how do you know when the time is right to ask the question?

Mojisola

mustang121 wrote: »

I would be devastated. We trust one another completely and still have loads of great fun.....both socially and privately .

Sounds good!

It's probably just nerves - it's much easier to stay together informally for 'another week' and 'another month' and 'another year' than to take the plunge and say 'let's stay together forever'.

Snakey

It does feel different, being married, even though you've already been living together. So my advice is not to assume it'll be the same - give yourself some time afterwards to get used to everything and keep other stress to a minimum. They say the first year is the worst, so if I were you I'd take my foot off the pregnancy pedal until everything's settled down again.

Divorce is not that big of a deal if you don't have kids or debts and neither of you have made any big sacrifices in the name of "us", aside from a bit more paperwork it needn't be any different from splitting up if you weren't married.

Don't let planning the wedding become too big of a deal and take over your lives and your relationship and cause arguments. It's "being married" that should be the goal, not "having the perfect wedding day".

And finally... I am sure you will have no problems but remember it isn't done until it's done - if you see red flags along the way, if your beloved, or her family, show a different side of themselves as a result of a problem that arises, or if the process makes you realise that your priorities and values are not as similar as you'd thought, then you don't have to go through with it.

Good luck!

mgdavid

Then, tonight!
Seize the moment.
JFDI.

jen1301

I think you just 'know'.

Hubby and I have been together three years. He proposed in the November when we had been together just under a year, we then married the following November so we've now been married just over a year. I think some people thought we were doing things too quickly but for us it just felt the right thing to do.

Hubbys parents met and married within 6 month and are still happily married after 30 odd years.

Then on the other hand I was with my ex for nearly 8 years and it just didn't feel right, which is ultimately why we split in the end.

I think there is no such thing as a right time to get married. When you know you're with someone you want to spend your life with, as long as they feel the same, I think it doesn't matter how long you've been together at all.

System

It doesn't matter how long you've been together.... When you know he/she is the 'One'.

Seanymph

You sound ready to me.

Northern78

You're ready not when you can't imagine your life without her but when you can imagine life without her and your heart sinks.

Fake_Northerner

If you want to be married and have a kid by the time you're 30 and you're 28 then you'd better get a move on. No one can tell you when you're ready apart from you. Some people know at 5 months.. Different for everyone.

You'll have to let us know what happens when you do propose!

Owain_Moneysaver

Has she started leaving "wedding" magazines about the house, or looking at rings in shop windows?

mgdavid

Owain_Moneysaver wrote: »

Has she started leaving "wedding" magazines about the house, or looking at rings in shop windows?

too bad if she has - see post #8