The Ultimate Incentive Part 11 (or 10B) It's The Final Countdown

samsulisl

Sophistication was previously, it's certainly the final 12 months your woman really wants to usually perform along with individuals. Whenever your woman had been small she would lay on her behalf playmat all night as well as maintain himself entertained. Bill may be the reverse, he's in no way already been pleased by himself, he or she will not continue the actual playmat with regard to lengthier compared to it requires to visit the actual toilet or even get the meal, he is a genuine individuals individual.

Lol Sophistication presently assists me personally thoroughly clean, all of us do all of the kitchen area doorways collectively upon Wednesday, as well as she will assist through capturing whilst We haier. She is additionally a great sock matcher as well as likes to fill the actual washer beside me.

Already been focusing on my personal spreadsheet today, and so i understand what is arriving as well as away. I am additionally likely to try, with regard to the very first time actually, to complete the investing journal for that following couple weeks, attempt to sort out exactly where everything will go. Happy all of us did not begin the other day in between £115. 50 on her baby's room lunches, £17. sixty for any several weeks ballerina course because your woman phone calls this, £55. eighty-five upon gas, £19. 10 upon 12 newborn containers, £69. 98 upon 2 brand new sets associated with function footwear with regard to NIM within the purchase as well as £145. 50 about the TELEVISION license this was not an inexpensive day time! To date these days stays happen to be £22. '08 from Tesco (NIM trapped towards the checklist aside from 2 fifty percent cost prepared hens that we will remove as well as make use of for a lot of foods), £10. 05 upon Amazon . com upon a few newborn provides for that pressie container which were really decreased, as well as £143. seventy six upon contacts personally (however we are able to get back all that through medicash when the invoice occurs). It is a lot cash flowing away constantly.

Birdie85

Dinah93 wrote: »

I need to work very hard to find a way to live for today without spending like tomorrow will never come.

I think you need to put this in your sig!

I didn't mean to upset you with my comments, I just want to help. I wouldn't suggest that you cancel your family holiday, not at all, just that you should think twice about spending a lot of money on another break. I just really urge you to learn to live within your means once debt free, your *real* means i.e. regular income rather than adding on flog-your-guts-out-extras that seem to vary wildly month-to-month and that might mean having to say no to friends and family who are better off than you but that's life.

If you're still looking to send Ben and Grace to private school it's going to really hurt financially and it's not just the fees, but the extras and them wanting to do and have the same as their 'rich' friends... of course this is some time in the future, but it's going to be a bl00dy big cost! We're dreading Zach being school-age already and he's only going to state school!

A change of mind-set isn't going to happen overnight, it's going to be a long process to work on how to deal with anxiety in ways other than treating yourself and your family to 'stuff' as a display of control but you'll get there.

With your mugs, is it possible to print your logo on the bottom? I know it's random feedback, but mine is in the dishwasher every day at work and a) a logo would help me to spot it and b) it'd spread the word a little!

Dinah93

It's a good idea re mug logo but at the moment no it's not possible, dad has a buyer in China who is trying to develop a machine to do this exact thing though!

tinkerbel

Wowsers I have missed so much!

Firstly Wendz - massive hugs, I hope you are okay and as the others have said, we are always here for you, no matter what you need. I am sure that everything will be okay but I am thinking of you

I don't have any holidays officially booked but am constantly trawling travel deals!! eeek!! I just want a cheap week in the sun really though..!

Dinah, well done for realising your problem. I can't believe you habitually spend over £2k/month!! I can't remember how much NIM earns but I didn't think it was that much before all of the extra income earners come into play! Does that figure include the mortgage? (presumably not if it is on amex..?!) I definitely could not afford to pay rent and spend that much! Great idea to cut up/give the cards to NIM and get back in control! Keep posting of the spends, I'll try to check in more regularly! Hopefully the sling will work out at a profit! How long do you have to keep it for?

What are you going to do to avoid *fake* bargains?

I didn't even know private school was on the agenda! wow - does it cost a lot where you are from? Are you planning to apply for scholarships/bursaries? Were you and NIM privately educated? I think that a lot of people our generation who were will want the same for their children too but the costs are becoming prohibitive

Hope Grace's lungs are okay and she is sleeping through more!!!

tinkerbel

i forgot to say, the playroom looks great!! Well done! Can't believe how much stuff is in there! Dont think I'll ever have enough space for a child!

Cinny91

I thought I posted on Monday, but obviously not Playroom looks awesome! I was actually really shocked by the before photo I know from what you've posted that she had a lot but I never pictured that many toys! I bet you feel a lot "clearer" (if that makes sense?) having a big job like that ticked off your to-do list. We totally hauled out everything we didn't use/want anymore from our two spare rooms and we felt SO GOOD about it. I feel like 2015 is the year everyone seems to be streamlining their lives?!

I totally understand where you're coming from with the anxiety-depression cycle, Dinah. You've got every bit of my sympathy because it is the worst, it makes you do silly things like spend 2k a month or burst into tears when you just think you have to leave your home without having it planned out 48 hours in advance (yay me!) But you're not your illness and it isn't your fault, you were seemingly left to handle the finances single handed and you coped the best you could. The fact you're even facing your issues is a maaaaaassive deal in itself!

And in all honesty, even though I do agree with the points Bridie and CMD made, if treats and holidays are what you need to cope right now? I'd say a few extra months clearing debt is an extremely small price to pay. And who knows, in a couple months, you might be feeling a lot better (sunshine is soul medicine I swear!) and not need a holiday to work towards.

