Weekly Flylady Thread 30th July 2007!

aimeelister

Pigpen - just for you

Marriage (Part I )
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady, and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you.I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing when I want with my old buddies, and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said:
"No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night...whether you're here or not."

(DARN SHE'S GOOD!)

************************************************
Marriage (Part II)

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As Ever'!"
"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband -- Stiff At Last'!"

(HE ASKED FOR IT!)


*****************************************
Marriage (Part III)

Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house.

After some time he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says,
"What took you so long to answer to the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed."
"In bed this early, doing what?"
"Getting a second opinion!


*****************************************

Marriage (Part IV)

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it IS time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of Six?"

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Any time you're ready, Father of Four."

(You Go Girl!)

*****************************************
THE SILENT TREATMENT

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn't wakened him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

lil_me

Pigpen you'll probably giggle at this one - I decided to be adventurous and try to reach the top shelf on my new ones, well you see me being small takes a bit of effort. Anyway up I go, onto the potty stool then onto a chair, then a big high stool. Son comes down, laughs at me then ran off with the chair and potty stool. Me shaking like an idiot hating heights, begging him to bring it back, he just stood feet away with it laughing at me. Said 'Promise me milkshake and I'll let you down ' Little s*d! Same child who said the other day 'I'm being nice but don't expect it to last' love to know where he got that from..

Regardless ((hugs)) my partner been the same today, always gets like that when doing DIY, calling me stupid etc, in fact no screaming it at me in the middle of the street calling me a stupid !!!!! He thinks I will just do as he does and forget it, but I can't.

Oh and person still causing issues with the club, seems because he/she I don't know which one legally is yet, pressume female as name has changed, was told off for the taking money out and the manner it was done. It was actually made as a general comment by someone saying that no money would leave without prior agreement and receipt. Threatening to cause problems for club. Said I was being discriminative because of the fact was a he but I think now has finished surgery and is she, and was told I have a friend who has had the same thing done, I couldn't give a monkeys if chooses to be male or female I just don't like them! Sorry but I think it would be more discriminative if I pretended to like them just because of what they choose to do with their life. Not being called discriminative by anyone when I am far from it!

Oh I've got some more of the shelves filled, Dyson almost done, got one icky part soaking, don't want to make it too obvious that I've just cleaned it. Bathrooms done.

cha97michelle

Pigpen - huge hugs

Not in a particularly hilarious mood either but i'm reading a thread in the arms that is making me chuckle, called the bad mothers thread.Just tried to post a link - i'm assuming it must be popular as there are about 200 pages but bits of it are really funny.


Why do blokes have to be !!!'s?

You aren't doing it for him. you are doing it for yourself and your beautiful kids.

pigpen

I'm going to go clean under the rim with his electric tooth brush.. the motion gets the motion off so much easier than good old fashioned elbow grease!! :mad:

THEN I am going to get a shower and get my gladrags on and go get ratted :rotfl: .. well maybe not quite!! I did have an offer of clubbing with my baby sister though.. so you never know!! :A

nicki_2

aimeelister wrote: »

Marriage (Part I )
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady, and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you.I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing when I want with my old buddies, and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said:
"No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night...whether you're here or not."

(DARN SHE'S GOOD!)

************************************************
Marriage (Part II)

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As Ever'!"
"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband -- Stiff At Last'!"

(HE ASKED FOR IT!)


*****************************************
Marriage (Part III)

Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house.

After some time he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says,
"What took you so long to answer to the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed."
"In bed this early, doing what?"
"Getting a second opinion!


*****************************************

Marriage (Part IV)

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it IS time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of Six?"

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Any time you're ready, Father of Four."

(You Go Girl!)

*****************************************
THE SILENT TREATMENT

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn't wakened him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: I HAVE to add that last sentence as my signiture! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

pigpen

I've always said man was the prototype when God realised his errors he corrected them and made women ...

Dustykitten

Evening all - sorry some of you guys are having a tough time. Pigpen why do you think women live so much longer than men? They've got too much to do before they die. Go girl and have some fun.

pigpen

no dusty.. it is because men work SO hard they wear themselves out and into the grave much sooner than women... or so they claim!!!! ... Best get our hubby's second/third and fourth jobs hadn't we?? lol

JillD_2

Not a bad day , got more done that I thought.

Thursday Bathroom and Study/Pc Area
Level One
[STRIKE]Clear any clutter from desk[/STRIKE]
Level Two
[STRIKE]Clear clutter from floor
Clean shower x 2, toilet x 3 and sink x 3
Dust PC and desk [/STRIKE]


Other:
ironing
[STRIKE]small food shopping[/STRIKE] actually did big proper shop which was knackering
[STRIKE]get DS to try on school uniform[/STRIKE]
pay credit card bills
pay window cleaner
[STRIKE]wrap present for DS to take to party on Sunday
[/STRIKE]de-cobweb baby's room
dust baby's room
put away pile of clothes sitting in baby's room


The Long Term List
pay credit card bills
pay window cleaner
transfer all aranged play date things to diary and calendar
[STRIKE]- shred big pile sitting beside shredder
- wash and put on spare room bed linen [/STRIKE]- well sheets and pillow cases on, seem to have lost duvet cover somewhere !
[STRIKE]- hang curtains in DD new room[/STRIKE]
- hem curtains in DD new room
- stick up wall stickers in DD new room[STRIKE][/STRIKE]
- make cushion covers for cushions for DD new bedroom
- move DD height chart and door name plate thing
- clean room ready for baby
- get cot, moses basket etc down from loft and clean
[STRIKE]- batch cook shepherds pie
- batch cook chilli[/STRIKE]
[STRIKE]- batch cook sausage caserole [/STRIKE]-still in slow cooker but its getting there
[STRIKE]- batch cook quorn and veg caserole
[/STRIKE]
- batch cook cheesy quorn veg pie
- hang pictures in spare room
- hang swimming certificates up in kids rooms
- seam curtains in our bedroom
- get new curtain pole for our bedroom
- label all boxes of stuff in garage so we can find things
- finish edging on rug for baby's room
- make Ruby Wedding album for Mum and Dad (it was 14 months ago )
- sort out photos into nice storage boxes OH bought me
- make sure everything I need is off old laptop and decide whether to sell
- make sure everything is off old PC which kids now use
- organise recipes
- clear out bureau

Solwaykid

Big hugs to all of you whose OHs are taking you for granted lately.
Aimee, I loved those tales!
Pigpen, and any body else for that matter, make your own fun and don't let them drag you down when they're in that kind of mood. What's that saying? something like Women get together to talk about their bad relationships, Men get together so that they don't have to. Something like that. Don't dwell, just be your happy selves.

Been flying around this evening getting the house straight for Friday visitors followed closely by Saturday visitors. Friday is 'The Man I'm Not Seeing' followed by my Bro who knows The Man etc but doesn't know that I'm not seeing him or even seeing him if you see what I mean.. Honestly, for 2 single people it's laughable but we've both had our fingers burnt and it seems a happy arrangement.

I'm off tomorrow but I'm taking my car for a, probably, expensive service and going to spend some time with my Mum so I won't be Flying. We might post though as she wants a 'driving' lesson on the MSE site and help with her spread sheet palarva.
Have a good day tomorrow. JillD, promise you won't try and finish that list!

Look after yourselves.