Would you lend money to a close family member?

rjhammond91

I would lend money to very close family.
I've borrowed money off my nan in the past and have paid it back.
I wouldn't have any problems asking my mum for money if needed. I would also lend money to mum if she needed it.

Jagraf

robotrobo wrote: »

well said marley, im the grandaddy of all my family & i reasonably know whats going on even though im not to nosey
& i would not have let you get in to that difficulty , you might have to sell the property & i might lose a bit of money, but eh ho ! family first thankyou , just for the record im not a easy touch , but in the back of my mind i have some in reserve just in case one loses a job or becomes ill,
And just for the record im glad im not related to some of the hard posts!

Bless you :T my dad is like that too. He said he would cut off his right arm for his grand-daughter (hoping it won't come to that lol).

It woke break my heart if my DD didn't think she could come and ask.

kelpie35

Surely Your mother sees your living conditions and it is strange that she has not offered you help before it has got this bad.

I know it is difficult to find work these days.

If the job situation is so bad in your area would it not be better to sell up now, get what you can for your house, and then rent a property that allows you to get housing and council tax benefit.

browneyedbazzi

I wouldn't - my parents have bailed out various family members (including my sibling and my dad's brother) many times over and I've seen first hand the tensions and issues it causes in the family when people don't pay it back or are very slow to do so, causing hardship.

If I had the money and could comfortably afford to gift it to a family member in need, I would. But I wouldn't go into debt myself for anyone or lend money.

JimmyTheWig

If you've got a sure-fire way of paying it back then fine.
If it's a gamble on you selling the house then no. Unless I could afford to see it as a gift rather than a loan and was happy to.

Generally speaking, spending money on a house to sell it doesn't help you that much.
The people buying the house could spend out what you are thinking of spending themselves with the same outcome. Yes it is more hassle for them, but they end up with things how they want it.

So why not take the cost of the work off the value of the house with the work done and sell for that price?

Primrose

robotrobo wrote: »

And just for the record im glad im not related to some of the hard posts!

Please don't assume the hard posters have no sympathy. Believe me, some of us will have been down this road of lending money to family before and have been badly let down, to our own financial cost. Once you've been badly burned, you tend to be very wary of the fire next time round!

Poppops

I often give money to my parents who are not very well off and would have no way to pay it back.

I would definitely lend my son money, especially if he were in trouble. In fact, I would do anything in my power to help him, if he really needed it, even if it was financially detrimental to myself. I don't think it would ever happen as he is pretty well set up, but if it did, I'd be there to help. He would do the same for me.

But that is where it ends.

A few years ago I lent my brother a very large amount of money. Every part payment, and there weren't many, he gave me was given begrudgingly, and in the end he just stopped paying. It appears now that it was my own fault for lending him it in the first plays, so he says. He is probably right. His wife denied the loan ever happened. My brother hasn't spoken to me since the day he told me he wasn't paying back any more.

I think most parents would want to know if their children were struggling, and be given the opportunity to help if they could.

Don't feel bad about it OP. We all need help sometimes

Jagraf

Poppops wrote: »

I often give money to my parents who are not very well off and would have no way to pay it back.

I would definitely lend my son money, especially if he were in trouble. In fact, I would do anything in my power to help him, if he really needed it, even if it was financially detrimental to myself. I don't think it would ever happen as he is pretty well set up, but if it did, I'd be there to help. He would do the same for me.

But that is where it ends.

A few years ago I lent my brother a very large amount of money. Every part payment, and there weren't many, he gave me was given begrudgingly, and in the end he just stopped paying. It appears now that it was my own fault for lending him it in the first plays, so he says. He is probably right. His wife denied the loan ever happened. My brother hasn't spoken to me since the day he told me he wasn't paying back any more.

I think most parents would want to know if their children were struggling, and be given the opportunity to help if they could.

Don't feel bad about it OP. We all need help sometimes

Excellent post :T

Mrs_Soup

I would absolutely want to help if my child had problems like this and I could help without any real detriment to myself (ie would go without a holiday for example but not make myself homeless over it). And I am pretty certain my parents would help me in similar circumstances (as I would them).

Lily-Rose_3

I would give my last to my daughter (21 this year,) if she was struggling, even if I had to go without myself! And I think there is no shame in asking parents for help, even if you're a grown-up yourself!

My daughter has struggled a bit at uni, and we chuck the odd 50 to 75 quid into her account every 3 weeks or so if we can, which she has not asked for, but for which she has been very grateful, as it has helped her of a few holes, and meant she has a bit less to worry about.

Your parents must only lend you the money, if they have the money however, and if they can afford to lose it, because you may not be able to give it back.

I would never let anyone have money that I desperately needed, in case I didn't get it back, but if I could afford to lose it then I would let them have it, and if I got it back, it would be a bonus.

Do ask your parents OP. There is no shame in it. It's through circumstances that you're in the mess you're in. Not your fault.