wonderful relaxing weekend away. My parents paid for it and the deal included one meal and we had budgeted for the rest so it felt great to have a guilt free weekend away! The weather was fab as well so the kids were outdoors most of the time.

Birdie85

Sounds lovely CMD

Forgot to add in my last post, anyone fancy going to the Cake and Bake show?!

wendz86

Hi all,

weekend was lovely. Went to my parents sat - sun and then spent yesterday at a friends house and we took kids swimming.

CMD - your weekend sounds like it was lovely.

Birdie -so cute about Zach, they love playing with older children don't they!

Tink - have you got any holidays booked?Holidays sound like a great idea.

Just to let you all know OH and i are separated now, won't go into detail on here but I am doing ok.

Lara44

That sounds like a lovely weekend, Wendz So sorry to hear that you have separated. Big hugs to you, Poppy and bump, it can't be an easy time xxx

Glad you both had lovely weekends too CMD and Birdie. How nice for Zach to have fun with his little pals.

Dinah93

Can't do cake and bake sadly, looks great but we're in Ireland 11th-22nd June for a wedding.

Wendz I've already said it all, but continuing to send hugs and here if you need to talk or rant at any time x

The last three nights Grace has woken between 1.15 and 2.30 and stayed awake until 5.30-6.30. Ben wakes for the day between 6.30 and 7.00. I'm so tired. I don't even know why she's awake. Mum wanted her to stay tonight, I was hesitant as mum was in hospital Thursday and still isn't 100% - think it's gallstones/kidney stones/ovarian cysts but won't know for a few weeks until they do an ultrasound. As it was the bank holiday they sent her home on morphine until more staff were in to run tests. Amazing.

My lightbulb has been flickering for a few months now, but mad as it sounds I've been putting a lot of time and effort into selling things, but I've not managed to rein in my spending. And I've finally faced that I have a very major spending problem. It's not a case of not shopping around and spending £50 on something I can get elsewhere for £10, it's that when I see something for £10 when it should be £50 I have to buy it, and quite possibly several of it. I can not turn down an offer, I have kids clothes ready for the next year or so, I have cupboards full of food that was on offer, then get bored before we've eaten all of it. We must have 20 jars of curry sauce, 10 bottles of squash despite the fact we only have squash for when my brother visits. I have over 100 cookbooks, equipment for every hobby we've ever had, the playroom is so full of toys you can hardly get in it. Grace's bookshelf has so many books there is a pile of overflow as tall as her beside it. I have 5 or 6 magazine subscriptions despite having only enough time to read about 2 magazines a year. I have over 450 books on my kindle (which is only 16 months old) of which only about 150 have been read. I have 6 50litre boxes full of clothes that are either for different weather to now or that don't currently fit, at least one box is stuff that I bought because it was such a great reduction and I love it but it's my pre-Ben size and I bought it while pregnant or just after, and it's taking a lot longer this time to lose the baby weight. It has been over a year since our monthly Amex bill, which is the card we use for our day to day spends (fuel, food and any days out, shopping etc, basically everything that's not a bill) has been under £2000 a month. The amount of money that vanishes on 'bargains' 95% of we don't actually need or don't need at the time is insane.

So last night I faced the fear of a major argument and told NIM I had been spending a lot more than I should have been. He's never checked the bills so as long as they're paid on time he has left me to it. All credit to him he didn't yell, he said he already knew. But he felt I had to come to it in my own time, that he knew it was my way of coping (badly) when stressed or miserable or just bored, same as someone else might drink, smoke or hit the dairy milk.

I feel very lucky to have been able to finally be honest with him, and to have his support. But I also want to change in a way I've never wanted to before. I want more for our family than 'stuff'. So my plan:

1. Cancel Amex, I don't spend anywhere near as much when it comes from the current account.
2. When I'm tempted to browse the online shops use exercise to break the pattern - even a few sun salutations gets me thinking differently.
3. Post on MSE daily with any spends that day (and be honest about them don't miss a day due to embarrassment!)

This is a very, very simple plan simply to tackle the behaviour. Tackling the debt comes after, but first step is to stop overspending and it's at a level where I usually spend over £100 a day, it's hard to do, but I really really want to.

I actually spend very little when I'm out and about, if we meet a friend I'll pay for an activity for Grace, but I won't get a drink in the cafe, I'll walk with the two of them rather than pay to park unless we're wildly late for the hospital. I have a lot more awareness that money is real when it's in my hand rather than on a screen. The only online shopping that really works for me is to plan my meals then buy the groceries online, I spend a LOT more in the shop, I can't find the one that's the cheaper option that I saw online, or I see an offer I didn't see online, or Grace has to buy raspberries or ice cream or cheese or whatever attracts a 3 year old that day, or I throw a few xyz in the trolley we didn't really need... supermarkets are not my friend.

clearmydebts

Wendz I am so sorry to hear your news. Can't imagine what you must be going through. My heart breaks for you. Big hugs to yourself, Poppy and the bump xxxx

Dinah - you remind me of me 2 years ago. I think NIM is very understanding and perceptive. I had to come to my own conclusion as well. And for me the holidays had to stop until we got rid of the debt.I think you might be similar to me??? I'm proud to say we haven't been on a sun holiday since 2012 and won't be on one until we get a house and the debt is nearly gone. Big big sacrifice for us but don't fool yourself into thinking you can afford big holidays. You can't if you have a certain level of debt. The kids are young now and are happy with a bucket and spade and a local beach, or park, or swimming pool. Being honest, if you book a holiday now it's for you, not the kids. They don't know or care.

The other thing is clothes. I was overspending and buying clothes for the next year. Big mistake. I can do that when I am debt free. I don't have the luxury of doing that now. I can't afford it. The same with huge presents for the kids birthdays and parties. They don't need or want them. Max had a party at home with old fashioned games and an ice-cream cake. His present cost €28. He doesn't love me any less. I would have loved to have bought him a bike, but he doesn't need a bike. He needs us to be good role models with money. I have also put myself on a 6 month shopping ban for kids clothes. I am 3 months into it now and it is so so hard. But I'm doing it, and I'm proud. As a result I am flying through the debts and savings at a quicker rate than I ever was. We are still doing lots with the kids, but being more inventive.

Sorry for the rant, but I was you. I hope you can relate to what I am saying xxx