Sorry if I'm coming across as really OTT here, guess there's a reason why we're referred to as the "huggers", but mental health issues kick me in the heart

Also sending lots of hugs to Grace! Must be so scary, but there as so many bugs going around right now.. might that be having an impact? Hope she's been doing better these last couple days!

Keeping my fingers crossed all the Southern Threadies get the sunshine the news keeps babbling on about! As ever, the sky is total white-cloud with zero sun over here

kavics17

Hello strangers,

Haven't been online for ages, life is just so busy.

Dinah, well done for realising where you are going wrong. I have sympathy, I really do. And just hope you have the strength to do something about it this time.

Playroom, I can't not comment on it. Why do you need as many toys??? I mean mini Kavics has tons but it's not even fourth of yours. The amount you got for her birthday was just insane, for a moment I felt bad that mini Kavics only got 2 books from me but than I thought about how many she got from other relatives and felt much better afterwards. Children don't need as many toys, I find that the more choices they have the harder for them is to concentrate and play. Sorry, I don't want to hurt you but seriously I would declutter the playroom and sell half of it.

Wendz, I'm so sorry, hope you and bump are ok. Unfortunately a couple of my friends are in the same situation as you . Sending you hugs.

Dinah93

Cinny91 wrote: »

I bet you feel a lot "clearer" (if that makes sense?) having a big job like that ticked off your to-do list.

I totally understand where you're coming from with the anxiety-depression cycle, Dinah. You've got every bit of my sympathy because it is the worst, it makes you do silly things like spend 2k a month or burst into tears when you just think you have to leave your home without having it planned out 48 hours in advance (yay me!) But you're not your illness and it isn't your fault, you were seemingly left to handle the finances single handed and you coped the best you could. The fact you're even facing your issues is a maaaaaassive deal in itself!

And in all honesty, even though I do agree with the points Bridie and CMD made, if treats and holidays are what you need to cope right now? I'd say a few extra months clearing debt is an extremely small price to pay. And who knows, in a couple months, you might be feeling a lot better (sunshine is soul medicine I swear!) and not need a holiday to work towards.

Sorry if I'm coming across as really OTT here, guess there's a reason why we're referred to as the "huggers", but mental health issues kick me in the heart

Also sending lots of hugs to Grace! Must be so scary, but there as so many bugs going around right now.. might that be having an impact? Hope she's been doing better these last couple days!

I do feel a lot better for having it done... or I did until she glued her doll to the floor....

Thank you for understanding love, unless you've been in it I think it's very hard to understand how you can knowingly sabotage yourself in such a way. I wish I understood it better myself! I was on a maximum dose of anti-anxiety medication and a few anti depressants thrown in to boot until I fell pregnant with Ben, then I had to quit, and maybe I should be on a lower dose at the moment, but because my anxiety hasn't manifested in quite the same way I don't think I've realised what's happening.

I think the holiday for me means family time, which is what helps me more than anything. All of us adore those weeks when all the family is together.

She's doing okay, no being sick for 3 days now which is about a record. She's coughing less at night too, and didn't need the ultra antibiotics this time.

Last night I felt a bit dizzy but I thought maybe I'd overdone it, then I woke up in the night feeling like I was very drunk, bed was swaying, floor was moving, I fell over twice walking from our bedroom to the bathroom across the hall. Still there this morning, but less, so looks like my sniffly sinus cold has gone to my inner ear and I have a touch of vertigo, never had it before, can't say I care for it.

Very excited for my healthy lunch, all leftovers except the rocket which is fresh, but hot butternut squash, chorizo and king prawn salad, yum. Had everything in but the rocket so using up the freezer/back of the fridge dregs too

So, big and not great bit of news. NIM was called in to see his manager and area manager yesterday, and turns out they've hired him when they shouldn't have, he doesn't have a qualification needed to be in a management role, and if anything happened in the home they're wide open for an investigation from the CQC. Apparently he needs either NVQ3 in care or a nursing qualification, and he only has NVQ2. So he's being transferred to another home back to a senior carer. He's really upset he's let us down, but they knew he only had NVQ2 when they hired him so it's not his fault in the slightest. We're really disappointed and his wage is going to take a 35% cut again. I think the biggest thing is we wish they'd just said at interview 'We're sorry, you're good but you need to go away and do this before we could consider you' and it would be fine. As it is he left a job he liked, where he worked set days, with a team he liked, and now he's going to a new home, that he may or may not find as enjoyable to work in, where they may well find out he's been demoted which is going to cause rumours even though there's no fault on his part, and he's going to be doing random days and nights again so it's a lot harder to plan a family life. He's going to work very hard to get the NVQ3 but it'll realistically be a few months (was meant to be another year) until he can finish it.

So we spent this morning going through our budgets and even without my spending it's very clear to see where we're going wrong. With £0 on spending other than fuel and food we have nearly £1000 more going out a month than coming in. However if you take out all the debt payments we're £50 in the black. So we need to adjust the payments down to the minimum and see what else we can do. Working hard on this one but will take a few days to see a way I think.

Dinah93

Oh also, I'm creating a facebook group that I hope you'll all join. It's the Ultimate Threadies Big Sale Room - I want to list some of my clothes etc in there as I can't stomach ebay fees - hoping someone can get a few new bits for summer for a lost less than the high street - I have some really nice clothes and I'd rather sell them to friends. But the group is for anyone, you can list anything you want you think the rest of us might be interested in (so long as its legal obviously!). You can also invite other friends or MSEers,I'll make everyone able to invite anyone else, I'm hoping the group might work well on trust like the baby group does. I've invited some threadies already but just because I haven't invited you just means facebook didn't suggest you not that you can't join!

wendz86

So sorry about NIMs job Dinah and the cut in wages. That is awful they employed him without checking.