how do you know when the time is right to ask the question?

catkins

Obviously we are all different but, for me, 5 years together and not even engaged just seems strange. Surely you know in that time whether your want to spend the rest of your lives together?


Me and OH met in the January and married in the June. I was 26 and he was 23. We celebrate our 35th wedding anniversary this year.


We had both lived with a previous partner (me for almost 3 years and him for 2 years). Neither of us wanted to marry the other partner as we didn't feel "they were the one". From the first time we met we saw each other every day even if only for an hour. OH did shift work and we would meet for maybe breakfast one day or a quick lunch of he was working in the evening. We never lived together as we wanted our relationship to be different from the other serious one we had both had.


I know couples who knew each other a short time and are still happily married and couples who knew each other 7 or more years and are now divorced so there is no real "right time"

BoJangles_2

mustang121 wrote: »

How do you know when the time is right to propose?


I've been living with my girlfriend in a shared mortgage house for 3 years and been together for five years. we are both 28 and would like children by time we are 30 and after we are married.

Better get a move on then!

Fuzzy_Duck

mustang121 wrote: »

Thanks for the replies.
We've already discussed the future and savings for a wedding.

In my opinion, being engaged is agreeing to get married, not making a grand proposal. As you've already been discussing it in such detail that makes you engaged in my eyes. It's not the length of time that matters, it's how serious you consider your relationship and whether you want to be with this person for the rest of your life.

Personally I didn't get a proposal or a ring- we'd talked about it for some time, and eventually decided we'd start saving up for a wedding. I have a friend though who did the same thing but didn't make it official until she'd picked out a ring and her partner had presented it with her at a suitably romantic time.

I find it all a bit daft to be honest. If you want to get married, just ask her! As you've got her a ring you clearly already know you want to do it, so don't faff about waiting for the perfect opportunity. If she wants to marry you she'll say yes regardless of how you ask

Torry_Quine

Fuzzy_Duck wrote: »

In my opinion, being engaged is agreeing to get married, not making a grand proposal. As you've already been discussing it in such detail that makes you engaged in my eyes. It's not the length of time that matters, it's how serious you consider your relationship and whether you want to be with this person for the rest of your life.

Personally I didn't get a proposal or a ring- we'd talked about it for some time, and eventually decided we'd start saving up for a wedding. I have a friend though who did the same thing but didn't make it official until she'd picked out a ring and her partner had presented it with her at a suitably romantic time.

I find it all a bit daft to be honest. If you want to get married, just ask her! As you've got her a ring you clearly already know you want to do it, so don't faff about waiting for the perfect opportunity. If she wants to marry you she'll say yes regardless of how you ask

I agree with you. If you as a couple are making plans for marriage such as saving then you are engaged!

Brighton_belle

Snakey wrote: »

It does feel different, being married, even though you've already been living together. So my advice is not to assume it'll be the same - give yourself some time afterwards to get used to everything and keep other stress to a minimum. They say the first year is the worst, so if I were you I'd take my foot off the pregnancy pedal until everything's settled down again.

???? "the first year is the worst"???? We absolutely loved being married to each other from the moment we said 'I do': we were happy living together and yes it for us it did feel different being married - even better!