Taking Children out of School in Term Time

Person_one

pollyanna24 wrote: »

Again, this is true. And I think I am being a witness to this bit. And her brother the other witness. And they have parents, and my kids and that's it.

As much as I'd like a holiday, I am thinking that I'd rather take them (at 6 and 4) to Butlins for less money and hassle, but as I live with my brother at the moment, not sure I could take the fallout if I don't actually attend this big do in Greece.

It would be shockingly unreasonable for somebody to arrange a party abroad in the September and then get upset when somebody with a child starting reception couldn't go.

It sounds like you usually get on and have a good relationship, are you sure he wouldn't understand? It really is the absolute worst time for you, isn't it? If your presence was crucial, you should have been consulted on the date!

Person_one

pollyanna24 wrote: »

It is towards the end of September. My youngest already attends the nursery, so it won't be as huge an adjustment as what it could, i.e. she will know most of her classmates and maybe the teacher.

Ah sorry, didn't see this.

That makes it a bit less unfair on the 4 year old.

Very tricky that the accommodation is already paid for, you have sort of committed to it now.

£360 is a lot of money though, does your brother realise you'll be incurring that fine? Is it recorded anywhere, does it have any longer term implications?

Mojisola

The unauthorised absence will be on the children's school records.

belfastgirl23

I wonder if you were to have a quiet word with the headteacher (or a sympathetic teacher if you know one), explain the situation and see what s/he comes up with. You live with your brother so the children are particularly close to him, they have significant roles in the wedding and the venue is difficult to get to. You also had no control over the timing of the wedding or indeed the venue (perhaps this is something that the bride especially wanted?). You are very concerned about taking them out of school at this time but you are also concerned about depriving the children, your brother and yourself of something that's really important. You are in a difficult position and my feeling is that it's worth explaining the position and seeing if there is any leeway at all.


To give your brother some credit as well, southern European countries can be crazily hot in July and August and this would be very difficult for a wedding!

pollyanna24

Person_one wrote: »

It would be shockingly unreasonable for somebody to arrange a party abroad in the September and then get upset when somebody with a child starting reception couldn't go.

It sounds like you usually get on and have a good relationship, are you sure he wouldn't understand? It really is the absolute worst time for you, isn't it? If your presence was crucial, you should have been consulted on the date!

They don't have kids I guess and don't realise how much hassle that causes (not that I would if it was a holiday of my choosing, but I would never choose a holiday at my kids' ages that involved a four hour flight and I would never have chosen September as the time to go).

We do have a good relationship, although when he hears that I haven't actually booked the flights yet, I get narky comments from him. As if it's that simply to come with £1,123 for the five of us (parents included).

His fiancee who is lovely has made comments about other people like her friends who aren't able to go, and I'm not sure they'd accept that I can't afford to go now.

I am setting up a document with all the information I need about Greece, i.e. additional costs and how to get to places, and where local shops are (if I can find this out) as stuff like this stresses me out if I don't know beforehand.

Mojisola

belfastgirl23 wrote: »

I wonder if you were to have a quiet word with the headteacher (or a sympathetic teacher if you know one), explain the situation and see what s/he comes up with.

You are in a difficult position and my feeling is that it's worth explaining the position and seeing if there is any leeway at all.

The Headteachers have had their power to give permission in such circumstances removed.

They have to comply with the law and any permissions they give are scrutinised during inspections.

peachyprice

belfastgirl23 wrote: »

I wonder if you were to have a quiet word with the headteacher (or a sympathetic teacher if you know one), explain the situation and see what s/he comes up with. You live with your brother so the children are particularly close to him, they have significant roles in the wedding and the venue is difficult to get to. You also had no control over the timing of the wedding or indeed the venue (perhaps this is something that the bride especially wanted?). You are very concerned about taking them out of school at this time but you are also concerned about depriving the children, your brother and yourself of something that's really important. You are in a difficult position and my feeling is that it's worth explaining the position and seeing if there is any leeway at all.

I'm sure the head would be sympathetic, if OP were only asking for time off for the wedding, not turning into a week+ holiday!

pollyanna24

peachyprice wrote: »

I'm sure the head would be sympathetic, if OP were only asking for time off for the wedding, not turning into a week+ holiday!

I'm not turning it into a holiday. I personally can't think of much worse than my kids on a four hour flight, in an apartment for a week with no toys, prob no English tv and no wifi!!

Edited - And I do realise that I have completed changed from wanting to go on this trip to a complete turnaround now. In my original post, I stated that I would like to go (even though I had my doubts) as my original question was about their school and so I didn't want to confuse the issue (although I realise I now have).

Spendless

Pollyanna, please look up your own council/LA's rules on exceptional circs they vary. The first one I googled and have posted below has weddings abroad on it. I know mine doesn't! You can also check how much a fine would be. Here you'd pay £60 per child, per absence, per parent (not per day)

http://www2.eastriding.gov.uk/learning/schools-colleges-and-academies/school-attendance/holidays-during-term-time-and-authorised-absence-from-school/

From the link

In order for consideration to be given, requests for absence must be for exceptional
circumstances only.
The primary and secondary behaviour and attendance partnerships and the council agree to follow the law, in such that the provision for Headteachers to authorise absence purely for the purpose of a family holiday is not an exceptional circumstance.
Exceptional circumstances could include:

Service personnel returning from a tour of duty abroad where it is evidenced the individual will not be in receipt of any leave in the near future that coincides with school holidays.

Where an absence from school is recommended by a health professional as part of a parent or child’s rehabilitation from a medical or emotional issue.

The death or terminal illness of a person close to the family.

To attend a wedding or funeral of a person close to the family.

Where there are exceptional and unforeseen circumstances that fall outside of 1 to 4 above, the Headteacher agrees to consult with the principal education welfare officer prior to any authorisation being given to the parent. The principal education welfare officer will discuss each case with an independent Headteacher and will make a recommendation to the referring school.

and

A wedding abroad needs evidence of the event and can include invitations and evidence of travel/accommodation reservations.

notanewuser

Mojisola wrote: »

The Headteachers have had their power to give permission in such circumstances removed.

They have to comply with the law and any permissions they give are scrutinised during inspections.

Depends where you are. Here in Wales Local Authorities have been told they have to do something about low attendance. Our local authority came up with a fining policy, but left it to Governing bodies to decide what their schools would do. My DD's school has very high attendance figures and it was felt that the head should be able to use his discretion as to whether time off should be authorised or not.

One of DH's brothers has a fianc! who wants to get married abroad. We've no idea when it might be (it's dependent on my niece's hair growing so possibly never) but if they booked at the start of the school year we wouldn't be going. The 6 week summer holiday zaps us in terms of routine etc, so that first half term is really important for DD (4) to be there.